Keeper of the Spatula
by SOLmaster
Summary: SpongeBob and friends journey to the Arctic Ocean to throw a possessed golden spatula into a volcano to destroy it. Will they make it before Plankton gets it or will its curse overcome SpongeBob? Read and Review. Complete!
1. Chapter 1: Songs and Spatulas

_Hey there, everyone! It's SOLmaster, or as some of you may know as the author who wrote the SpongeBob SquarePants stories "The Yellow Avenger", "Night of the Weresnail", and "Future Shock". And ever since I wrote the sequel to the latter, I haven't been able to come up with an SB story that seemed exciting enough for anyone to enjoy._

_But then, I watch the Lord of the Rings movie, and I came up with this. I love the story to it, and I thought, "What if there was a SpongeBob version of it?" So after careful thinking, I decided to write one which I title "Keeper of the Spatula"._

_Yes, I've written parodies before, but this time it's different. I'm not copying it word for word. I'm putting in my own ideas, and ideas that I do use from the source material, it's mostly just played for laughs. But why should I explain? Why don't you just read for yourselves and see if you enjoy it? You can find a full summary on my profile if you wanna learn more._

_So enough of the long author's note, time to enjoy the first chapter… _

**Keeper of the Spatula**

Chapter 1: Songs and Spatulas

One sunny day at the Krusty Krab, many customers were there at tables enjoying delicious krabby patties, while Squidward stood at the cash register, trying to ignore another one of SpongeBob's childish songs about his favorite food in the world that his job is to cook.

"_OHHHHHH!"_ SpongeBob sang in a high note, and then switched to his normal singing voice, "_K stands for kindness that enters the soul and mind, R stands for ravishing is your outside, A stands for awesome taste! BB stands for big and best, and Y stands for why disagree?"_

SpongeBob then shouted in joy and tossed his spatula in the air, only for it to slip out of his hand and bounce off the floor with a clang and slide under the grill.

"Oops," SpongeBob peeped in worry. "Don't worry, Spatty. I'll get you back."

He kneeled down onto the floor and crawled around, desperately trying to get back his spatula to continue flipping patties. He bent down further peek under the grill to see his spatula lying under.

"Ah ha!" SpongeBob said with a smile as he reached his hand under the grill. But upon feeling around for his spatula, he unknowingly pushed a mysterious button under the grill.

"I got you now." He managed to reach his arm all the way under the grill and pull out his spatula. "I'm sorry about that. Gotta be careful with my finishing notes."

Suddenly he felt a rumble beneath him and got a panicked look. "Sea quake!" he shouted as he stood up in fright.

But right below him, part of the floor started to move beneath his feet instead of vibrate and a hole opened up like a compartment and he fell through. But instead of falling through a gaping hole, SpongeBob fell down a long flight of stairs that caused him to yelp in pain with each drop.

Once he hit the ground, SpongeBob sat up and held his head as he groaned in pain. "Ohhh…" but he soon shook it off and stared and his surroundings.

It looked like an underground cavern with a bunch of storage boxes stacked on the rocky grounds. SpongeBob walked around and stared in curiosity.

"Wow," he said in amazement. "I didn't know we had a cellar."

As he walked around, he soon spotted a small pond of water up ahead, and he ran excitedly to get a closer look.

"This is amazing." SpongeBob said as he bent down toward the pond. "Mr. Krabs never mentioned he had a wading pool."

Unable to resist he closed his eyes and hopped into the water with a splash. But when he opened his eyes, he saw the water only went up to his ankles, much to his disappointment.

"Hmm," SpongeBob thought as he stared down at the shallow water. "Not much of a pool to wade in."

But something soon caught his eyes as he spotted a sparkling item in the water. He bent down and reached his hand into the water and pulled out a shiny golden spatula. His eyes twinkle at the sight of it.

"I don't believe it." SpongeBob said in awe as he held the spatula in his hands. "An actual golden spatula that I'm holding in my hands; and it's in great shape." Then he put a finger to his chin. "I wonder…"

And with that, SpongeBob quickly dashed away with the newfound golden spatula in his hand and went back up the steps.

* * *

Upstairs, Squidward poked his head through the window and looked around for the fry cook.

"SpongeBob, where are you?" Squidward asked in an angry tone. "You're supposed to be frying those krabby patties."

And just like that, SpongeBob zipped back in front of the grill. "I'm right here, Squidward." He said with a smile as he held the golden spatula. "We both are."

"What is that?" Squidward asked.

"This is the new spatula I found." SpongeBob answered, showing him the gold spatula. "I call it Goldie. Wanna see me fry up some patties with it?"

"No thanks. I don't come here every day to watch you stand around, doing your job like an idiot. Just cook the orders already."

"You got it, Squidward." SpongeBob said with a wink, and then turned to the spatula. "Alright, Goldie, this is your big moment."

SpongeBob placed four raw krabby patties on the grill and they began to sizzle. After a while, he began to use his new spatula to flip the krabby patty over. But suddenly, the spatula glowed green when the patty was flipped over. What SpongeBob didn't expect was that the spatula suddenly moved on its own to turn the second patty over.

"Huh?" SpongeBob wondered as his arm was jerked around by the spatula he was holding as it flipped the third patty. "Goldie?"

He let go of the spatula, but instead of falling on the ground, the spatula just hovered there and flipped over the last krabby patty on its own.

SpongeBob looked spooked for a second. However, he soon smiled and looked amazed. "Wow, Goldie." He said to the working spatula as the sponge tossed over another raw krabby patty to it which landed safely on the spatula and it placed it on the grill. "I never would've imagined you could do this."

Once one krabby patty was cooked, SpongeBob held out a bun, and the spatula placed the patty on the bottom.

Then the kitchen door opened, and SpongeBob twirled out of it as Squidward stared. "Where's that krabby patty you were supposed to bring?" he asked the sponge.

"It's coming." SpongeBob singsongs with a smile.

To Squidward's surprise, the golden spatula hovers out of the kitchen, carrying a tray with a krabby patty and drink, and placing it on the customer's table.

"Nice job, Goldie." SpongeBob said as he pat the utensil. "See? Isn't he great, Squidward?"

Then SpongeBob suddenly began to sing a high note again while Squidward kept staring with his mouth agape, "As if this could not get anymore creepy."

SpongeBob: **OHHHH! Me and my Goldie**

**We make a great team**

**Serving up patties**

**Just as it seems**

The golden spatula flipped more krabby patties off the grill while SpongeBob caught them on plates, having them land perfectly on the buns.

SpongeBob: **Me and my Goldie**

**We're doin' our part**

**Serving up patties**

**With all of our heart**

SpongeBob and "Goldie" continue to serve all the krabby patties they made to the customers, who accept them happily and probably even enjoying SpongeBob's little show tune, completely ignoring the oddity of an animate spatula cooking and serving their food.

"And it just did." Squidward said with an annoyed look.

SpongeBob: **It may seem abnormal**

**It may seem obscure**

**But with Goldie at my side and our love of work**

**We can keep ourselves going**

**That I am sure**

SpongeBob soon began to dance around the restaurant while serving more and more krabby patties to the customers that were now piling in. He couldn't figure out why other than his joyful singing and the deliciousness of a krabby patty he usually made that came along with it.

From all the way at the Chum Bucket, Plankton was spying on the whole thing from a high-powered telescope, wondering the same thing.

…But as the customers chow down, they both soon figured out the reason why.

"These krabby patties are delicious." A female fish said after taking a bite of one.

"They're the best I've ever had." Another male fish added.

"Never have I eaten a krabby patty this delectable." A third male fish said.

After hearing all the compliments, SpongeBob looked at the golden spatula in his hand with a proud smile. "Did you hear that, Goldie? You are the best little fry cook ever! I think we'll celebrate with one more verse!"

SpongeBob: **OHHHH! Me and my Goldie**

**We make a great team**

**Serving up patties**

**Just as it seems**

From inside his office, Mr. Krabs looked up from his paperwork at his desk after hearing all the commotion from outside.

SpongeBob: **Me and my Goldie**

**We're doin' our part**

**Serving up patties**

**With all of our heart**

After SpongeBob's spectacular musical number (complete with a blast of confetti in the background for a finale), Mr. Krabs emerged from his office, surprised at the crowds of customers gathered in, eating dozens of krabby patties and paying lots of money.

"Wow, boy-o." Mr. Krabs said as he approached SpongeBob with a smile. "I can't believe you attracted all these payin' customers."

"Don't thank just me, Mr. Krabs." SpongeBob said as he held his new spatula. "Thank me…and Goldie."

"Yeah, Goldie, can't forget-" but at this, Mr. Krabs gasped when he noticed the golden spatula SpongeBob was holding.

Suddenly, a red warning light flashed and a loud siren rang out, startling all the customers. Mr. Krabs yelled at the top of his lungs, "Vacate the premises, everyone! This place is closed until further notice!" as he chased out the customers, he continued yelling, "Ya heard me! Out all of ya!"

Once the restaurant was empty, the Krusty Krab went into lockdown with steel walls covering the windows and doors.

An angry Mr. Krabs then walked over to Squidward and SpongeBob, who both had equally odd looks.

"Hmm…" SpongeBob muttered to the spatula. "Maybe we should've added an extra verse to the song."

_Okay, normally I don't put full songs in fics because it's a story. But when I didn't, this chapter just kinda seemed plain and boring. So…I wrote the lyrics myself and I composed the music on my electric keyboard. It's just too bad I can't play it for you, so you're just gonna have to use your imagination and think of music that you think best fits the mood of the song. I'm sure you can do it._

_So the story is just starting. I hope you stick around for the next chapter to learn the mystery behind the magic golden spatula. So please review and the next chapter will be up soon._


	2. Chapter 2: Artifact of Doom

_I now bring you the next chapter of Keeper of the Spatula. Last time, SpongeBob found a golden spatula that has the ability to cook krabby patties on its own, and ones that tastes even better than anyone else's. But when Mr. Krabs saw it, he freaked out. Time to find out why…_

Chapter 2: Artifact of Doom

At the locked-down Krusty Krab, Mr. Krabs confronted both SpongeBob and Squidward as the sponge stood there confused with the golden spatula in his hand.

"Both of yas realize the dangers ya just inflicted, do ya?" Mr. Krabs asked with a deep glare at SpongeBob and Squidward.

"Mr. Krabs, whatever this nonsense is about, I'm just gonna let you know I had nothing to do with it." Squidward pointed out. "If you want answers, talk to SpongeBob."

"Well, as much as I would love to explain myself, I'm afraid I can't." SpongeBob happily pointed out. "Goldie and I were just doing what we love best."

He held out the spatula, and Mr. Krabs flinched and yelped in fright until he demanded, "Boy, you tell me right now exactly where you found that thing."

SpongeBob answered, "Down in the cellar."

"My secret underground room…" Mr. Krabs whispered to himself. "I was certain no one would ever find it."

"You have a secret underground room?" Squidward questioned.

"Of course I do." Mr. Krabs answered and pointed at the spatula. "Where else am I supposed to keep something as evil as that thing?"

"But Mr. Krabs, Goldie's not evil." SpongeBob said as he held out the spatula in his hands. "He's wonderful. He loves making krabby patties just as much as me. Not to mention, the patties he can make are delicious." He reached behind him and pulled out a krabby patty. "Here try one."

"No thank-" Squidward was saying until SpongeBob just stuffed the krabby patty in his mouth and was forced to swallow it whole. "Hey, not bad." He admitted with a small smile.

"See?" SpongeBob said to Mr. Krabs. "Anything that can make krabby patties that good can't possibly be evil."

Mr. Krabs suddenly snatched the spatula from SpongeBob. "Boys…allow me to shed a little light on the subject." Then he began heading into the kitchen. "Follow me."

Feeling confused, but not bothering to question, both SpongeBob and Squidward follow their boss into the kitchen. Mr. Krabs then turns on the grill and lays the spatula on the edge, holding it by the grip and allowing the metal to heat up.

After about a minute, Mr. Krabs hands the spatula to SpongeBob, who yelps in pain as he juggles the hot spatula in hands. He then grips the handle to see something about the spatula that wasn't there till now. On the metal handle of the golden spatula, a name was engraved in fancy curved letters, spelling out 'Hoagie Grindulas'.

"'Hoagie Grindulas'?" SpongeBob read out loud, and looked at his boss. "Who's Hoagie Grindulas?"

"Aye, that's what this is all about." Mr. Krabs answered. "A long time ago, when the Krusty Krab first opened its doors, there was its first fry cook, a young lad by the name of Hoagie Grindulas."

Mr. Krabs then walked down in into the secret underground room, and SpongeBob and Squidward glance at each other until Mr. Krabs came back up with a picture of a grinning shark with glasses and braces; wearing a yellow shirt, a cooking apron over it, a Krusty Krab hat and name tag; and was holding a silver spatula that had his name on it. On the bottom of the picture was text that said 'March' on it, indicating it was an old Employee of the Month photo.

"He doesn't look like someone who would carry around an evil spatula." Squidward pointed out.

"Yeah," SpongeBob agreed with a smile. "He looks like a terrific fry cook."

Mr. Krabs laughed and smiled. "He was, lad, he was. One of the best I ever had. That is until…that day."

* * *

Mr. Krabs became lost in the memory as he told the story of his first fry cook to his two employees. _'Hoagie Grindulas was a great guy; about your age, SpongeBob. From what I remember, the only thing he loved more than life itself was his job as a fry cook and cooking them krabby patties.'_

As Hoagie stood at the grill, flipping krabby patties, he sang a song, "K is for kindness that enters the soul and mind, R is for ravishing is your outside,"

"_Yeah, so Hoagie was a wonderful fry cook and about as loyal to the customers as anybody could get.'_ Mr. Krabs explained. _'And best of all…his krabby patties were delectable.'_

When a female customer took a bite out of Hoagie's krabby patty, she got a huge smile and fell onto the floor in faint.

* * *

The flashback stopped for a second as SpongeBob mulled over what he had just heard. He giggled and looked at the spatula. "Well, Hoagie's krabby patties are the tastiest I've ever eaten."

"So what does all that have to do with that 'evil spatula'?" Squidward asked, using air-quotes.

"I was getting to that." Mr. Krabs answered, looking annoyed. "Let me go on."

* * *

Back in the flashback, Mr. Krabs continued narrating, _'As good as Hoagie's patties were, he loved every one he made…And I mean _every _one.'_

This was proven when Hoagie had accidentally burned a krabby patty, yet cuddled it close anyway. Then when a customer threw away his unfinished krabby patty, Hoagie suddenly zipped over to the trashcan and growled at the customer behind his back.

'_Then after a while, the boy became a little _too_ lovable of them. So much that he refused to even sell them to the customers.'_

In the Krusty Krab, a crowd of customers was gathered at the cash register, shouting angrily while Hoagie locked himself in the kitchen, sitting next to the grill and hoarding a handful of krabby patties to himself.

* * *

"That's silly, Mr. Krabs." SpongeBob said. "Krabby patties are meant to be loved and given. The only part better than making them is seeing the look on the customer's face when they take that first bite."

"So what'd you do about him?" Squidward asked, looking more interested.

"Well, I wasn't makin' any money with the way he was actin'," Mr. Krabs explained. "So I fired him."

SpongeBob shrieked in shock while Squidward crossed his arms in disappointment, "And?" he asked.

"Well…" Mr. Krabs answered with a sort of uncomfortable look. "Something in him sort of…snapped. He never was the same after that."

"What did he do after that, Mr. Krabs?" SpongeBob asked anxiously. "Is he still in town? Is he okay?"

"No," Mr. Krabs simply answered. "He died."

"What?" Both SpongeBob and Squidward questioned in shock.

"Aye, lads." Mr. Krabs nodded grimly.

* * *

Mr. Krabs had a flashback that somehow showed Hoagie's spatula hit the floor with a clang presumably after he died. Once it rested on the ground, the spatula glowed green for a second and turned gold with his name disappearing off the handle.

* * *

"Not really sure how he died though." Mr. Krabs pointed out with a shrug. "But all I know is from that day on, his spirit now resides in that spatula, and whoever holds it will become possessed by the greed and obsession he felt until they are completely influenced."

"You know this?" Squidward asked with disbelief.

"Of course." Mr. Krabs replied with a shrug. "I know greed when I see it. It just comes naturally to me for some reason."

SpongeBob had an amazed expression as he looked at the spatula in his hands. But Squidward suddenly snatched it away.

"What a load of baloney." Squidward said in disbelief, waving the spatula around. "A spatula that can do a few magic tricks doesn't make it possessed. If you're really that superstitious, then why not get rid of the thing?"

"You can't, Mr. Squidward." Mr. Krabs said, looking nervous. "It'll just keep coming back."

Squidward just scoffed and turned away. "Just watch." He then marched to the back door and went outside.

Once he was alone outside, he began mumbling to himself. "Those idiots, believing a crazy fry cook is actually in a spatula." Then he held up the spatula and looked at it. "They never listen to what I have to say. They don't even appreciate me. I waste my life in that dump and do I ever get a word of-" but he suddenly stopped and glared at the utensil. "Wait a minute, why the barnacle am I telling you all this?"

Squidward then tossed the spatula in the garbage dump and walked back inside.

When he was back in the kitchen, Squidward crossed his arms and said, "There, no more cursed spatula, problem solved."

"Hey guys," Patrick greeted as he suddenly appeared. "Look what fell out of the sky when I was looking in the dumpster." He held up the treasure that was none other than the cursed golden spatula.

At this, Mr. Krabs screamed in horror as he jumped into SpongeBob's arms. SpongeBob screamed as well just for the heck of it while Squidward shouted, "Will you two shut up?" he snatched the spatula back. "We've just been approaching this the wrong way."

He took both ends of the spatula and attempted to break it in half. He grunted and struggled, but he was not able to even bend it.

"Uh…Squidward?" SpongeBob tried to say. "I don't think you should-"

But Squidward continued to struggle to break the spatula in half as his forehead sweat. But the spatula started to glow green in his hands, and a force was suddenly let out that blew Squidward away and the spatula fell to the ground with a clank.

"That what I've been telling you, Mr. Squidward." Mr. Krabs said as he picked up the spatula. "The only way to be rid of this thing for good is to throw it into the molten lava of the volcano in the Arctic Ocean."

Squidward groaned as he rubbed his head and joined back with the group. "So why haven't you done that before?"

"Well, I did." Mr. Krabs said uneasily. "You know that guy who delivers the buns to the Krusty Krab?"

"Carl?" SpongeBob guessed, thinking he knew who it was he was talking about.

"No, the one who delivers on Tuesday."

"Jack?" Squidward corrected.

"Yeah, him." Mr. Krabs said with a nod. "Well, me and his brother journeyed to the Arctic Ocean to destroy the spatuler. However…its power was just too much for us."

* * *

Another flashback goes into Mr. Krabs's past where he was standing near the edge of a hot volcano in the middle of a baron snow-covered wasteland.

"Now's our chance!" Mr. Krabs yelled to someone. "Throw it in and end its power!"

But an orange middle-aged fish behind him was not paying attention to him and was holding the golden spatula in his hands with a deranged look in his eyes. "No…" he said with a sinister voice. "With this, I can make all the delicious buns I want…and no one will take them from me!"

He laughed maniacally and left as Mr. Krabs stared helplessly.

* * *

Back in the present time, Mr. Krabs was explaining, "He was never the same after that. I think he's still in the nuthouse."

"That's terrible, Mr. Krabs." SpongeBob said, still looking stunned at everything he just heard. "I'm sure if Hoagie's spirit were free from this small imprisonment, he wouldn't harm anyone else with his misery." Then an idea lit in his eyes. "Wait, Mr. Krabs! What if we went to destroy the spatula?"

"What?" Mr. Krabs asked in shock.

"Us?" Squidward also asked, looking angry at the idea. "Travel all the way to the Arctic Ocean just to throw a piece of junk into a volcano? You wish."

"Oh please, Mr. Krabs!" SpongeBob begged as he got on his knees. "We found Hoagie's spatula. It's a sign that it's now our duty to finally put him to rest before he makes anyone else feel his sadness."

"Or we can just put it back where you found it and pretend we never saw the thing." Squidward pointed out.

However, they ignored Squidward's suggestions, and Mr. Krabs put an arm around SpongeBob. "You're absolutely right, lad. That thing has haunted me for far too long. Now is the chance for all of us to destroy that thing once and for all." Then he shouted out loud, "Alright, boys! Pack your bags! We're going on a perilous journey first thing tomorrow mornin'!"

"Whoo-hoo!" SpongeBob cheered with his fists in the air.

"Well, count me out." Squidward said, crossing his arms. "I'm not going half-way across the ocean for a stupid spatula."

"Sorry, Mr. Squidward," Mr. Krabs told him. "You either go or you're fired."

He walked away, leaving Squidward steaming with anger. SpongeBob turned to his best friend, Patrick, and asked, "So how about it, Pat? You wanna come with us on a dangerous adventure to throw a cursed spatula in a volcano?"

"Hmm…" Patrick thought for a second. "Will there be plenty of adventure food to eat?"

"You bet." SpongeBob then put his arm around Patrick and playfully punched him in the stomach. "We even have a spatula who can cook for us." He whispered in excitement.

Patrick then threw his arms up in the air. "Then I'm in!" he shouted excitedly.

The two friends cheered and ran off, presumably to prepare for the long journey tomorrow. But what no one noticed was that someone had heard their entire conversation.

* * *

From across the street at the Chum Bucket, a huge telescope was spying on the Krusty Krab. From inside, Plankton looked away from it and thought about everything he heard.

"A golden spatula, eh?" Plankton said to himself with a smile. "One that can cook krabby patties on its own; and krabby patties that tastes even better than the ones made by its own maker?" He then laughed evilly. "That spatula is as good as mine!"

"Plankton," Karen, his computer wife, said. "Why bother stealing some old spatula? Why not just go to the Krusty Krab and steal the formula while Krabs is away?"

"Don't you see, Karen?" Plankton explained. "With that spatula, I won't need to push myself to steal the secret formula. With that spatula's power, I can get my own even better krabby patties that can run Krabs out of business. Since he's on his way to destroy the thing anyway, it'll be secure in my hands."

"Unless you forget the fact that it's possessed by an insane fry cook that will curse whoever dares to lay a hand on it."

"Blah, blah, blah," Plankton just scoffed. "I don't believe in those silly curses. Besides, with my intellect and mastermind skills, I don't need to worry about some made up curse." Then he began to walk off. "See ya in a couple of weeks, honey!"

_Looks like it's time to go on an adventure to destroy the cursed spatula before it possesses anyone else. But it looks like Krabs, SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward aren't the only ones going to the Arctic. Hope you review what you think so far, and keep an eye out for the next chapter._


	3. Chapter 3: Company Road Trip

_Here's the next chapter of Keeper of the Spatula. This chapter is a reference to all the painful car and hiking trips some of us have had. And my story's on TV Tropes? Wow! I never thought this would happen. I'm glad that everyone is already enjoying this story, and there'll be more excitement to come in later chapters._

_Enjoy…_

Chapter 3: Company Road Trip

The next morning, SpongeBob, Patrick, Mr. Krabs, and Squidward left to begin their journey to the Arctic Ocean to destroy the cursed spatula of Hoagie Grindulas in the volcano. They were now sailing across the sea on a small tugboat that was supposed to take them to the first spot on their journey.

Mr. Krabs was standing on the bow with a fancy walking stick in his right claw. Squidward was standing next to him, wearing a large knapsack.

"This is the boat you rented that's supposed to take us to where we're supposed to go to destroy the spatula?" Squidward asked in a disappointed tone.

"What?" Mr. Krabs asked with a shrug. "It was the cheapest one I could get."

From the top of the tugboat, a large pipe was releasing black smoke as it sailed from the water. Then Mr. Krabs got close to Squidward and whispered, "Besides, Mr. Squidward…with the four of us, getting to that volcano is snap."

"And letting SpongeBob carry the spatula is a good idea?" Squidward questioned.

While the tugboat continued to pollute the air with smoke from its pipe, SpongeBob and Patrick were standing at the stern of the boat. SpongeBob was still wearing his Krusty Krab hat as well as a small travel pack while Patrick wore a mini fridge on his back.

"Isn't this exciting, Patrick?" SpongeBob asked as he jumped up and down. "It's like a vacation, only with exhausted traveling."

"You said it, pal." Patrick replied with a smile. "I haven't been this far from home since last Tuesday."

"Wow, where'd you go?"

"The mailbox." Patrick simply replied as SpongeBob got an odd look.

"Land ho!" a voice called out as the boat pulled up to a dock next to spot of land that had a forest.

SpongeBob, Patrick, Squidward, and Mr. Krabs got off the boat as the captain began to sail away.

"That's it?" Squidward asked with a frown. "You mean we're supposed to walk the rest of the way?"

"Of course." Mr. Krabs answered like it was nothing. "You know how much it would cost to take a boat all the way from Bikini Bottom to the Arctic Ocean? Besides, a little walking will do ya some good." then he turned to SpongeBob. "You still got the goods?"

SpongeBob immediately pulled out the golden spatula. "Right here, sir!"

"Good boy!" Mr. Krabs then looked at the map in his claws. "Now all we have to do is just take this path right into town."

They all look down to see they were right on top of the path that leads into the forest. SpongeBob cheered and began to walk ahead, "Arctic volcano, here we come!" but then Mr. Krabs grabbed his shoulder to stop him.

"Whoa, hold on a second there, lad." His boss was saying. "As navigator of this here journey, I'll be the one leading the way."

"Oh, how silly of me." SpongeBob said with a giggle. "Go right ahead, navigator."

Mr. Krabs went ahead while looking at the map, leaving SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward to follow behind. "Well, as I was saying, arctic volcano here we come!" SpongeBob shouted as he began walking.

As the group followed the path, they began to head deeper and deeper into the forest. Patrick sighed and said, "SpongeBob…I'm bored."

"Now that you mention it, I am too." SpongeBob said in the same tone. But then he perked up, "I know what we can do! How about a song?"

"A song? Really?" Patrick asked, also excited over the idea.

"Yeah! I know just the song to sing on long trips like this one." SpongeBob cleared his throat and began singing loudly, "_Ninety-nine bottles of kelp juice on the wall, ninety-nine bottles of kelp juice…_"

Squidward cringed in anger, highly irritated by having to listen to SpongeBob's singing. But the sponge, of course, didn't take the hint and just continued singing merrily, "_You take one down, pass it around, ninety-eight bottles of kelp juice on the wall!_"

He pointed at Patrick, and the starfish took off from where he had left off, "_Ninety-eight bottles of kelp juice on the wall, ninety-eight bottles of kelp juice…_"

Squidward repeatedly banged on the sides of his head, hoping to drown out their singing. "_You take one down, pass it around…nine…fi…forty…_"

SpongeBob helped him out by whispering, "Ninety-seven."

"Oh! _Ninety-seven bottles of kelp juice on the wall!_"

SpongeBob began singing the next line, "_Ninety-seven bottles of kelp juice on the wall, ninety-seven bottles of kelp juice! You take one down, pass it around, ninety-six bottles of kelp juice on the wall!_"

"_Ninety-six bottles of kelp juice on the wall, ninety-six bottles of kelp juice! You take one down, pass it around, ninety_….twel…seventy-seven, no…"

(Thirty bottles of kelp juice later.)

Squidward's eyes looked ready to fall out of his sockets from all the listening he had to endure from SpongeBob and Patrick's singing the past hour as they continued down the long 'painful' path.

"_Sixty-five bottles of kelp juice!_" SpongeBob sang at the top of his lungs, "_You take one down, pass it around, sixty-four bottles of kelp juice on the wall!_" he pointed at Patrick for his signal.

Then the starfish took off from that part, "_Sixty-four bottles of kelp juice on the wall, sixty-four bottles of kelp juice! You take one down, pass it around…_Uh…Sixty…twenty-billion…Oh, this song is hard, why does it have to be backwards?"

SpongeBob put his arm around Patrick and happily replied, "It's okay, Patrick. We can sing something else. I know, how about the reverse version on the song!"

"Oh, okay." Patrick happily agreed with a nod. "That sounds easy."

"Then let's start over from one bottle of kelp juice on the wall!" SpongeBob cleared his throat and began singing, "_One bottle of kelp juice on the wall, one bottle of kelp juice, you pick one up, put it up high-_"

"NOOO!" Squidward yelled over them as he panted heavily, looking rather steamed. "We are not starting from one, we are not starting from zero, we are not gonna start from ninety-nine!"

While Squidward stopped for a moment to catch his breath, Patrick merely asked, "Can we start from fifty?"

Squidward got even angrier and shouted, "MR. KRABS!"

Just then, Mr. Krabs stopped and removed his earphones that were connected to a walkman he was listening to. He turned around and asked, "Did you say something, Squidward?"

Squidward, SpongeBob, and Patrick rushed over to him, and the octopus asked, "Mr. Krabs, how long until we at least reach civilization?"

"You need patience, Mr. Squidward." Mr. Krabs proudly answered as he held the map. "Arctic Ocean ain't exactly next door."

SpongeBob looked ahead of the road and noticed something. "Hey look. There's a fork in the road."

"Where?" Patrick asked as he looked on the ground. "Keep away from it, it's mine! I saw it first!"

The other two saw SpongeBob was right, and look to see two paths that led in different directions.

"Well, Christopher Crustacean," Squidward started saying to Mr. Krabs in a sarcastic tone. "Which way are we supposed to go now?"

"Uh, let's see here." Mr. Krabs looked back at the map and said, "Well…I suppose we just have to, um…"

But Squidward swiftly snatched the map away and looked at it himself. He was surprised by what he saw. "Mr. Krabs! This map is totally out of date!"

"How is that?" Mr. Krabs asked with a shrug. "I had for about forty years. The world hasn't changed in that long."

"You idiot!" Squidward yelled. "Don't you realize what you've done?"

"Hey, that's no way to speak to your commanding officer!"

SpongeBob quickly got between them. "You shouldn't be fighting like this. We can just stop and ask someone for directions."

"Ask who? The trees?" Squidward asked with a glare. "In case you haven't noticed, we're stuck in the middle of nowhere, far from any civilization."

"Well, how about that guy?" Patrick asked, pointing off to the right.

The others follow his finger and see an eerie black-cloaked figure on a green seahorse, standing on top of an equally eerie large hill. From the look of his appearance, they could tell that he didn't look friendly enough to help them.

Mr. Krabs tried as hard as he could to hide his nervousness. "Well, that's perfect. We can just ask him which direction to go."

"I don't know, Mr. Krabs." SpongeBob said in an unsure tone as he shook his head. "He doesn't look too friendly."

"I agree." Squidward also said, nervously. "Let's just head the other way and forget we ever saw him."

Then Mr. Krabs started sweating. "Don't be such a snail, Squidward. Just go over and ask him."

However, Patrick was the one who decided to make the move. "HEY MISTER!" he called over to the figure. "WE'RE LOST! CAN YOU SHOW US THE WAY OUTTA HERE?"

After hearing him, the cloaked figure turned his head toward them, and from their view of him, he appeared to have piercing red eyes from under his hood.

The four yelp in fright and shiver in terror. "Who do you think he is?" SpongeBob asked in fright.

"Oh no," Mr. Krabs gasped. "He must be one of those personal belongin' thieves I hear about on the news all the time. He's gonna wanna steal that spatula."

"A guy dressed like that and you're worried about the spatula?" Squidward asked, equally scared.

The figure pulled on the reigns of the seahorse, and it whinnied loudly into the sky before galloping down the hill toward their direction. The four scream at the top of their lungs before Mr. Krabs yelled, "RUN!"

They both head down the left path and run as fast as they can with the cloaked figure following them on his seahorse. As the four ran through the forest, they all split up with SpongeBob going in one direction, Patrick going in another, and Squidward and Mr. Krabs running one way.

SpongeBob climbed over tree roots and panted in exhaustion as he hid behind a tree and saw the cloaked figure ride past him.

* * *

Mr. Krabs and Squidward stopped to catch their breath once they were sure they had lost the cloaked figure. "I think we lost him, Squidward." Mr. Krabs said as he panted.

"Yeah…" Squidward also said in the same way. "And luckily we lost SpongeBob and Patrick too."

"Wait a minute…" Mr. Krabs suddenly remembered. "SpongeBob has the spatula! Where is he?"

"How should I know?" Squidward replied bitterly. "Watching SpongeBob wasn't my first priority when being chased by a lunatic."

"Hey guys." Patrick greeted as he walked over. "I don't wanna alarm you, but…I don't think that guy chasing us is gonna tell us where to go."

"Patrick," Mr. Krabs said in a desperate tone. "Have you seen SpongeBob anywhere?"

"No, I thought he ran away with you."

* * *

Meanwhile, SpongeBob was still running around, trying to find his way back to the others. "Oh, tartar sauce, where are they?" he asked until he momentarily stopped running.

He reached into his pocket and pulled out the golden spatula. "I wonder why he would want something like this."

But then he felt a puff of warm air on the back of his neck, and he turned around and saw it was the green seahorse with the cloaked figure on it. SpongeBob screamed in horror and ran away just as the figure took a swipe at him.

SpongeBob pocketed the spatula and kept running until he slipped down a small hill under a large tree. He sat up and noticed he had landed right on top of Squidward, Mr. Krabs, and Patrick.

"Guys!" SpongeBob cried happily. "I found you!"

"Great, you found us, NOW GET OFF!" Squidward yelled.

SpongeBob quickly obeyed, and once everyone was up, they heard the winey of the seahorse coming closer to them. "He's coming this way." SpongeBob franticly noticed.

"What'll we do?" Patrick asked in fright.

Up on the hill, the cloaked figure jumped off his seahorse and walked over to the edge of the hill. He stood by the tree and looked around, not realizing that Patrick, SpongeBob, Squidward, and Mr. Krabs were all huddled together, hiding under the tree roots beneath the hill.

The four shivered in fright as the figure crouched down by the edge of the hill, looking around for them. During which, SpongeBob grabbed Patrick's hand for comfort.

The figure seemed to sniff around also as if he smelled something, unknowingly approaching closer to the four beneath. SpongeBob quietly reached into his pocket and pulled out the golden spatula. It shook in his hand as it began to glow. This seemed to almost catch the attention of the figure, but Squidward quickly placed his tentacle over it and stopped SpongeBob from activating it.

Afterwards, the cloaked figure stood up and walked back to his seahorse, getting on it and riding away. Once he was long gone, SpongeBob, Patrick, Squidward, and Mr. Krabs came out of their hiding spot.

"Oh, Neptune…that was close." SpongeBob said as he shivered in fright.

"Uh huh," Patrick also said as he held SpongeBob. "I've never been so scared in all my life."

"Well, this is just great." Squidward said with an angry frown. "Now we got a homicidal maniac on our tails. What are we supposed to do?"

Mr. Krabs walked back along the path and smiled. "Hey, now I remember. This old path leads to a town a couple miles from here."

"Really?" SpongeBob asked with an excited smile.

"Of course." Mr. Krabs held out the map. "See? It's right here."

"That map is forty-years-old." Squidward pointed out. "How do we know the town is still there?"

"Would you rather stay here with a black cloak-wearin' maniac runnin' around?"

He, SpongeBob, and Patrick began to walk down the path, leaving Squidward to stand there until he growled in frustration and eventually followed them.

_Where will the path take them now? And who is that scary figure chasing after them? Please review and the next chapter will be up soon._

_Also, the name of the deceased fry cook "Hoagie Grindulas" is a play on "Hoagie Grinder" which is the name of a type of sandwich. But the last name is pronounced differently from the source._


	4. Chapter 4: Pit Stop

_Here's the next chapter of "Keeper of the Spatula". Last time, SpongeBob and co. were on their way to a town nearby for them to stop at._

_Enjoy… _

Chapter 4: Pit Stop

Later that same day, night had already fallen, and even storm clouds had rolled in and were now pouring rain. Unfortunately for the group of SpongeBob, Patrick, Squidward, and Mr. Krabs, they were caught in it and walking down a muddy path.

Squidward was holding his travel pack over his head to shield himself from the rain. "I can't believe that knowing I would be traveling hundreds of miles to a freezing wasteland; I forgot to bring an umbrella."

"Ah, don't be such a whiner, Squidward." Mr. Krabs said with a calm smile. "A little rain is good for the traveling types. You just have to have a thicker outdoor exterior like me." He looked up and shouted, "Keep at it, lad!"

He was actually holding SpongeBob by his legs, and he has stretched out his body over Mr. Krabs to shield him from the rain at his own request. "You got it, Mr. Krabs!" SpongeBob replied happily, not minding the job at all.

"It doesn't help that we've been walking for six hours with no sign of civilization." Squidward complained as he glanced behind him to see Patrick just walking with his mouth wide open and his tongue hanging out that caught raindrops on it.

Soon, Mr. Krabs stopped when he spotted something up ahead. "Hey, look at that."

The others followed his gaze as SpongeBob shaped himself back to normal and hopped on the ground. Up ahead was a small town through a wooden gate.

"Finally…" Squidward said with a relieved smile. "Civilization!" He then wasted no time in running ahead excitedly as he laughed, "WHOO-HOO!"

"I never knew Squidward loved sight-seeing so much." SpongeBob said to Mr. Krabs and Patrick.

Soon, the four walked through a door with a bell ringing as soon as they opened it, and they see it looks like a pub with a round counter in the middle and a bartender standing behind it with a round set of shelves containing a bunch of drinks. The room was full of tough-looking and dirty, sleazy men conversing with each other at tables and booths.

"Now this looks like a nice place to relax for a bit- and as I remember, it not too expensive either." Mr. Krabs pointed out with a smile.

"Right…" Squidward sarcastically mumbled as he rolled his eyes. "This place makes Bikini Bottom look like Atlantis."

"But let me warn you boys right now." Mr. Krabs suddenly said in a serious tone. "Don't go mentionin' the you-know-what. There are certainly a lot of sneaky thieves who'd love to get their hands on something that valuable, so zip your mouths shut." Then his mood suddenly changed to cheerful. "Well, I'm gonna go get meself a drink."

When Mr. Krabs walked off, Squidward shouted after him, "Don't forget an up-to-date map too!"

"I'm gonna go buy some dinner." Patrick eagerly pointed out.

"Oh, sounds great." SpongeBob replied. "Bring me back something."

"You got it, pal." Patrick said with a wink as he walked off

"I'm gonna go find somewhere to sit till we get out of this dump." Squidward said in a dour tone as he walked off.

"Sounds great too, I'll join you." SpongeBob said with a smile as he followed.

Squidward took a seat at a booth in the corner of the bar, and SpongeBob took a seat across from him. Squidward laid his elbow on the table and rested his head in his palm, looking bored while SpongeBob just sat there with the same giddy smile.

"Isn't this great so far, Squidward?" SpongeBob asked happily. "To think we're getting closer to the volcano."

"Great?" Squidward questioned in anger. "This is a nightmare! I'm stuck with you idiots just to throw a spatula into a pit of lava; and in case you haven't realized yet, we're nowhere near the Arctic Ocean!"

"Shhh!" SpongeBob loudly whispered. "We're not supposed to mention the item out loud, remember?"

"Whatever." Squidward mumbled as he lay back in his previous position. "Everybody's too boozed in here to even pay attention to other people's conversations anyway."

SpongeBob sighed and started running his fingernail against the wooden table. "But you know what, Squidward?" He said in a somewhat depressed tone. "I know we're doing the right thing for Hoagie Grindulas by freeing his soul from his container, but I'm kinda gonna miss him after this. He makes such great krabby patties, and he loves them just like me. If we could work together at the Krusty Krab, we can make the most delicious patties for everyone in Bikini Bottom to eat."

Squidward tried as hard as he could to block out SpongeBob's rambling, but then he glanced up at him and noticed his face looked more lost in la-la land than it usually did.

"I know he was greedy, but he was just thinking of the krabby patties. Plus holding the spatula in my hands makes me feel like he's right here with me." As SpongeBob explained this, he was actually holding Hoagie's golden spatula in his right hand that was hidden under the table, and seemed to be absent-mindedly tapping it on his lap. "Just seeing that metal touch the patty as it sizzles on the grill just makes my heart melt."

As Squidward stared at SpongeBob's dreamy expression, he raised an eyebrow and asked, "Uh…SpongeBob? Are you feeling alright?"

SpongeBob then shook his head and snapped back to normal. "Of course I am, Squidward. I just got a little spacey for a second, ha ah ah ah ah!"

"Of course," Squidward groaned as he went back to ignoring the sponge.

"SpongeBob?" The two heard Patrick's voice say, and they turn to see him sitting at the front counter, talking to a bunch of thug-looking fish. "Yeah, he's my best friend. He has a golden spatula he's taking to throw into a volcano."

"Gold?" the crowd all asked as they stared toward SpongeBob.

Then the mob of thugs started advancing toward SpongeBob's table with their hands held out intent on taking the valuable item he has. Squidward quickly left his seat while SpongeBob stood up on his seat with the spatula held in his hand.

"Get him!" One of the fish says as they all gain up on SpongeBob as the sponge quickly hops on the table before they can grab him.

When the fish try and grab him again, SpongeBob jumps away in the air and swings on a chandelier hanging from the ceiling; but unfortunately, his fingers slip off and he falls down onto the hardwood floor.

SpongeBob groaned as he rubbed his head, but quickly noticed he was no longer holding the spatula. He looked up and saw the spatula still twirling in the air from when he lost grip of it. The thugs notice this and stare in awe as the spatula fell toward the ground and SpongeBob quickly caught it in his hand.

But once he did, the golden spatula glows an eerie green and suddenly all the food the glass bottles full of liquid explode with glass flying everywhere. Then all the food in the building started to fly across the room and hit various people.

* * *

Outside, a green seahorse entered the town and stopped just when it entered through the gate. Riding the seahorse was none other than the figure in the black cloak that pursued SpongeBob and his friends earlier in the afternoon.

He looked ahead to see flashing green lights coming from the pub near the end of the town; and he sat there silently as he stared at the strange phenomenon.

* * *

Back in the bar, SpongeBob was hiding under a table to avoid being splattered with the flying food. Patrick joined him under the table as well.

"Was it something I said?" Patrick asked with a confused look.

"No, Patrick, it wasn't your fault." SpongeBob said in a comforting tone as he held his friend's shoulder.

"Are you kidding?" Squidward asked angrily as he crouched under the table as well. "It was totally his fault. Why did you have to blab to everyone about the spatula?"

"I didn't tell them anything important." Patrick retorted. "I specifically left out the part that it was cursed."

"What are we gonna do?" SpongeBob wondered, seeing no possible way to sneak past the panicking crowd.

"We have to find Mr. Krabs and get out of here as soon as possible." Squidward answered, and then began crawling away. "Let's go."

SpongeBob and Patrick followed him as the three crawled their way out beneath the flying food and the panicking crowd. Mr. Krabs then walked in and asked with a smile, "What'd I miss?"

"Run!" Squidward yelled as he pushed Mr. Krabs out of the bar with SpongeBob and Patrick.

Once they were safely outside the chaotic bar, they noticed it had stopped raining in the dark eerie town. "Man, that was close." SpongeBob said as he looked back.

"You know this place has gone really downhill since I was here last." Mr. Krabs noticed.

"Yeah, how very unfortunate." Squidward quickly responded in a sarcastic tone. "Now did you get a map?"

"Course I did, Squidward." Mr. Krabs answered with a grin as he pulled it out. "Now all we gotta do is figure out which way leads to the woods."

"We can always try asking that guy again." Patrick suggested as he pointed in one direction.

Everybody followed his gaze to see it was the figure in the black cloak on his seahorse, staring at them. Seeing him, they all screamed in horror.

"It's him again!" SpongeBob screamed at the top of his lungs.

"Run, boys, run!" Mr. Krabs yelled as they all obey and run as fast as they can while the figure's seahorse whinnied and followed.

As they run, the figure's seahorse was quickly catching up to them. SpongeBob looked around and spotted a barrel up ahead. He quickly ran over to it and knocked it down, kicking it toward the seahorse. This caused him to stop, allowing the four to escape as he stood there and watched them run toward the woods outside of town.

* * *

Up on a hill above the town, SpongeBob, Patrick, Squidward, and Mr. Krabs were standing at the entrance of the forest, catching their breath after running all the way from town to escape their pursuer.

"That was close…again." SpongeBob said as he stretched his back.

"I don't know how much more of this I can take." Squidward said in an exhausted tone. "Are we even on the right trail anymore?"

"Here's a sign." Patrick said as he stood in front of a wooden sign sticking out of the ground, and began to read the large red print 'Muerto Woods', "Moo…err…too…Woods."

Mr. Krabs looked at his map and smiled, "We are on the right path!" he cheered, jumping up and down. "We just have to pass these here woods and we'll be gettin' closer."

"Just as long as there aren't any more dangers up ahead." Squidward added with a groan.

"There's something else written here too." Patrick pointed out, and then struggled to read the extra print at the bottom of the sign, "War…neeee…"

SpongeBob walked over and stood next to him as he looked at the sign. "Here, let me help you out there, bud." He ran his finger across the print and read out loud, "It says, 'Warning: Woods inhabited by Black Toxicity Jellyfish. Please use caution when approaching.'"

He then stopped after reading this and turned to Patrick with a stunned look as his body shook, "Patrick…do you know what this means?"

Patrick got the same expression and shook also as he replied, "You're not saying…"

Then they both hopped into the air with large smiles on their faces. "We found it!" they shouted in joy.

"Found what?" Squidward asked.

"The rare Black Toxicity Jellyfish." SpongeBob explained to Squidward and Mr. Krabs, "This is one of the only few places you can find them."

"Only few experienced jellyfishers have been able to see them with their own eyes." Patrick explained also.

"Why do they even call that…thing you called it before?" Mr. Krabs asked, looking curious.

"Because unlike our normal jellyfish, Black Toxicities are known to be extremely dangerous," SpongeBob continued explaining, "Its stingers are very poisonous. Even one little sting can be fatal. If you are stung, you'll only have twenty minutes to live before…" he ran a finger across his neck as he made a hissing sound through his teeth.

Squidward and Mr. Krabs looked disturbed by this explanation while SpongeBob finished his gesture. But then the sponge smile and pointed to a book Patrick was holding up that had a small picture of a black jellyfish with red spots. "We need one for our bingo book." SpongeBob pointed out.

"Well, aside from Nerd History from Professor Doofinstein, let's just keep going so we can get through these woods already." Squidward suggested as he began walking into the woods.

"Great idea, Squidward." Mr. Krabs quickly agreed as he followed. "I'll be leading the way of course."

SpongeBob and Patrick followed from behind, looking really eager as they entered the woods. "You think we'll see the Black Toxicity, SpongeBob?" Patrick asked his best friend.

"I sure hope so." SpongeBob replied in an excited tone. "You remembered to bring your camera, right?"

"I sure did."

"Great! It'll be the best stop on our adventure."

_Doesn't sound like the friendliest place to go in- but then again, anyplace with jellyfish sounds friendly to SpongeBob and Patrick. Please review and the next chapter will be up soon._


	5. Chapter 5: Campfire Funnies

_Hey there, I now bring you the next chapter of "Keeper of the Spatula". Not really much to say about this chapter other than it has SpongeBob, Patrick, Squidward, and Mr. Krabs being their usual selves we all love._

_Enjoy…_

Chapter 5: Campfire Funnies

Out on the nighttime ocean, a ship was sailing through the dark waters with a familiar one-eyed single-cell organism standing at the bow.

"I feel like king of the world." Plankton said with an excited smile. "Or at least I will once I get that golden spatula. Soon, I will have even better krabby patties than Krabs could ever produce."

Then he gave an evil chuckle. "Ooh, I haven't felt this excited since the day I started going after that secret formula." Then he got a confused look. "In fact, I feel more rushed to get that spatula more than I thought. I wonder why."

He growled angrily. "That settles it! Next stop, I'm getting off this slow-moving crate and finding those idiots on foot." Then he smirked and rubbed his hands together. "You better watch out, Krabs. That precious spatula will be all mine."

* * *

Meanwhile, in the Muerto Woods, Mr. Krabs and his employees (including Patrick) had walked through the woods for hours and eventually decided to rest for the night. They made camp on a small stone cliff-side, free from any wildlife they didn't want to encounter in the forest.

Everything was dark and blurry at first until the camera zoomed in on Squidward sitting on a rock in front of a campfire, roasting a weenie on the flames with a bored expression. At the lower right corner was the word "Rec" in red. Then Patrick's voice shouted, "Hey, Squidward! I can see you!"

Squidward noticed the camera pointed at his face and he frowned angrily. "Get that thing out of my face, Patrick!"

The camera quickly shifted away from Squidward and stopped on Mr. Krabs who was snuggling his cash register. "You didn't like being stuffed in that cramped travelin' bag, did ya, Cashie?" Mr. Krabs said to the cash register in a babyish voice.

The camera then zoomed in on him as Mr. Krabs continued to converse with the cash register, "Well, I couldn't just leave ya back at the Krusty Krab with no company and no one to protect your money, could I?" then he looked up and noticed the camera focused on him. His eyes widen and he hoards the cash register. "Hey, hey, hey!" he shouted. "There's a law about videotaping someone's private conversations!"

Then he shifts the camera away and turns it right onto SpongeBob who was sitting on the log next to Patrick, blowing the fire off of a weenie on a stick he was holding.

"Hi, SpongeBob." Patrick greeted as the sponge noticed the camcorder pointing him.

SpongeBob shrieked and tossed the weenie away until he blushed and started acting shy. "Oh, Patrick…if I had known I'd be videotaped, I would've freshened up a bit."

"SpongeBob!" Patrick said in a disappointed tone. "You have to say something to the video camera or this whole trip will be a total bust!"

"Ooh, a video log. Okay, just give me a minute." SpongeBob looked away from the camera and coughed in his fist to clear his throat. Then he inhaled through his nose and took a deep breath before acknowledging the camera again. "Good evening. My name is SpongeBob SquarePants. And I am here with my best friend and camera man, Patrick Star."

Patrick turned the camera upward and gave a close-up smile and chuckle into the camera lens. Then turned it back to SpongeBob, "And here also is our good friend, Squidward Tentacles." The camera pointed back at Squidward, who tried his best to ignore them.

"And the man behind the journey, Mr. Krabs." The camera went over to Krabs, who quickly stopped cuddling his cash register and gave the camera a nervous giggle.

Then the camera pointed back to SpongeBob, who happily continued to narrate, "Here we are after Day 1 of our perilous journey to the Arctic Ocean. We are still days away from our goal to throw this lovely golden spatula into the hot volcano." He took out his golden spatula to show it off. "That's because inside this spatula is the trapped soul of a deceased fellow fry cook, Hoagie Grindulas. Say hi to the folks back home, Hoagie." He giddily waved the spatula to the camera. "He's supposed to be evil. But I think he's a misunderstood fry cook, who makes delicious krabby patties- and I mean delicious."

"SpongeBob!" Patrick interrupted angrily as he lowered the camera. "You need to put more feeling into it."

SpongeBob wasn't sure what he did wrong, but he lightheartedly attempted to change the subject. "Well, how about I film you this time? After all, we need shots of the camera man too."

"Oh, okay." Patrick happily agreed and handed SpongeBob the camcorder. "How do I look?"

SpongeBob looked through the camcorder and gave him a thumb-up and answered with a smile, "Like a million clamshells."

Patrick chuckled and said, "All right! I always remember what to say."

SpongeBob continued to film Patrick. "Say hi to the people, Patrick- and don't forget to give me a _big_ smile."

But suddenly, Patrick got a nervous look and started to sweat, "Uh…uh…uh…" he stammered. "I forgot my line!" he yelled in panic.

"How about putting that thing away." Squidward dourly suggested. "In case you're too stupid to remember, we aren't on some pleasure cruise. As much as I wish we were."

SpongeBob lowered the camera from his eye and responded, "Well, what do you think we should do, Squidward. Sing campfire songs? Tell ghost stories?"

"Oh! Oh! Oh!" Patrick shouted, waving his hand in the air. "I got a story to tell!"

"Really, Patrick?" SpongeBob asked with a smile. "Let's hear it."

"Okay," Patrick nodded and began to tell his scary story. "Once upon a time…there was a scary ghost. He was so scary that whenever someone looked at him, they died."

SpongeBob shrieked in fright, but Squidward just rolled his eyes. But Patrick just continued with his story, "No one knew how to defeat him, so the ghost flew into town and scared everyone to death. The End."

"Ohhhh…that really was a scary ghost story." SpongeBob said with a scared look.

"It was scary, alright." Squidward said dully, not even looking frightened.

"And kinda sad." SpongeBob added, now looking depressed.

"Well, duh, of course it was." Patrick said, looking offended. "If it had a happy ending, then it wouldn't be a ghost story."

"Well, if you're lookin' for a yarn to spin, I got one." Mr. Krabs yearningly intervened.

"No thanks, Mr. Krabs." Patrick said, shaking his head. "I'm not really the knitting-type."

Mr. Krabs had an annoyed look and said, "Let me rephrase that. I got a scary story to tell."

"Wow, really?" SpongeBob asked excitedly.

"Aye, aye. This one is about where we be headed: The Arctic Ocean."

"NO! NO!" Patrick yelled in horror. "Not the Arctic Ocean! Anything but the Arctic Ocean!"

"Shh, shh, shh." SpongeBob shushed gently as he placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. "It's okay, Patrick. It'll help when we get to the Arctic Ocean, so we'll know what to expect."

Patrick eventually calmed down and gave a nod and barely audible, "Okay."

Mr. Krabs then began to tell his tale, "From here to the Arctic Ocean. The dangers are nowhere near as devastating as the ones there."

"Dangers?" Squidward questioned, raising an eyebrow until SpongeBob and Patrick loudly shush him.

Mr. Krabs continued, "The Arctic Ocean is a treacherous wasteland; nothing but wind full of the ice and snow that cover ground you step in. But once you cross that frozen tundra, you find all the cold disappear as you approach the wretched volcano. The first step on the top is like walking straight into Davey Jones's Locker. Its mouth unleashing smoke and its belly full of hot magma and fire. Once something goes in…it never comes out…uncooked."

As Squidward stared in awe, and SpongeBob and Patrick clutching each other in fear; Mr. Krabs suddenly stood up and grinned, "And that's why we are throwing that cursed spatula into the mouth, argh, argh, argh, argh, argh!" he laughed.

SpongeBob and Patrick glance at each other and reluctantly laugh along too.

Mr. Krabs then grabbed his cash register and announced, "Well, you all better get some shut eye. We get up first thing in the mornin' to continue on."

"If only I was a morning person." Squidward said as he stood up and walked over to his resting spot.

As Patrick stood up with a yawn, SpongeBob walked over to his travel pack, and lay down while secretly looking at the spatula in his hands, looking a bit unsure.

"If only we didn't have to throw you into a volcano, Hoagie." He quietly said to the spatula. "But if it'll free your soul, it's for the best." He kissed the spatula goodnight and went to sleep with a smile on his face.

_I know it wasn't really much, but enjoy the peacefulness while you still can because the next chapter is when things get really chaotic. Remember where they are. Please review and tell me what you think._


	6. Chapter 6: Sting of Death

_Here's the next exciting chapter of "Keeper of the Spatula". SpongeBob and co. are still the in Muerto Woods- it doesn't have that name for nothing. I had a lot of fun with this chapter, hope you can take all the eccentricity that occurs._

_Enjoy…_

Chapter 6: Sting of Death

A couple hours later, everyone was fast asleep around the campfire. Mr. Krabs resting on the ground with his cash register in his arms as drool leaked from his mouth, Patrick was snoring loudly with his head resting on a large rock, and Squidward was laying on his travel pack while curled up in a fetal position with a purple sleep blinder over his eyes.

But soon the cephalopod was interrupted by someone poking his head. "Squidward…" a small quiet voice whispered.

Squidward's face scrunched up in his sleep as he groaned, but he proceeded to sleep soundly until the yellow hand began to poke his nose this time to wake him up.

It was SpongeBob as he whispered a bit louder, "Squidward…"

Squidward groaned again as he reluctantly responded, "…What is it, SpongeBob?" though it was unsure if he were awake or not due to the blinder covering his eyes

"Squidward?" SpongeBob whispered quietly in his ear, "Do you know where the bathroom is?"

"Ugh…what?" Squidward groaned again with an annoyed tone as he pulled up his blinder to show his sleeping face.

"I have to go to the bathroom." SpongeBob whispered again in his ear.

"SpongeBob…" Squidward responded annoyed as he kept his eyes shut in order to sleep. "We're in the middle of the woods, far away from any sign of civilization. There is no bathroom."

SpongeBob blinked a few times in confusion, and then whispered back, "But I really have to go."

Squidward yawned and lowered his blinder before moving onto his side and responding, "Just go in a bush…far away from here as possible."

SpongeBob seemed confused by the idea, but ultimately just shrugged and smiled as he replied, "Okay."

Then he walked away, leaving Squidward to return to his beauty sleep.

* * *

SpongeBob walked through the dark woods, looking for a good place to do his business. He soon stopped in front a large bush next to a couple of trees. "Okay…how is this done again?"

As SpongeBob racked his brain for all the movies and shows he's seen with campers and hikers who didn't have a porta potty nearby, he failed to notice something moving in the bushes behind him.

"Oh yeah," he said, snapping his fingers with a smile.

When he stood directly in front of the bush and unzipped his fly, he turned his head around to see the bushes behind him rustling. He pulled his zipper back up and turned around to see what it was.

"Umm…" he said nervously. "This place is kinda taken, so maybe you should…"

But then a loud buzzing sound was heard behind it, and the bushes spread apart as something floated through them. SpongeBob's eyes widen to see a large jellyfish (twice the size of a regular jellyfish) that was black with red spots on top.

"I don't believe it." SpongeBob whispered in awe. "It's Black Toxicity!"

As the jellyfish floated there in front of him, SpongeBob attempted to approach it. "Hello, majestic, foreign jellyfish of the wild." He greeted with a smile. "My name is SpongeBob. Would you like to meet my friend, Patrick, so we can get a picture of you for our bingo book?"

But as the jellyfish floated there, buzzing, it finally acknowledged SpongeBob, and lifted up its stinger. This causes SpongeBob to get a panicked look on his face.

"No, wait, Great One! I just-" but before he could try and explain, the jellyfish unleashes a zap from its stinger, and SpongeBob ducks just in time to avoid.

The jellyfish then let out another blast with its stinger which SpongeBob tried to avoid. "Stop! Don't-" he pleaded with the jellyfish, but it kept attempting to sting him.

With no other option, SpongeBob began to run away as fast as he can through the bushes and trees. But this did not stop the jellyfish from chasing after him.

* * *

Back at the campsite, SpongeBob's voice was heard from the woods, "RUN! RUN AWAY!"

This caused everyone to wake up, feeling groggily as they sat up.

"Lemme guess…" Squidward groaned angrily as he took off his sleep blinder. "Poison Ivy?"

Then SpongeBob ran from the woods with a panicked look on his face. "Quick, we gotta get out of here! There's a-" but before he could finish, the jellyfish emerged from the forest with the tips of its stingers lighting up.

Squidward and Mr. Krabs both scream, but Patrick just stared at the jellyfish. "Wow…" he said in awe. "The Black Toxicity. SpongeBob, do you have the book?"

However, SpongeBob just ran away as the jellyfish chased after him. Patrick just stood there and watched as he shouted, "Don't worry! I'll get the camera!"

Mr. Krabs picked up the cash register as he attempted to run somewhere safe in the campsite to avoid the jellyfish. Squidward screamed in horror as the jellyfish began to chase after him.

"Nice work, idiot!" Squidward yelled at SpongeBob as the both ran from the jellyfish. "You brought it right to us!"

"Well, where else was I supposed to go?" SpongeBob asked as he ran.

"As far away from here would've been nice!"

While they were all running around, screaming as the jellyfish chased them, Patrick searched his knapsack until he found his camera. "Found it!" Patrick announced with a smile.

When the jellyfish attempted to sting SpongeBob, the sponge quickly dodge rolled out of the way with the stinger hitting the ground.

But then he heard Squidward scream, and he turned to see Squidward cornered by the edge of the cliff with the jellyfish's stingers sparking. SpongeBob gasped and quickly rushed in-between the jellyfish and Squidward.

"No!" SpongeBob yelled as he shielded Squidward. "I won't let you!"

Patrick aimed his camera at SpongeBob, Squidward, and the jellyfish. He looked through the peephole and prepared to take a snapshot, completely oblivious to the danger he was looking at.

"Can you get a little closer, SpongeBob?" Patrick instructed as he tried to hold the camera straight.

The jellyfish held up its stinger while SpongeBob took out his golden spatula to defend himself. As he held up his spatula, it oddly started to vibrate in his hand, causing his arm to shake.

"Hoagie…" SpongeBob asked nervously. "What's going on? We have to help our friends."

Then it started to glow green, causing SpongeBob's arm to jerk to the right, away from the jellyfish. Patrick still held his camera and said, "Okay, smile…"

However, with SpongeBob momentarily distracted by the spatula's odd behavior, the jellyfish immediately stung SpongeBob in the chest, causing him to scream in pain. A flash of light was seen too from Patrick's camera after he took a photograph. "I got it!" he proudly shouted.

SpongeBob held the wound on his chest as he and Squidward both shivered in terror as the jellyfish drew close to them, attempting to sting them both this time.

But then a red claw pulled out a piece of wood from the campfire and Mr. Krabs held it up as he shouted, "Argh! Get back, you monster! Back I say!"

He ran after the jellyfish while swinging the torch at it, chasing it away from SpongeBob and Squidward, and using the flames to force it to fly back into the woods, leaving them alone at last.

Mr. Krabs chuckled as he tossed the torch away. "Well, that was easy. You boys are lucky to have me around. Thanks to me…Cashie is safe from harm."

"SpongeBob!" Patrick's voice cried out.

Mr. Krabs's smile dropped as he turned around and saw SpongeBob had fallen to the ground with Patrick and Squidward surrounding him in concern. "Uh oh." He muttered as he walked over to them.

SpongeBob was lying on the ground, gasping for breath with a pained look on his face as he held his chest. "What's going on?" Mr. Krabs asked SpongeBob. "What's happening to you, lad?"

"Mr. Krabs…can't feel…arms…legs…eyeballs…" SpongeBob stammered, panting rapidly as his body started to sweat and cringe.

"He got stung by that jellyfish." Squidward explained to his boss.

"But that jellyfish was poisonous!" Mr. Krabs remembered in panic. "That means he's only got about twenty minutes left to live."

"Quick!" Squidward shouted in franticly. "We gotta take him to a hospital!"

"We'd never get back through these woods before we're outta time." Mr. Krabs pointed out.

SpongeBob started screech in agony and sob as the poison of Black Toxicity Jellyfish continued to take its effect. Patrick pats his suffering friend's head. "Hang in there, buddy. We'll think of something before your twenty minutes are up."

Suddenly, there was a bright light from in the forest that blew the campfire out. "Mornin' already?" Mr. Krabs thought.

But from in the white light, a figure was seen coming into view. When the three's eyes adjusted to the light, they saw it was a mermaid with long blonde hair, green eyes, a blue tail and blue bra, riding a chariot being pulled by a seahorse.

Once he saw this, Patrick stood up and walked over to her with a blank look on his face. Squidward stared in confusion as he sat next to SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs. "What's…going on here?" the octopus asked.

As Patrick stood in front of the mermaid, she crossed her arms and spoke in a language neither Squidward nor Mr. Krabs could understand. "Ha shor zu? Kweh shor zu naga ret?" (_Who are you? What are you doing here?_)

"Isn't that Mernish?" Squidward recognized. "Some ancient forgotten language made up by mermaids a long time ago?"

"Well, I have no clue what she's telling us." Mr. Krabs pointed out.

Then to their surprise, Patrick responded in the same language, "Na mam Patrick Star. Ke and Ka capanas hall Bikini Bottom." (_I am Patrick Star. Me and my friends come from Bikini Bottom._)

"Patrick?" the mermaid repeated until she smiled. "Na phean nata sefrew zu. Na mam Clarice." (_I almost did not recognize you. I am Clarice.)_

Squidward and Mr. Krabs stared at this agape. "I ain't the only one seein' this, right?" Mr. Krabs asked with his jaw hanging out.

"Kweh brog zu evry zeh otta ret hall Bikini Bottom?" (_What brings you all the way out here from Bikini Bottom?_) Clarice asked.

"Us arred ret aggo a hazarad addove go zeh, duuuun…brrold seean togen pyrtin. But…" (_We come here on a perilous journey to the, uhhh…cold ocean with volcano. However…_) Patrick pointed to the moaning and groaning SpongeBob on the ground. "Ka capanas, SpongeBob, enufgas zeh boanad frot zeh Black Toxicity." (_My friend, SpongeBob, suffers the sting of the Black Toxicity._)

Clarice went over to a teary-eyed SpongeBob, and saw that the poison had puffed up some of his body. Mostly his cheeks were swollen, making it impossible for him to speak clearly (or possibly breathe correctly), so all he could do was moan at the sight of the mermaid above him.

"Zeh tonoxit frot zeh jellyfish hazarad him benif." (_The poison of the jellyfish endangers his life._) Clarice explained as she stroked the sponge's forehead. "Him shudtov teb brotof go inative hetilave conatinin." (_He must be taken to immediate medical attention._)

"Kweh cana frot conatinin do SpongeBob desirt hall hetilave?" (_What kind of attention does SpongeBob want from Medical?_) Patrick asked with a confused look.

Clarice picked up SpongeBob and carried him over to her chariot. "Na shal brit him go ka dwellsa top remeldic. Sha na rapshid, na mat arrto prevana ito goo tarate." (_I will take him to my home for treatment. If I hurry, I can make it before it's too late._)

When Clarice went into her chariot and placed SpongeBob inside, she grabbed the reigns and was about to take off.

"Hey! Wait a minute!" Mr. Krabs shouted as he ran over to her. "How are the rest of us supposed to get to wherever it is you're going?"

Clarice just turned her head toward them with a smile and answered, "I'll send my people to come and get you as soon as I can."

Mr. Krabs and Squidward both widen their eyes in shock while Clarice gave the reigns a flick and rode off into the forest.

Patrick smiled and waved as he said in Mernish, "Seyacana!" (_Bye bye!_) with a chuckle while Squidward and Mr. Krabs stood behind him, staring dumbfounded.

* * *

In the woods, Clarice rode the chariot at fast speed with SpongeBob sitting next to her as he suffered from the poison. His swollen eyelids were hanging halfway with his entire body puffing up also as he gave a quiet moan, unable to cry anymore.

As Clarice drove her chariot through the forest, she turned her head and noticed the black-cloaked figure was now following her on his seahorse. She gasped and gave her reigns another flick for her seahorse to go faster.

But the figure continued to pursue them, riding just as fast as she was to catch up. The cloaked figure managed to ride right next to her and extend his hand toward SpongeBob, but the sponge just sat there in the chariot while his body was still swelling up, making it harder to keep his eyes open.

This made Clarice growl angrily and she pulled her reigns hard to the right, making her chariot push him away from them, causing the cloaked figure to fall behind on his seahorse.

Clarice continued to drive through the forest until she approached a river. She flicked the reigns harder and shouted as her seahorse crossed the river and pulled the chariot to the other side. SpongeBob gave a tiny quiet moan as his body began to turn bright pink from the swelling.

She stopped the chariot and looked behind her to see the cloaked figure approach the river and spot them on the other side. Clarice got off of her chariot and approached the river.

"If you want the boy, you will have to come and get him!" she shouted challengingly.

The cloaked figure pulled his reigns, causing the seahorse to whinny loudly and attempt to cross the river. But as soon as he made it halfway through, Clarice began to sing a really high note and make the water in the river shake violently. The figure stopped his seahorse, and turned toward the beginning of the river to see a huge wave of water coming toward him. His eyes widen under his hood and the water splashed over him, presumably washing him away.

Clarice stopped singing and grinned in satisfaction. But then she turned around and gasped to see SpongeBob fall out of the chariot and land on the ground with his entire body now pink and swollen with his eyelids about to shut.

She rushed over and placed her hands on him. "No, SpongeBob! Don't go!" she pleaded loudly. "Please hang in there!"

But suddenly, a green fin with a black sleeve emerged from the river, and Clarice gasped in shock to see the cloaked figure climb out of the river. He stumbled onto land with his cloak soaking wet.

"No…" he hissed loudly until he placed his hands on his hood and removed it to reveal he was a green middle-aged fish. "My favorite coat is ruined!" he yelled in an annoyed voice.

"What is this?" Clarice asked as she stared in confusion.

"I'm Ranger Dave Gilligan." The fish said, showing her a gold forest ranger badge from out of his cloak. "I spent all day yesterday trying to catch that guy and his little traveling party."

Clarice crossed her arms in disbelief. "Explain yourself." She demanded.

"All I had been trying to do was warn them about these woods where the Black Toxicity Jellyfish reside." Ranger Dave explained. "It's Mating Season which makes them very aggressive and all the more dangerous to approach. But did they listen? No! All they did was act like maniacs and run away. I mean what did they think I was gonna do? And one of them smells terribly which didn't help my cold." He sniffled and then coughed before he spoke in a raspy voice again, "And that water didn't help my laryngitis get better."

"Okay, okay." Clarice interrupted him. "Right now I just need a way to help SpongeBob. I still have to get him to my home for medical attention."

Ranger Dave coughed again before he reached into his pocket and pulled out a plastic bottle. "Here," he said, "Rub some of this ointment on the kid's body. It'll bring down some of the swelling and keep him alive for a bit longer until he gets the proper treatment."

Clarice took the bottle of ointment, and Ranger Dave began to walk away as he added, "If I were you, I'd put it on ASAP. By the looks of it, he only has less than two minutes left to live." He reached into the river and pulled out his seahorse, which looked just fine, and he got on and rode off.

Clarice turned her attention back to SpongeBob, who looked just like his life was about to end as his swollen eyelids were about to shut.

"Hold on, SpongeBob." Clarice said as she squeezed some ointment onto her hand and rubbed it over SpongeBob's swollen body. "It'll all be okay."

As she rubbed some more ointment over him, SpongeBob stared off into the bright early morning sky above the woodland trees until his vision grew dark and his pink puffy eyelids close softly.

_Hope you liked it. As for everything that happened…well, were you expecting it? The crazy language is something I just made up, but if you can speak it, I tip my pen to you! But don't expect me to be a teacher LOL! Please tell me what you think so far and stick around for the next chapter._


	7. Chapter 7: Gifts and Wisdom

_Please enjoy this next chapter of "Keeper of the Spatula". Last time, SpongeBob was nearly poisoned to death by a jellyfish until he was saved by a foreign-speaking mermaid._

_Enjoy the show…_

Chapter 7: Gifts and Wisdom

A bright light suddenly appeared into view. Once it became clear, the light was actually daylight coming in from the window behind the curtains. A pair of blue eyes which belonged to SpongeBob blinked a few times before adjusting to the light. He held his head and looked around to see he was in a small beautiful well-kept room he had never seen before.

SpongeBob then sat up and noticed he was lying in a comfortable bed with soft white sheets, and then noticed he was wearing only his underwear and his body was no longer swollen or pink, but he had a small bandage on his chest from where he got stung.

"Top 'o the mornin', SpongeBob." Mr. Krabs greeted as he walked to SpongeBob's bedside. "Glad to see you're finally awake."

"Hi, Mr. Krabs." SpongeBob greeted with a weak smile as he held his head. "Where are we?"

"So you don't remember, eh?" Mr. Krabs noticed with a smile. "Well, I'm not surprised after nearly being poisoned to death by a toxic jellyfish. You had us all worried about you, lad. But don't worry. You're in Mertopia and you're safe now."

"Mertopia?" SpongeBob questioned until he smiled. "Oh, that's right. I think it's all starting to come back to me now." But then he got a confused look again. "Who was it that brought me here again?"

"Her name's Clarice." Mr. Krabs answered. "She's the head mermaid of this place. Lucky for us, she ain't charging us a room bill and hospital fee."

As he listened, SpongeBob's eyes widen in shock and he asked, "The spatula! What happened to it after I passed out?"

"Take it easy, lad." Mr. Krabs calmly said as he laid SpongeBob back into bed. "It's right there on the nightstand. Once you get your strength back, we'll continue on the journey. But for now, just try and relax. Nurses said that it'll take a while for you to get back to your old self after surviving that poison. But just take a little nap while you're here, okay?" He began to leave the room, but before exiting, he looked back at SpongeBob, "Once you wake up, get dressed and we'll meet you outside."

"Okay," SpongeBob replied with a smile as he lay back down. "Thanks, Mr. Krabs."

* * *

It wasn't long till SpongeBob fell right back to sleep and continued to rest after waking up from a horrifying experience he thought he wouldn't live to tell about. Two hours later, he woke up and got dressed in his square pants, shoes, uniform hat, and pocketed the golden spatula.

He then went outside and gasped in amazement at the structure of Mertopia city he could see from the second floor outside hallway he was standing on. The sun shining down on the city made it look like gold, and the lake below sparkled among the grass and flowers.

As SpongeBob admired the scenery with his sparkling eyes, he turned and saw Patrick and Squidward standing up ahead and the two noticed him.

SpongeBob grew a big smile on his face by just seeing his two best friends, and Patrick grew the same expression.

"PATRICK…" SpongeBob shouted in happiness as he started running toward them with his arms held out in what would most likely be slow-motion.

"SPONGEBOB…" Patrick shouted in the same manner as he started 'slowly' running toward his best friend.

Soon the two reached each other and embraced warmly as they laughed blissfully with Patrick twirling SpongeBob around in his arms. Squidward just rolled his eyes at this…but of course, the sponge would never forget about him.

He broke away from Patrick and held out his arms as he slow-mowed his way to the octopus in sheer happiness, "SQUIDWARD…"

"NOOOO…" Squidward shouted as he tried to back away, but the sponge quickly wrapped his arms around him and hugged him tightly while Squidward just stood there with no other option.

When SpongeBob finally eased off, he stood there contently next to his two friends. "Oh guys…you don't know how happy I am to see you're okay." He said with a warm smile.

"We could say the same thing." Patrick said as he put an arm around him. "We thought you were a goner."

"And I suppose if it hadn't been for you, I probably would've been the one suffering from poisoned bloating." Squidward admitted to SpongeBob. "So I can't believe I'm saying this, but SpongeBob…I owe you big time."

SpongeBob laughed and gave Squidward a light friendly punch. "Don't worry about it, Squidward. I'm sure you'd do the same for me."

* * *

A couple minutes later, SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward were walking around the courtyard, doing a little sight-seeing.

"I don't think I've ever heard of Mertopia before." SpongeBob mentioned to his friends.

"I wouldn't expect that." Squidward replied cynically. "This is a sacred place where only mermaids live, and where Mernish is the prime language."

"Ooh, fancy."

"Here's the picture I took of you with the Black Toxicity Jellyfish." Patrick explained as he showed SpongeBob the photo he had taken the other day. "See?"

SpongeBob stared at the photo of him screaming in pain as the large black jellyfish stung him in the chest with its poisonous stingers. "Wow…" SpongeBob said in amazement. "I LOOK GREAT! Wait'll the guys at Jelly-Con see this!"

"Well, there you boys are." The mermaid, Clarice, said as she approached the three. "I am relieved to see you are feeling better, SpongeBob."

"I should be the one thanking you, Clarice." SpongeBob said with a warm smile. "If it hadn't been for you, I wouldn't be here right now."

"Think nothing of it, SpongeBob." Clarice said with a warm smile as she held his face and kissed him on the head while the sponge giggled sweetly with a blush. "I am glad to help any friend of Patrick's."

But then Squidward asked, "By the way, how do you even know this pink idiot anyway?"

"Why, we're pen-pals." Clarice answered excitedly.

"What?" SpongeBob and Squidward asked in surprise- with Squidward being the most shocked of the two.

"That's right, fellas." Patrick said as he suddenly pulled a black pen out of his pocket. "I get one of these from her about once every month."

Clarice was holding a black pen also as she smiled gleefully. "And he sends the most wonderful pens with red ink. And he has even sent ones that write in different colored gel. I can show them to you later."

Patrick laughed his usual dim-witted laugh, and then turned to Squidward and SpongeBob, who were both equally baffled by the unusual explanation of his and Clarice's long-distance friendship.

"Yeah. You should get pen-pals yourselves." He suggested. "They're a lot of fun."

Then Clarice spoke to Patrick in Mernish again, "Conata go zeh nartonen ten a morica."

Neither SpongeBob nor Squidward could understand and the two glance at each other in confusion. But Patrick simply replied back in the same language, "Oki, na shal vew zu dar."

After this, Clarice left and Patrick turned to the two and said, "Clarice said that she wants to meet us in the garden in an hour. We have to let Mr. Krabs know too."

"Wow, Patrick," SpongeBob said in an amazed tone. "You never told me you can speak Mernish."

"Nah," Patrick said as he shook his head. "I only speak English…and French."

To this, Squidward and SpongeBob get even more confused looks than before.

* * *

An hour later after meeting up with Mr. Krabs and informing him of the meeting with the mermaids, they went to the beautiful garden filled with many different colored undersea flowers and a lovely fountain. Clarice and her fellow mermaid residents joined them, but also with them was an elderly mermaid with white hair tied in a bun, closed eyes, a cross expression, and wearing a white tunic.

"This is my grandmother." Clarice introduced as she pointed to the elderly mermaid. "And our city's elder."

"Well, nice to meet you, Granny Elder." SpongeBob said with a cheerful tone and wave.

"She does speak good 'ol fashion English, right?" Mr. Krabs asked nervously. "You know, so we can all understand perfectly clear?"

"You there!" the elder shouted in a haggish tone as she pointed at SpongeBob. "Little yellow creature!"

SpongeBob yelped in fright and pointed to himself. "Who? Me?"

"You have an evil object in your possession."

SpongeBob tried to smile as he replied, "If you're talking about the golden spatula with Hoagie's spirit inside, I wouldn't say he's-"

But he was interrupted when the elder shouted, "Release the object!" she pointed to a garden table standing on a grassy spot a couple feet to their right. "Over there."

Without hesitation, SpongeBob reluctantly walked over to the table and pulled the spatula out of his pocket, placing it on the table. He then walked back to the group with a sad look on his face.

But Mr. Krabs complained, "Now wait second here. We need that spatula with us."

"Specnosa!" The elder shouted in Mernish as she held her hand up.

"She wants you to be silent." Patrick translated.

"Don't need to be fluent in the language to understand that." Mr. Krabs said bitterly.

"My granddaughter tells me that you four are journeying to the frozen tundra of the Arctic to dispose of that cursed object in the volcano."

SpongeBob was the first to speak up, "Yes, Ma'am. We have come all the way from Bikini Bottom to free fellow fry cook, Hoagie Grindulas, from his imprisonment in the spatula. We have come so far and wish to continue this journey until the very end."

The elder approached SpongeBob and stared down at him with her cross expression. "You are certain of this?"

"Oh yes," SpongeBob answered with a cheerful nod and smile. "As much as it hurts me to do it, I have to. Hoagie is not really as evil as everyone seems to think. He's still a wonderful fry cook, who's just suffering from his mistake, and I can't let that go on." Then he locked his hands together and pleaded, "So please let us go on. I promised Hoagie we would do this, and I always try to keep my promises."

Mr. Krabs, Squidward, and Patrick anxiously watched after SpongeBob made his little speech. The elder just stared down at him before replying, "Clearly you are blinded by your naivety."

SpongeBob just nodded blissfully and answered, "Oh, well, thank you! It has to be one of my strong points."

"I know that tool is cursed because it just reeks of paranormal activity and evil." The elder explained as she looked at the shining spatula sitting on the table. "But…if you insist, then please allow us to help you prepare for your journey."

At this, SpongeBob, Patrick, Mr. Krabs, and Squidward all smiled and laughed in joy.

* * *

Later on, the mermaids all gave the group their travel bags and many new supplies for their journey. They were all now wearing small green cloaks that were supposed to keep them warm. SpongeBob twirled around in his to show it off.

"Wow, not only do they look good, but they're comfortable too." SpongeBob said, snuggling up in his cloak.

"Well, I guess they will have to do." Squidward said, after putting on his small cloak.

Mr. Krabs was shining his cash register with a piece of white cloth. "This polishin' oil really does work wonders for you, Cashie."

"Thanks for all the food, Clarice." Patrick said with his small fridge on his back.

"My pleasure." Clarice replied with a giggle.

The elder then picked up the spatula from the table and gave it back to SpongeBob. "Remember, child, don't let the evil in this tool consume you." She told him. "Always remember where your true loyalties lie and don't let the evil fill your heart with false vanity and voracity."

SpongeBob then remember Mr. Krabs telling him of the spatulas power to curse those who hold it for too long with greed and obsession over what they hold dear. But SpongeBob simply replied, "Those are big V words. But don't you worry, Ma'am. Hoagie and I share the same love of krabby patties. He would never take that from me and twist it in ways unimaginable. But thanks for your concern."

The elder then spat in frustration and turned away. "That's all I have to give you. From here, go to the high mountains and cross the Middle Caves to the other side of the land."

"In that case, thanks for everything, ladies." Mr. Krabs said with a wave and smile. "We'll head there right now."

When the four were about to leave, Clarice shouted, "Not so fast!" they stopped and turned back to the mermaid. "I must warn you first of the danger you head for in those mountain caves. Inside lives a horrible beast known as Kobra."

"Kobra?" SpongeBob and Patrick both questioned in shock.

"Kobra?" Mr. Krabs questioned also, but didn't seem as shocked as his employees. "You're really warning us about him?"

"A long agile body, sharp pointed fangs, and a long slippery tongue." Clarice described. "When you go into the cave, please be sure to avoid contact with him at all cost."

"Yeesh," SpongeBob said, looking nervous by this. "Sounds dangerous."

"We'll keep that in mind." Mr. Krabs replied, not looking in the least a bit startled. "Let's get going, boys." Then he began to walk away with the others following him. The crab then muttered to himself, "Obviously, they've never actually been through the caves."

"Bye!" SpongeBob waved to the mermaids with a smile.

The mermaids all giggled as they waved goodbye to their guests as they leave to continue their journey.

Patrick turned back to Clarice and waved as he said in Mernish, "Na shal denifto go giddie zu zeh opotiman pen imeditoo na arrito dwellsa hall ka addove- alto noco na maatus zeh spaltinoo." (_I'll be sure to send you the finest pen once I get home from my adventure- and after I use the bathroom._)

"Na antinito go gevining many hal zu." (_I look forward to receiving more from you._) Clarice said also with a grateful smile and wave.

As they left, SpongeBob watched everything and commented to Squidward, "Patrick really knows how to speak French, doesn't he?"

Squidward frowned dully as he added, "Naivety really is one of your strong points."

_Back on the road with peace at last- though according to the mermaids, it may not last very long. Unless Mr. Krabs is right from what he remembers. Please review and tell me what you think so far._


	8. Chapter 8: Why'd It Have to Be Snakehead

_Here's the next chapter of "Keeper of the Spatula". This chapter's a bit of a crazy one and I apologize in advance for the ending. But don't try and kill me just yet after you read it._

_Enjoy…_

Chapter 8: Why'd It Have to Be Snakeheads?

After leaving Mertopia, SpongeBob, Patrick, Squidward, and Mr. Krabs journeyed their way to the mountains to cross Middle Caves. It was early afternoon, but the sky had darkened for some reason as they traveled up the path that led into the mountain caves.

SpongeBob kept asking what the horrible beast called "Kobra" could be like; whether he'd only eat one of them or choose to eat all of them at once. Patrick didn't like to talk about it, especially when Squidward brought up the idea of it just eating SpongeBob and Patrick due to all the "barnacles in their brains". Seeing this, SpongeBob decided to quickly change the subject for Patrick's sake.

"Do you know what one of the mermaids told me?" SpongeBob asked in a cheerful tone. "That when we're crossing the caves, all we have to do is think about what makes us happy, and then we won't be afraid."

"Well, thanks for that helpful advice." Squidward sarcastically said with a frown.

"No problem, Squidward." SpongeBob said as he skipped at a slow pace. "I'm sure it'll help."

As the group pressed on, they followed a dry stony path that led up the mountain. They stop at the entrance of the cave and glance inside to see it was dark and almost impossible to see.

"Mr. Squidward, you have a flashlight somewhere on you?" Mr. Krabs asked as he held out his claw.

Squidward opened his travel pack and dug around inside until he pulled out a small flashlight. He handed it to his boss, and Mr. Krabs turned it on before walking inside. "Well, we ain't just gonna stand around out here." He said, confidently walking in.

The three follow him into the dark cave as he lit the way with the flashlight. SpongeBob inched closer to Mr. Krabs and asked nervously, "Mr. Krabs…did you really not see anything named Kobra the last time you were here?"

"Of course not, lad." Mr. Krabs answered with a smile. "Those mermaids don't know what they're talking about. Truthfully, I did see something in here years ago. But it was a little creature the size of a piece of coral. You ain't afraid of something that small, are ya, boy-o?"

SpongeBob thought about this and answered, "Well…I guess not."

"Good boy, now stop this scardy-snail nonsense and let's keep going."

"Aye aye, sir!" SpongeBob said with a salute, and then went behind to walk next to Patrick. "Did you hear that, Patrick? Kobra's just a tiny little thing who can't possibly eat us."

"But I'm still scared." Patrick said as he shivered in fright. "What about the other horrible creatures in here?"

"Hmm, you do have a point." SpongeBob said as he thought to himself, but quickly got an idea. "Okay, just think of all the things that make you happy, and then you won't be afraid."

Patrick nodded. "Okay."

He held his hand on his chin and attempted to do the impossible: think. After a while, he clenched his teeth and held his eyes shut as he tried to think of one thing that could keep him from wetting himself as he walked through the cave. With all the thinking he was doing, he would probably blow a gasket soon.

Finally, he shouted, "SpongeBob, all this thinking is too hard! Can you think of all the things that make me happy?"

"I'll be glad to." SpongeBob gladly accepted as started to ponder about his best friend, "How about krabby patties? I always see you happy when eating those."

"Oh yeah, that's true." Patrick nodded, seeing SpongeBob was right. "Anything else?"

"Hmm…how about jellyfishing? That makes anyone happy."

"All right!"

"Oh! And Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy. You're always happy when we watch them."

While SpongeBob and Patrick were cheering themselves up, Squidward watched them from behind as he followed and began to think to himself, '_Life without SpongeBob and Patrick. That would make me happy._' He then smiled as he became lost in the thought.

"Ahoy!" Mr. Krabs hollered throughout the cave, catching their attention. "We've reached the center."

They see Mr. Krabs was right when they saw large wide space held up by columns that looked almost like a tomb. With their eyes already adjusted to the darkness, it was pretty clear to see without a flashlight.

"This place looks very ancient." SpongeBob pointed out as he went inside.

"It sure does." Mr. Krabs agreed as he looked around. "I once thought that if this place were any closer to the Krusty Krab, I can make a quick buck sharing my discovery with my customers." Then he took out his cash register and cuddled it close. "After all, Cashie needs to eat too. And money is just the diet she needs."

Squidward wandered around the cave and ran his tentacle across a pillar. He looked at his tentacle to see the dirt and dust that had collected on it. "I don't see why anyone would wanna come here on their free time."

SpongeBob was leaned down against a rock that seemed to have an inscription etched into it. Patrick noticed him and walked over. "Whatcha looking at, SpongeBob?"

"There's something written here." SpongeBob answered as Squidward and Mr. Krabs walked over. "It says, 'Dear Traveler: Like you, I once journeyed through this cave on a quest of my own. For your own safety, I suggest you turn back and never return for the beast that dwells in this cave will certainly devour you like it did to me. Signed: TJ R. Rolkien.'"

"What does that mean?" Patrick asked, looking confused.

SpongeBob answered uneasily, "It means that there's a possibility that this cave really is dangerous." Then he got a look of horror. "What if it was Kobra?"

"Just one little problem." Squidward pointed out. "If that guy really died when he came into this cave, how was he able to write all that?"

"Yeah, that's right, Squidward." Mr. Krabs said with a nod. "There is no danger in this here cave, and there's certainly no-"

But then they suddenly heard a growl echo through the walls of the caves. SpongeBob and Patrick yelp in fright and huddle close to Squidward, but he was too surprised by the noise to even care.

"Let's just think of everything that makes us happy." SpongeBob mentioned as he shivered in fright and tried to keep a smile on his face.

"You boys are being a bunch of pansies." Mr. Krabs teased, not even looking scared. "I told you. Kobra is only ten inches high. He couldn't hurt a-"

But then, the growling grew louder and the wall of the cave comes crumbling down with a giant snakehead fish slithering on the ground, hissing at them with its long tongue.

The four scream in horror at the sight of it, and afterwards, Mr. Krabs chuckles nervously. "Well…I guess Kobra's grown a bit since the last time I was here."

The giant snakehead, Kobra, then give a loud hiss at the group, causing them to scream again and split apart as they run in different directions while Kobra slithers around the room to catch them.

While Mr. Krabs was running, he trips on a small rock and loses his grip on his cash register and it bounces around the cave with a loud clank. "Cashie!" he cries out as he runs after it with his claws held out in front of him.

SpongeBob hid behind a boulder with his knees to his chest as he closes his eyes and attempts to follow the mermaids' advice and make his situation more pleasant by thinking of all the things that make him happy.

"Blowing bubbles…jellyfish…krabby patties…Gary…kay-rah-tay…" SpongeBob recited with fear in his voice as he held his eyes tightly shut.

But then, his eyes widen as a pair of large fangs to bite the boulder into pieces and reveal SpongeBob's hiding place. "NOT DYING!" the sponge screamed loudly in front of the fish.

When Kobra was about to bite SpongeBob, a pebble hit the fish's head, momentarily getting its attention. The hurler was Patrick, who stood behind it.

"Hey Kobra." Patrick shouted with a taunt. "Don't even try to eat my best friend!"

But the snakehead hissed and slithered after Patrick while the starfish ran away. "Don't try to eat me either!" he shouted with a cry.

Squidward hid behind a pillar and panted heavily as he tried to avoid contact with the snakehead. But then he looked see Patrick standing right next to him, realizing he was the one Kobra was chasing. Because of this, Kobra knocked the pillar down with a swing of his tail and the two ran away screaming, trying to avoid the falling debris.

"Oh no," SpongeBob gasped as he watched everything. "I gotta do something before they're snakehead food."

He reached into his pocket and pulled out the golden spatula as he ran toward the snakehead.

"Hey Kobra!" SpongeBob shouted as he stood behind the snakehead, catching his attention. "Come slither over and get a bite out of this!"

Kobra did just this as he hissed and quickly grabbed a hold of the spatula with his fangs while SpongeBob still held onto the other end.

"Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!" SpongeBob yelled as Kobra swung him back and forth from his spatula.

Soon Kobra let go of it and flung SpongeBob into the stone wall with a splat. The sponge groaned from the impact and his eyes bobble in his head from all the swinging.

Mr. Krabs ran over to him after finally retrieving his cash register. "Lad, you okay?"

SpongeBob shook his head back to normal and stood up. "I'm alright, Mr. Krabs. What are we gonna do? We can't defeat Kobra."

"We don't have to, lad." Mr. Krabs said as he placed a claw on his shoulder. "I spotted the tunnel that leads to the exit. If it's anything like it was years ago, it'll get us to safety."

SpongeBob smiled weakly and replied, "You're the best, Mr. Krabs."

Mr. Krabs got an odd look by this simple reply. "Uh…okay."

Meanwhile, Kobra had Squidward and Patrick in his coils as it hissed at them with his large fangs sticking out at them. Patrick giggled and said, "He's giving us a hug, Squidward. I guess he won't eat us after all."

SpongeBob gasped in fright at his two best friends about to be eaten. But then he looked up and noticed some stalactites on the ceiling. He looked at the spatula in his hand and with a mighty heave, tossed it into the air. The spatula hit the ceiling right above Kobra with a clank and fell back in SpongeBob's hand.

All seemed still at first until the stalactites began to vibrate and crack from the ceiling until he fell off and hit Kobra on the head, making him dizzy and release his grip on Patrick and Squidward.

Once the octopus and starfish were safe on the ground, Mr. Krabs yelled to them, "Come on, boys! This way!"

The two quickly followed Mr. Krabs and SpongeBob down a tunnel that led out of the mountain cave. When they reach the end of the tunnel, the group stopped just in time before falling down a long round hole in the middle of the walkway that let out a red hue color illuminating the cave. The look down to see some smoke rising from below, indicating that there might be molten rock at the very bottom.

"Well, this is just great." Squidward said as he stared below.

"What do we do now?" SpongeBob asked.

But before they could ponder this, they heard a loud hiss from the tunnel behind them, and realize that Kobra is coming right their way in pursuit.

"We gotta jump across!" Mr. Krabs shouted to them. "It's the only way!"

After hearing another dangerous hissing from the tunnel, SpongeBob decided to be the first to make the dangerous jump, and closed his eyes as he leapt across the pit. He caught hold of the edge on the other side and climbed up safely.

Squidward was the second to the jump across safely, and Patrick hopped across next as he fell flat on his face on the ground with SpongeBob helping him up. Mr. Krabs looked behind him to see Kobra had finally caught up to him and spotted Mr. Krabs still on his side of the ledge. The crab looked down to see the ground cracking beneath him, leaving him only seconds to make it across or fall to the death below.

"Come on, Mr. Krabs!" SpongeBob called out to him.

"We're coming, lads!" Mr. Krabs shouted back as he tossed his cash register over the hole with it unfortunately smacking SpongeBob in the face. He then leapt across the pit with Squidward pulling him up the ledge to safety.

As Kobra walked over to the ledge, the ground beneath him crumbled to pieces, causing him to fall down the pit as the four watched Kobra disappear down below to the red inferno presumably down there.

Patrick took this moment to laugh his usual dense laugh. "We sure showed him."

"Yeah," SpongeBob replied with a chuckle. "We sure did."

Mr. Krabs sighed as he took his cash register from SpongeBob. "The important thing is we made it out alive and there were no casualties."

But then a long snake tongue shot out from the pit and wrapped itself around the cash register as Mr. Krabs's eyes widen to see it pulled out of his arms and dragged down the pit.

"CASHIE!" Mr. Krabs yelled out as he ran toward the pit and without a second thought, jumped down.

They all gasped in shock as they saw Mr. Krabs plummet down the hole after the falling cash register with a yell.

SpongeBob ran toward the edge, extending his arms as tears flew out of his eyes as he cried out, "MR. KRABS!" Squidward quickly ran over and grabbed his right arm to keep him from dropping in as he hung over the ledge.

"Let's get out of here!" Squidward yelled as his face strained from holding onto SpongeBob while the cave floor shook.

* * *

Down below as Mr. Krabs fell down the hole, he glared in determination and held out his walking staff as he approached the falling Kobra.

"Hand over the register, Kobra!" Mr. Krabs demanded as he fell closer to him.

But the snakehead just hissed through his long fangs, and Mr. Krabs responded by whacking Kobra with his staff repeatedly on his head. Kobra tried to use his tail to knock away Mr. Krabs, but the crab used his staff to deflect the swing.

Mr. Krabs growled and shot himself forward and punched Kobra right in the face, somehow knocking one of his fangs out. While Kobra was dizzy, Mr. Krabs grabbed him by his neck with both of his claws and made the snakehead regurgitate the cash register which he then caught in his arms, letting Kobra fall further below.

"I did it!" Mr. Krabs shouted happily as he held his cash register and continued falling down the long hole. "I got ya back, Cashie!"

He then laughed manically for some reason while Kobra hit the bottom and released a bunch of hot steam and bubbles which Mr. Krabs landed into, not even acknowledging it as he laughed and laughed with his cash register in his arms.

* * *

Meanwhile, outside the mountain, SpongeBob, Squidward, and Patrick tumbled down out of the cave as they witnessed the whole mountain caves crumble to pieces with no sign of Mr. Krabs ever coming out.

SpongeBob then stood up on his feet with an upset and teary-eyed look which he tried to hold back, but then cried out at the top of his lungs, "NOOOOO!"

_I know my facts about snakeheads were completely false, but when is anything ever logical on SpongeBob? Review and tell me what you think?_


	9. Chapter 9: Stand By Me

_Here's the next chapter of "Keeper of the Spatula". The Chapter's kinda short, so I apologize for that. Last time, the group made it through the dangerous caves that housed a dangerous snakehead. But one companion didn't make it out… What will they do now?_

_Enjoy… _

Chapter 9: Stand By Me

Later that afternoon, SpongeBob, Squidward, and Patrick were sitting in a forest after escaping the Middle Caves in the mountain that was home to the dangerous snakehead, Kobra. However, one of their group members did not make it out with them and went down with the cave and monster.

SpongeBob was sitting in the dirt with a depressed look on his face from losing his boss. "Poor Mr. Krabs…" he said with a sob as tears ran down his cheeks. "I never wanted this to happen!"

Squidward was leaning against a tree, moping at the events as well. "Yeah…me neither. He dragged us out here and then left us. How did it ever come to this?"

Patrick walked over to the weeping SpongeBob and asked, "So SpongeBob, do you know when Mr. Krabs is coming back so we can know where to go next?"

"Oh, don't you understand, Patrick?" SpongeBob asked with a cry. "He's gone forever out of our lives! A brave man like him suffered the fate of being crushed underneath tons of rubble and a vicious Kobra!"

He began sobbing again as Patrick offered the end of his cloak to him which SpongeBob proceeded to blow his nose on.

"So Mr. Krabs isn't coming back?" Patrick asked clueless.

Squidward then sighed and began to walk away. "Well, it's been a real nice experience with all of you, so let's start our journey home."

"Squidward, wait." SpongeBob called, stopping Squidward from going further. "We can't quit now. We have to keep journeying until we reach the Arctic Ocean. We still have to toss Hoagie's spatula in the volcano."

"Are you crazy?" Squidward asked in an angered tone. "After everything that's just happened, you _still_ wanna keep going to a frozen wasteland just to toss a piece of junk into a volcano?"

"Of course I do." SpongeBob said with a determined look as he took the gold spatula out of his pocket. "I promised Hoagie and I'm keeping it. And I sure am not gonna let Mr. Krabs down either. That's not what he would've wanted."

"Oh, gimme a break." Squidward said as he walked over to SpongeBob and pointed to him as he continued on, "If you wanna risk your life going to some frozen wasteland to throw a piece of junk into a volcano, then be my guest. I'm heading back for home, so give me the map."

"I can't do that, Squidward." SpongeBob replied sadly as he crossed his arms.

"And why not?" Squidward angrily asked. "Because Mr. Krabs would've wanted you to have it so you can continue the journey in his honor?"

"No," SpongeBob replied as he looked down sadly. "Because Mr. Krabs was the one who had the map."

Squidward suddenly got a dumbstruck look as SpongeBob turned around and began marching forward with the spatula in his hand. "Well, then." He spoke in determination as he pressed forward. "I'm going to finish this journey…even if I have to do it myself."

"SpongeBob, wait!" Patrick called as he rushed over to his best friend before the sponge could leave. "What about me? What do I do?"

"You should go home too, pal." SpongeBob reluctantly responded as he placed a hand on Patrick's shoulder. "I wouldn't wanna lose you forever too."

"But what about you?" Patrick asked, looking like he was about to cry.

He stopped for a moment and looked down at the spatula in hands. "I'm sorry, Pat." SpongeBob replied, looking sad as well. "But I have to keep going. I have to finish this journey to the Arctic Ocean. Not just for Hoagie…but for Mr. Krabs as well."

He then pocketed the spatula and ran through the woods as he waved back and shouted, "Goodbye, friends!" leaving Patrick and Squidward behind as they stared blankly at the sponge running off.

* * *

When SpongeBob reached the edge of the forest, he stopped when he spotted a large lake ahead of him. He pondered to himself about what he would do to get across. Then he moved his eyes to see a rowboat conveniently sitting on the shore.

SpongeBob then began pushing it into the water, using all the strength he had to move it from the shore. Once it was all the way into the water, he hopped into the boat and began using the oar inside to row across the lake.

When SpongeBob had rowed himself almost toward the middle of the lake, he heard a familiar voice shout, "SpongeBob!"

He turned his head back to the shore to see Patrick jumping up and down to get his attention while Squidward stood behind him, not doing anything.

"Patrick? Squidward?" SpongeBob questioned until he shouted back to them, "What are you guys doing?"

"We're coming with you!" Patrick continued to shout back to him. "We're gonna help you destroy the spatula!"

SpongeBob didn't look happy by this statement, and he got a sad look again as he replied, "But Patrick, I told you to go home with Squidward! It's too dangerous and I don't wanna lose you!"

"But SpongeBob, we're best friends!" Patrick shouted as he ran into the lake. "Wherever you go, I wanna go too!" once he got deeper into the water, he began to flail his arms. "Best friends are supposed to stick together no matter what!"

SpongeBob began to gasp in shock at seeing Patrick flailing in the water since he obviously couldn't swim. "Patrick!" he cried out in worry.

But Patrick continued waving his arms around as he struggled to stay afloat. "Help! Help! I'm drowning! I can't swim!"

"Patrick…" Squidward said as he simply walked through the lake with the water only coming up to his knees. He looked at the starfish with an annoyed frown and said, "Stop swimming."

When Squidward continued walking through the water, Patrick stopped flailing around and stood up, now realizing he was still in the shallow part of the lake. "Oh yeah." He said upon realizing this.

Squidward then climbed into SpongeBob's boat along with Patrick, nearly tipping the boat over with his weight.

"Oh, Patrick…" SpongeBob said as he sniffled, close to tears as he smiled. "Thank you for always being there for me- even with the danger coming closer."

He hugged Patrick as the starfish smiled. "Anytime, good buddy." He replied as he hugged him back. "'Danger' is my middle name."

"It is?" SpongeBob asked as he let go.

"Nah," Patrick answered, still smiling. "I think it's 'Richard'…or maybe 'Daryl'…'Mary'?"

SpongeBob then turned to Squidward with a happy smile. "And thank _you_, Squidward." He hugged him as well as he cried tears of joy. "I knew you would always be there for me."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Squidward irritably replied as he pried SpongeBob off. "The only reason I'm going is because I figured since you both dragged me all this way, I might as well finish what I started." Then he crossed his arms and frowned. "Though, I don't see how we're gonna do that without a map to show us which way to go."

"Don't worry, Squidward." SpongeBob assured with a smile. "We'll find a way."

Then as if things couldn't get any worse, while Patrick continued to run down a list of names, SpongeBob started to sing again as he swung the oar around.

SpongeBob: **OHHHH! Me, Pat, and Squidward**

**We're going along**

**Down the long trail**

**Though we might be wrong**

**Me, Pat, and Squidward**

**We're all a great team**

**With Hoagie's spatula-**

But Squidward covered his mouth to stop him from finishing. "Please don't even think of doing anymore singing." He warned the sponge.

As they continued to float down the lake with SpongeBob merrily rowing the boat as he hummed the song to himself, Patrick began to hold his stomach as a nauseated look appeared on his face. "Ughhh…I don't think I feel so good."

"I'm sorry, Patrick." SpongeBob said in concern. "I didn't even think you got seasick."

Squidward crossed his arms and told the starfish. "Well, don't even think of blowing chunks while you're in this boat."

"I don't think it's chunks, Squidward." Patrick replied as he swayed back and forth in the boat, looking even sicker. "I think it might be the kelp jerky I had for lunch."

When Patrick covered his mouth, signifying that he was about to vomit, Squidward quickly backed away to the other end of the boat with SpongeBob. Then the two franticly begged the sick starfish to hold his lunch in until they reached land. But when it looked like Patrick wouldn't comply, the sponge and cephalopod quickly grabbed the oars and rapidly paddled their way through the lake.

Once they reached their destination, SpongeBob and Squidward got off the boat and started panting in exhaustion as they heard a loud burp from behind them.

They turn to see Patrick get out of the boat, looking much better. "It was just gas…who knew?" he said with a smile and shrug.

Patrick began walking forward onto the trail while Squidward growled and steamed with anger until SpongeBob attempted to calm him down. "Relax, Squiddy." He said with a cheerful smile as he waved his hand. "The important thing is we're now all happy and healthy."

He took out the golden spatula and waved it around as he skipped forward. "Hoagie's ready, so let's go!"

With no other choice now, Squidward reluctantly followed along on their continuing journey to the Arctic Ocean.

_It looks like despite how bad things may seem, SpongeBob's still going with a spring in his step and his friends by his side- and a cursed spatula in his hand. Review and the next chapter will be up soon._


	10. Chapter 10: New Travel Buddy

_Here's the next chapter of "Keeper of the Spatula". Last time, SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward continued their journey to the Arctic with SpongeBob being the new leader. But can he do the leading part?_

_Enjoy…_

Chapter 10: New Travel Buddy

The next afternoon, SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward walked down a grassy field to continue their journey. SpongeBob decided to lead the way in place of his late boss, Mr. Krabs, but this didn't seem to affect him with the burden of having to carry a cursed spatula as well- not that the latter ever burdened him. Though, none of this helped since without a map, they had no idea where they were supposed to go.

"I'm bored." Patrick announced, blurting the previous moment of silence. "Can we play another game?"

"No." Squidward immediately answered.

But SpongeBob happily answered, "I'd love to. We hadn't done that in a while now. How about I Spy?"

"All right! I wanna go first!" Patrick then quickly tried to think of an object around them that he could see. "Okay, I spy something that's green."

SpongeBob scratched his chin, trying to spot an object around them that fit the description of 'green', but Squidward beat him to it.

"It's the grass." Squidward answered, deadpanned.

"Darn!" Patrick exclaimed in disappointed, and then continued with the game. "Okay, I spy something green…and wide."

SpongeBob raised his hand to answer, but Squidward already answered, "Grass."

"Aw, you got it right again." Patrick groaned and then quickly thought of something else, "Oh! I know one you'll never guess. I spy something green and…fertile."

"Grass." Squidward answered once again, sounding rather annoyed.

"Barnacles! That's right again!"

"Hmm, and I was gonna go for tree." SpongeBob muttered to himself.

Then Patrick came at it with another round, "Okay, I spy…"

"Grass." Squidward answered already. "And the next one is grass."

"Hey, that's cheating!" Patrick accused, pointing a finger. "You can't guess until I spy something!"

"Well, this is nothing but pointless!" Squidward yelled back. "There's no reason to play stupid childish games while we're running around in the middle of nowhere!"

SpongeBob tried to come between the two with reason, "Hey, hey, guys…there's no point in arguing about it. Besides, we're not running around nowhere, we're just fine."

"SpongeBob, do you even have the slightest idea where we're going?" Squidward asked, looking sharply at him.

SpongeBob giggled at this. "Oh, Squidward, ha ah ah ah, do I even have the slightest- ha ah ah ah- No." then he slumped over with a sad frown. "Honestly…I'm still working on that plan that'll help us find a way to get to the Arctic."

"Yeah! Whoo-hoo!" Patrick suddenly cheered until he noticed the other two not as amused as he was. "Wait, is this a bad thing?"

"All we've been doing is going around in circles!" Squidward angrily pointed out.

But SpongeBob just brushed away this idea. "Oh, don't be ridiculous, Squidward." He said, waving his hand as he smiled. "No, we haven't."

"Uh, actually, SpongeBob, I think Squidward might be right." Patrick pointed out. "I was wondering why we kept seeing our footprints when we were walking."

SpongeBob looked down to see they were both right, and that their footprints were walking in one big circle.

Squidward then covered his face as if he were about to cry. "We're gonna die out here."

"No, we won't, Squidward." SpongeBob said as he comforted him by patting his back. "Why don't we rest here for a bit? I'll gather up some firewood and we can have some lunch."

With this, SpongeBob ran off, leaving Squidward and Patrick to relax while he went to gather twigs for a fire to cook lunch.

* * *

SpongeBob was happily skipping through the wilderness, carrying a couple sticks in his right arm that he had gathered up while humming a little tune. He looked around the trees to see if any twigs had fallen off the branches, and once he found one, he picked it up, and did not expect who he saw.

"Ow!" Plankton said after falling backwards, presumably since he was lying on the stick SpongeBob had picked up. "What the barnacle was that all about?"

"Plankton?" SpongeBob shouted in shock as he dropped his sticks on the ground.

"Oh, SpongeBob, it's you?" Plankton said in a now friendly tone. "Fancy seeing you out here."

SpongeBob bent down on his knees to get a closer look at the single-cell organism. "What are you doing all the way out here?"

"Oh, you know…just getting away from city life to get some fresh air."

"Oh really?" SpongeBob replied, obviously buying the lie. "I sure wish I can say the same. Patrick, Squidward, and I are on a mission after Mr. Krabs wanted-" but before he could finish, his eyes bulged out and he suddenly broke into tears. "Ohhh! Mr. Krabs!"

Plankton stared at SpongeBob in agape as the sponge broke down onto the floor and sobbed violently over the loss of his boss.

"Uh…hey, kid," Plankton said in a calm tone over his sobs. "You're kinda creeping me out here." He said, reaching out to him.

But SpongeBob stood up and calmed down a bit. "I'm sorry, Plankton. It's just that ever since we lost Mr. Krabs…"

"What?" Plankton asked in surprise when he began to understand what SpongeBob was trying to say. "You mean Krabs is…"

SpongeBob began to sob again. "It's just too horrible to think about! Mr. Krabs sleeping with clams!"

But Plankton didn't seem saddened by this news and instead grinned. "This is better than I thought!" but then he caught himself before SpongeBob did and put on his best sympathetic look. "I mean, that's terrible, SpongeBob. Why don't you tell your ol' friend Plankton everything that happened?"

Even though Plankton was anything but a friend to him, SpongeBob decided to open up to the single-cell organism. "Well…Mr. Krabs took Squidward, Patrick, and me on a journey to destroy a cursed spatula that held the soul of a deceased fry cook into a volcano at the Arctic Ocean, and along the way… we lost Mr. Krabs forever. But despite all that, I decided that we have to finish the journey to free Hoagie Grindulas's soul from the spatula like Mr. Krabs would've wanted."

"Yeah, yeah, that's fascinating." Plankton nonchalantly said, from having to hear more than he wanted from SpongeBob's long-winded explanation. "About that cursed spatula…"

But SpongeBob went on, not noticing Plankton's behavior. "I just wish we knew where we were." He said in a sad tone. "I don't even know which way to go to the Arctic Ocean. If Squidward and Patrick find out, they'll be so disappointed."

An idea suddenly lit up in Plankton's eye. "You know, SpongeBob," he said in a smooth tone. "I think I might know the way to the Arctic Ocean."

SpongeBob eyes suddenly lit up in happiness as he regained his old giddy smile. "You do?"

"Of course I do." Plankton said with a smile, knowing SpongeBob was buying his new lie. "I…go over there every two months to ski."

Then Plankton suddenly turned around and began walking away. "Well, see ya." As he began to walk away, he smirked and muttered, "Three…two…one…"

"Wait, Plankton!" SpongeBob called as he got on his hands and knees to get as close as he can to Plankton height. "Please, will you show us the way there? We _need _your help! You're the only one who can get us to the Arctic Ocean!"

Unfortunately for Plankton, SpongeBob was a little _too_ close that his rancid breath was puffing all over his body. Plankton tried as hard as he could to fan it away. "First you should do something about your breath."

"Oh, sorry." SpongeBob apologized with a giggle as he stood on his knees. "It's been a while since I brushed my teeth." Then he whispered loudly to him, "There's no bathroom out here, you know."

"Yeah…" Plankton groaned in an annoyed tone until he coughed in his hand and put on a friendly smile. "But to get back on topic, I'll be glad to go to the Arctic Ocean with you, SpongeBob. I'd just love to help a friend in need."

"Thanks, Plankton." SpongeBob said with a warm smile as he sniffled as if about to cry. "You don't know how much this means to me."

"Yeah…just stop crying before you drown me with your tears again." Plankton said, deadpanned.

* * *

At the campsite that Patrick and Squidward had set up, Squidward was rummaging through Patrick's mini fridge. "When was the last time you cleaned this thing?"

"Oh, fellas!" SpongeBob called as he walked back over. "I'm back!"

Squidward looked over at SpongeBob and crossed his arms. "About time. Where's that firewood."

"Oops," SpongeBob peeped with a sheepish giggle, forgetting the job he had volunteered to do. "I kinda forgot the firewood back there." He got an eager grin. "But…instead, I picked up a new travel buddy!"

He held out his hand to show Plankton standing on his palm. He gave the sponge an annoyed look as he dully said, "Try to stop saying that as well."

Squidward was surprised to see Plankton all the way out here in the middle of nowhere. But Patrick just smiled and waved. "Hi, Mr. Plankton!" he greeted. "Are you really gonna be traveling with us?"

"You got that right…Patrick is it?" Plankton answered with a calm smile. "I'll be your new guide on our journey to the Arctic Ocean."

"Do you have a map?" Patrick asked.

"No." Plankton dully answered.

"Do you have marshmallows?"

"No."

"Do you know any road trip songs?"

"No."

While Patrick kept Plankton occupied with his pointless questions, Squidward pushed SpongeBob away to the others side of the campsite and quickly said, "SpongeBob, can I have a word with you?"

Once the two were alone, Squidward began saying, "Are you really expecting someone like Plankton to lead us to a volcano in the middle of a snow-covered wasteland?"

"Of course I do, Squidward." SpongeBob nodded with his positive smile. "I told I'd find a way for us to get to the Arctic Ocean."

"For all we know, he could be planning something right now, and you're too ignorant see that."

"That's silly, Squidward. Everyone knows I'm not arrogant."

Squidward sighed and walked away. "I give up."

SpongeBob did not notice his attitude, so instead, waved and called out, "Okay then! I'll just go get that firewood and start cooking with Hoagie!" he took out the golden spatula.

While Plankton continued to be bothered by Patrick, his eye widens when he sees the golden spatula sparkling in SpongeBob's hand.

"It's beautiful…" Plankton said to himself as he watched SpongeBob walk off with it. "It's precious…" he quickly shook his head to snap out of his daze. "Get it together, Plankton. I gotta find a way to get that spatula from the boob's possession."

He tapped his chin for a minute, and then snapped his fingers with a smile. "I got it! All I have to do is lead them on for a while, and when the time comes, I'll take that special spatula and leave them to wander around nowhere for decades!"

He finished concocting his plan with an evil laugh until he noticed Patrick staring at him, having listened to the whole thing. He coughed in his hand and added, "Which is what I _would_ do if I were evil and secretly plotting to dupe you all."

"Oh, okay," Patrick said, nodding in understanding. "Boy, you really had me for a second."

_It looks like they have a new travel companion with them. But it seems he has his own agenda in mind for the journey. Please review and tell me what you think._


	11. Chapter 11: Obsession

_Sorry for the wait. I got pretty busy with other stuff, but I now found the time to post the next chapter of "Keeper of the Spatula". But I worry SpongeBob might get a little too serious for himself in this chapter- though it's not without good reason. It might just be me being paranoid._

_See for yourself and enjoy…_

Chapter 11: Obsession

Later that same afternoon, the group- now including Plankton, had kelp beef for lunch which SpongeBob cooked on the campfire, using the golden spatula. With the spatula controlling SpongeBob's cooking, he managed to put on a fancy way of serving lunch, which entertained Patrick and Plankton. Squidward just complained that he was hungry and demanded that SpongeBob stop playing with the food and just give it to them instead.

SpongeBob eventually acquiesced and flipped all the kelp beef onto little handmade plates he made out of leaves and tossed them over to the three.

"Show-off." Squidward muttered as he turned his back to everyone and ate his lunch. He didn't think it was the most delicious or classiest meal, but when he was out in the wilderness with the chance of starving to death, he didn't care. It didn't help that the spatula didn't make it as well as it made krabby patties though.

Patrick, of course, had no trouble gulping down his kelp beef while Plankton was eyeing SpongeBob sitting on the ground with his back turned, presumably eating his lunch.

Plankton pushed his dish aside and crept over to where the sponge was sitting. Patrick decided to help himself to Plankton's disregarded food.

Once he got close enough to SpongeBob, he was surprised to see the sponge hadn't even touched his food and was still holding the spatula close.

"Hey there, SpongeBob." Plankton casually said, and then coughed in his throat, attempting to start an also casual conversation, "So…you're not hungry?"

SpongeBob stared down at him and smiled. "Oh yes, I'm starving actually." This was proven when his stomach growled from lack of food. "But I thought I'd just take some time to just observe the greatness that Hoagie and I made. I feel like I have to for some reason."

"Weirdo." Plankton muttered under his breath. "Say, SpongeBob, why don't you give me that spatula and I'll hold onto it while you eat."

"No!" SpongeBob quickly shouted as he held the spatula closer to his body. "I'm sorry, Plankton. But I just need to hold onto it for a while longer. I just can't seem to let him go right now."

"Yeah, sure, fine, whatever." Plankton responded with an odd look, but then turned around and gritted his teeth in frustration.

As he left the sponge alone, the four were unaware that from behind the plants and bushes, a strange shadow in the dark was watching them before it ran off into the unknown.

* * *

A couple minutes later, everyone finished eating (or everyone who chose to eat), and they all continued their journey to the Arctic Ocean. SpongeBob seemed to be holding the spatula closer to his face than he had before as well as humming to himself and spinning around with every other step he took.

He was unknowingly being watched by Plankton, who was walking right next to him. "This might actually be harder than I thought." He whispered to himself. "That twit is so glued to that spatula that I might never get the chance to take it. I better think of something fast."

And to make matters even more bizarre, SpongeBob got a large grin as he said to the spatula, "So you like krabby patties?" he asked the spatula as he kept it right on his cheek while retaining his ecstatic grin. "No fooling? Me too! Ha ah ah ah ah!"

"SpongeBob?" Patrick suddenly asked. "Who are you talking to?"

"Oh, it's just Hoagie, Patrick." SpongeBob answered. "He is such a riot to talk to." Then he held the spatula out toward Patrick. "Go ahead, Pat. Say hi to him."

Not knowing what else to do, Patrick just waved and greeted, "Hi." But he quickly noticed the spatula did not make any attempt to greet him back.

Patrick became quickly annoyed by this and pointed at it. "Hey! It's not polite to ignore people!" But again the spatula 'ignored' him and Patrick grabbed it by the stem. "I'll show you to be rude to me!"

Before Patrick could strangle it, SpongeBob quickly pulled it away and scolded him, "Dah ah ah! No touching, Patrick. Hoagie likes his personal space."

Squidward stopped walking ahead of them and shouted back to them, "Will you two stop playing with that stupid thing and get a move on?"

But SpongeBob seemed to take offense to that comment, "Hoagie's not stupid! He's a misunderstood fry cook that makes terrific krabby patties!"

He then glanced at the ground to see Plankton reaching for the spatula. But the single-cell organism quickly stands up straight with his hands behind his back. "You sure are right, SpongeBob." He said with a grin.

"Whatever." Squidward dismissed, rolling his eyes. "Are we even going in the right direction, Plankton?"

"Of course we are, Squidward." Plankton easily answered. "Would I lie to you?"

SpongeBob sighed sadly. "I wish we knew how close we were. Hoagie and I are getting tired already."

"Maybe if we can see where we were going, we would know if we're going the right way." Patrick suggested.

SpongeBob's eyes lit up as he smiled at his best friend, "Patrick, you genius, that's it! All we need is someone to scout ahead like they do in the movies and see if we're on the right trail."

"That is a good idea." Squidward sarcastically agreed. "But I'm not doing it."

"I'll volunteer." SpongeBob offered, raising his hand. "Hoagie and I both think it'll be the perfect job for us."

"Can I go too, SpongeBob?" Patrick asked hopefully.

"Sorry, Patrick, it's best you stay here." SpongeBob gently explained. "Hoagie and I will be fine by ourselves."

Though Patrick seemed disappointed at not being able to join his best friend, Plankton got between them and said, "I think this'll be great, SpongeBob. How about I hold onto that spatula for you so you won't lose it?"

"NO!" SpongeBob suddenly shouted as he held the spatula out of reach. "I…I mean…Hoagie and I will be fine together."

"'Hoagie and I, Hoagie and I'!" Squidward repeatedly complained as he walked over to them and faced SpongeBob. "What is with you? Since this afternoon, you've been acting weirder than usual; talking to that stupid spatula as if it were real."

"Hoagie is _not_ stupid!" SpongeBob yelled as he leaned closer to Squidward's face. "And he _is_ real! He's in this spatula and has been telling me a bunch of stuff since we're best friends!"

"W-What?" Squidward stammered, surprised by SpongeBob's response until he straightened himself. "Do you even hear yourself?"

"I thought I was your best friend, SpongeBob." Patrick pointed out, feeling hurt by the sponge's previous statement.

SpongeBob quickly caught what he had said and placed a hand on Patrick's shoulder. "You _are _my best friend."

"Look, gentlemen," Plankton quickly intervened with an obvious look of annoyance. "I hate to interrupt your personal dilemmas, but we have to keep traveling before night falls."

"Oh, you're right, Plankton." SpongeBob admitted and prepared to leave. "I better go do that scouting ahead thing."

Before they could say another word, SpongeBob ran off into the woods, gripping the spatula tight in his hands.

Squidward crossed his arms and turned away with a frown. "That little twerp is probably gonna lead us off a cliff for all we know." He muttered out loud.

"I don't think that rude spatula is a good friend for SpongeBob." Patrick said with a sad look. "He can't replace me like that."

Plankton ignored the comments by the two and glared toward where SpongeBob took off. "This isn't working." He said to himself. "I need something else to pry that sponge away from that spatula, but what?"

* * *

Meanwhile, SpongeBob was walking through the woods, looking for the right trail to walk on that'll lead them to the Arctic Ocean. But his mind seemed lost of this job and couldn't help but think of the way he behaved back there with his friends.

"This doesn't make any sense." He said to himself as he leaned back against a boulder. "Why would I say any of that? Patrick's my best friend, and I would never say any of that stuff I thought of saying to Squidward."

He looked at the spatula and continued saying, "What's happening to me?"

He stared at the spatula with its gold reflecting in sunlight. He continued staring at it as if expecting it to respond and answer all his questions.

SpongeBob then dropped his arms and turned his eyes upward with a large sigh. "Now that I think about it, it always seemed like they never wanted me around." His eyes widen with sudden horror, "They're probably waiting to get rid of me just like Mr. Krabs. I know they talk behind my back just trying to come up with a way to- NO!"

SpongeBob pounded his fists on the sides of his head and lay up against the boulder. "It's happening again! Those bad thoughts that make me wanna do bad things!"

He then bent over and clutched his stomach as if he were about to be sick. "Why would I think that?" he asked himself in an uncharacteristically somber way, "Squidward and Plankton would never do such a thing, and neither would Patrick- they love me!" Then he held the spatula in both his palms and stared at it with a pitiful smile. "And you would never do anything like this to me, would you, Hoagie?"

As he stared at the spatula once again like he was expecting an answer from it, his broken smile suddenly vanished and was replaced with a look of confusion.

"What?" he questioned to the spatula as he dropped to his knees, holding the spatula in the same position to his eyes. "What would they take from me? You know the thing we hold dear to our heart is-"

But before he could finish, he was cut off by a scream of three voices from behind him in the distance. He instantly recognized them and stood up.

"Oh no," he gasped in fright. "Patrick, Squidward, and Plankton are in trouble. I gotta hurry!"

* * *

He quickly pocketed the spatula and made his way back through the forest to help his friends.

Patrick, Squidward, and Plankton screamed in fright as they were surrounded by a group of strange fish in loincloths and tiki masks, pointing spears at the three.

"They got strange masks." Patrick noticed as he smiled. "Is it Halloween already?"

"Search their bags." One of the warriors instructed the others. "See if they have anything valuable."

"Is there candy in the bags?" Patrick asked Squidward.

When the warriors were searching the bags, the lead one shouted, "After you're done, eliminate them."

Squidward and Plankton both screamed in horror, but Patrick angrily shouted, "Hey, you're supposed to say 'Trick or Treat'!"

One of the warriors went over to the head one and whispered, "We remember seeing four travelers in the woods, but there are only three here."

"What?" the head warrior asked. "How is that possible? Did you miscount?"

"STOP!" SpongeBob shouted as he stood on a hill overlooking the predicament as his green cloak blew majestically in the wind for some strange reason.

"That's him!" the warrior shouted as he pointed at SpongeBob.

"SpongeBob!" Patrick called out to him. "Did you get any candy?"

When SpongeBob hopped off the boulder, the warriors immediately surrounded SpongeBob, pointing their spears at him.

SpongeBob giggled nervously and said, "I see your point, gentlemen. But do you think we can talk this out instead of hurting my friends?"

"Empty his pockets!" the head warrior ordered.

At this, one of the warriors held SpongeBob up by his ankles and started shaking him violently, causing a bunch of items to fall out of his knapsack and scatter on the floor. Among them was the golden spatula that fell out of his pocket. The warriors all stared at the glittering gold of the spatula, presumably having mesmerized looks behind their masks.

"The spatula!" Plankton shouted in worry.

"Spatula?" the head warrior questioned as he picked it up. "This golden treasure is a spatula used to flip provisions off a hot surface?

"You sure know you're way around a kitchen." SpongeBob noticed, still hanging upside-down. "You think you can hand that back to me?"

"You fool!" the head warrior shouted. "This will be going to our chief, who loves food more than anything. After we eliminate you, it will be his!"

SpongeBob's eyes widen as he viewed the spatula in the head warrior's grasp. But his look of shock suddenly disappeared into a look of rage. He then growled viciously and did a spin kick at his captor, causing him to let him go and fall to the ground.

Once SpongeBob was on his feet, he ran toward the other warriors with a cry of "HOAGIE!"

Squidward, Patrick, and Plankton watch in horror as SpongeBob uses his karate to take down all the tiki warriors that tried to attack them with their spears. The three wince and flinch as they watch the sponge kick and chop at all the warriors, knocking them to the ground unconscious with a shadow over them, showing his progress.

Once all the warriors were down at his feet unconscious, SpongeBob huffed and puffed with a strained look on his face before stepping on the head warriors arm, causing him to release his grip on the spatula and allowing SpongeBob to retrieve it.

After he immediately took hold of the spatula, SpongeBob's expression turned comforting as he cradled the spatula in his hands. "Oh, Hoagie, I'm so glad you're safe. I never wanted to let you go." He spoke in a warm tone.

Patrick then walked over to him. "Nice job, buddy. That'll teach those guys for not giving us candy on Halloween."

But once he approached, SpongeBob viciously yelled out, "BACK AWAY FROM US!"

This startled the starfish and almost brought him to tears, but SpongeBob quickly caught what he said and turned remorseful, "Oh my gosh, Patrick, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to yell at you, I just-"

Before he could apologize anymore, Squidward and Plankton went over to him. "Quick," Squidward said. "Before these freaks wake up, let's get out of here."

"Squidward's right." Plankton agreed. "They'll steal my- your spatula."

When the group was about to leave, the head warrior suddenly stood up. "Halt!" and pointed a spear at them.

SpongeBob gasped in shock and franticly began to beg, "Please don't hurt me, Mister! I didn't mean to whomp ya! I don't even know what came over me!"

"Silence!" he interrupted. But instead of attacking, he and the other warriors bowed down before SpongeBob. "You're bravery astounds us, yellow one. Please allow us to take you before our chief."

He stood there mystified until Squidward elbowed him, and SpongeBob responded, "Uh, gee, guys. I'm honored and all, but we still have a long way to go and we-"

But one of the warriors suddenly pounded his spear on the ground, almost squishing Plankton. SpongeBob took this as a threat and shrugged, "But if you insist, I'm sure a quick visit wouldn't hurt.

The head warrior led the way as SpongeBob and his friends followed him with no other choice, and the other warriors followed behind them.

_Yeah…maybe he was too serious or it could've just been him being influenced by someone- or something. Don't hold your breath cuz it's certainly not the last you'll see of it. Please review what you thought and I'll post the next chapter soon._


	12. Chapter 12: Deal of Our Lives

_Here's the next chapter of "Keeper of the Spatula". Last time, SpongeBob, Squidward, Patrick, and Plankton were captured by some maniacal tribe of natives, all the while SpongeBob is acting nutty and obsessive over Hoagie's golden spatula. How will they get out of this one?_

_Enjoy…_

Chapter 12: Deal of Our Lives

Later that night, the masked warriors brought SpongeBob, Patrick, Squidward, and Plankton to a village that was lit by torches and full of large wooden huts that were occupied by many other villagers.

"Is this the haunted house where we're supposed to get our candy?" Patrick asked as he glanced around.

"There has to be a manager around here we can speak to that'll be willing to let us leave this dump." Squidward commented.

"Okay, just a minor setback," Plankton whispered to himself. "Once we escape from these clowns, I can get the spatula and be home free."

Just then, the warriors escorting them stopped in front of the largest hut in the village and proceeded to kneel down.

The four watched as the head warrior stood before them and announced, "Please give all your attention to our wise and humble chief. He will be the one to decide your fates!"

The doors to the hut open up and a pale-green old-aged fish with a long white beard, two lazy eyes; wearing a brown loin cloth, beaded necklace, and tiki crown on his head. He was also really skinny for someone who is said to enjoy food a lot.

He held out his crooked staff and shouted in an old southern voice, "What strangers do you bring before my palace?"

"Travelers, my chief." The head warrior answered. "We proceeded to filch any valuable treasure we can bring to you."

SpongeBob quietly giggled as he whispered to Patrick, "'Filch'…that's a funny word."

As the two quietly snicker, the head warrior continued, catching their attention, "BUT, one of them refused to give up the most valuable possession we have come across."

"Refuses?" the Chief questioned in shock, and then moved his pupils forward so they could focus on Squidward, "What in sweet éclair's name causes you to disobey my royalty and not hand over the valuable that I so rightly desire?"

Squidward was crept out by this and quickly shook his head. "No, no, no, no, no! I'm not the one with any valuables on me!"

"My chief," the head warrior whispered. "The cephalopod is not the one we speak of. It is the yellow one."

"Yellow?" the Chief hollered in question again. "What yellow one is here? I don't see no yellow one-" but then his crooked eyes somehow managed to locate SpongeBob. "W-Well, so you're the yellow one who dares to defy me."

"Well…" SpongeBob nervously said as he wrung out his hands. "'Defy' is a strong word. I'd say more like…"

"So what makes you defy your chief?" the Chief demanded out loud.

"This, my chief." The head warrior answered as he poked SpongeBob with a spear and caused the spatula to drop out of his pocket, "A golden cooking utensil."

The Chief stared at the spatula, jaw-dropped, as the gold shined over his face. "I sure do definitely want somethin' like that. It'll go nicely next to my throne."

Once he reached down for it, SpongeBob suddenly sprung down on top of it with his body covering it from be taken. "NO!" he shouted to the Chief.

The warriors gasped along with Squidward, Plankton, and Patrick. "We're dead." Squidward muttered out loud.

"You dare defy my-"

"Yes!" SpongeBob interrupted the Chief as he grasped the spatula. "I do dare. Sorry, but I cannot let you take this spatula. It is precious to me and I already have solid plans for it."

"Do you see, my chief?" The head warrior whispered. "He refuses to give it up. He openly disobeys you and attacks anyone who tries to take it."

"Hmm…" the Chief pondered as he stared at SpongeBob's bold glare. "You, young man, you intrigue me."

"Oh, well…thanks." SpongeBob replied with a confused stare. "What do you mean?"

The Chief walked over to him and placed an arm over his shoulder. "That golden trinket you have. It is a thing called a 'spatula', ain't that correct?"

"Yeah."

"And you use it to cook things, right?"

"That's right." SpongeBob proudly answered. "Where I come from, I'm the best fry cook there is." he held up the spatula and grinned, "We both are."

The Chief laughed and slapped him on the back. "I like your style, boy! I tell you what, I happen to be a fan of gorgin' on the finest dishes there are, bein' a chief and all that. And since you is a chef, I want you to prepare me the most delicious meal you can come up with."

"Gee, that sounds like a real pleasure, but…" SpongeBob got a cautious look and explained, "I really have to get back on the road with my friends. Maybe some other time will be…"

"Maybe I ain't makin' this clear." The Chief said in an angry voice as he poked SpongeBob with his staff. "I want you to cook me somethin' yummy and if I don't get what I want, you ain't leavin'!"

He waved his staff and the warriors surrounded Squidward, Patrick, and Plankton with their spears. "Guys!" SpongeBob cried out.

"Now here's the deal." The Chief told SpongeBob as he blocked his path with his staff. "If you cook me up somethin' that I find enjoyable, I'll let you and your little friends go free. But…if I hate what you cook or you try 'n run away, it's bye-bye to them all…permanently."

SpongeBob gasped in shock along with Squidward, Patrick, and Plankton. The Chief then added to him, "Not to mention, my servants will be usin' you to clean my bathroom."

But the head warrior whispered, "You don't have a bathroom, Sir."

"Why, I know that!" the Chief replied with a mad chuckle as the sponge had an uneasy look on his face.

Then the Chief yelled out, "Take those three to the prison chamber! And bring this yellow boy into my kitchen!"

The warriors obeyed their chief and led Patrick, Squidward, and Plankton off in one direction while two of the warriors picked up SpongeBob by his arms and carried him into the Chief's palace hut.

* * *

The Chief's hut was very large for a building made of wood. SpongeBob was brought pass the Chief's throne room and into another room. He recognized it as a type of kitchen and complete with a table with meat, bread, lettuce, tomatoes, onions, and other fruits and vegetables. But due to a lack of modern technology, it only had a fireplace for cooking, a bucket of water, and handmade utensils.

The warriors dropped SpongeBob to his feet and one of them began explaining, "You are free to use any ingredients you will need to prepare the Chief's dish."

"But don't think of trying anything funny." The second one warned. "We will be standing guard outside the door."

The warriors left the kitchen and slammed the door behind them. SpongeBob stared at this and put on a weak smile. "Okay…" he gave a small wave to the door. "Thanks, guys."

Then, SpongeBob turned around to all his kitchen supplies. "I guess all of this will do." He said to himself with a positive tone. "I'm sure I can whip up the best dinner a chief has ever had." Then he pulled out the spatula and held it close. "And we'll do it together, won't we, Hoagie?"

As he held the spatula close, SpongeBob's grin suddenly disappeared and was replaced with a shocked look. "And if I don't make something he likes, Patrick, Squidward, and Plankton will be in big trouble. And I'll be stuck cleaning imaginary bathrooms."

He suddenly glared and spoke in a furious voice, "But why should I bother to help them? They never wanted me. They don't even appreciate all the delicious krabby patties I make."

Then his voice suddenly switched back into usual voice with a confused expression, "Why am I thinking that? They are my best friends and they're counting on me to help them."

Then his voice switched back to its angered voice, "But then again, Patrick is always such a slob when he eats my patties; never treating them with the proper care they deserve."

He once again got a smile and added in a cheery voice, "But he does love them and thinks they're delicious."

"And then, there's Squidward," SpongeBob continued in his rage-filled voice, "He just thinks krabby patties are a waste of time. Why didn't I see it before? I could've…"

"…smothered him with joy?"

"NO! And I can't forget Plankton. He's always been trying to take all the krabby patties I work too hard on! He's probably on this journey right now to take all my precious krabby patties for himself."

SpongeBob then furiously pounded his fist on the counter and accidently dropped the spatula on the ground. He gasped and quickly bent down to pick it up.

"Hoagie!" he cried out in his usual voice. "Are you alright?" he cradled the spatula in his hands. "I'm so sorry, Hoagie. I didn't mean to."

He stood up and thought to himself. "Gee…I was saying all that bad stuff again, wasn't I? I wonder why this keeps happening." But then he straightened himself up and got a determined look, "Barnacles! There's no time to wonder. We gotta get to work and save our friends." He looked down at the spatula. "Come on, Hoagie. It's time to start cooking."

_Just gotta say, I hate the Chief. He has to be the worst character I ever created! Fortunately, he'll only be appearing in this story and that'll be that. But oh well, SpongeBob's tearing up inside and only thinks he and Hoagie have anxiety LOL! Review what you think so far._


	13. Chapter 13: Taste Testing Trial

_Here's the next chapter of "Keeper of the Spatula". Not really much to say about this chapter except 'Will SpongeBob win and save his friends?'_

_Enjoy…_

Chapter 13: Taste-Testing Trial

Inside a small hut, two warriors where standing outside with their spears in hand, keeping guard to make sure the prisoners didn't try to escape.

Patrick was wandering around inside the dark hut, looking around. "The lighting in this haunted house is pretty spooky. But I still don't see any candy in here."

But Squidward was too sour to notice as he sat back against the wall with his elbows resting on his knees. "So it's come to this…" he said in a glum tone, "Captured by a tribe of native idiots run by a crazy old geezer; and my life rest in the hands of SpongeBob." Then he shouted at the top of his lungs, "Why can't they just kill me now?"

"Aw, it's not so bad, Squidward." Patrick assured with a smile. "Maybe SpongeBob found the candy. He'll definitely share with us."

"There is no candy and it's _not_ Halloween!" Squidward angrily pointed out. "What's really happening is we're trapped here and SpongeBob isn't gonna save us with the way he's been acting lately. He wouldn't save us even if he were acting like his normal moronic self."

Patrick thought about this and added, "Do you think maybe it has to do with Hoagie's spatula?"

"Spatula?" Squidward questioned, looking skeptical. "Are you saying you really believe what Krabs said before this whole thing started?" but then he placed his tentacle on his chin and pondered over this, "But then again, there is what that old bat Mertopia said. What was it again?"

"I think she said zeh cofoozoza ar sinno and-"

"In English, you bilingual boob!"

"Oh, I think she said the spatula is evil and that it could make your heart all evil and not nice."

"Well, that makes about as much sense." Squidward said leaning back against the wall. "All SpongeBob has been doing lately is obsessing over that stupid spatula. Am I really supposed to believe that the piece of junk he's been carrying around really is cursed and is taking over him as we speak?"

But Patrick just had a blank look on his face, "Who take over what?"

Squidward just went back to sulking about his predicament. "Forget it."

Meanwhile, Plankton was standing on the other side of the dark hut, avoiding Patrick and Squidward as he watched them from afar.

"Okay," Plankton said to himself. "This is taking longer than I anticipated." He growled in frustration. "Nothing's working. That fool SpongeBob seems to be glued to that spatula. He won't let it out of his sight for even a second. And if Squidward is starting to believe in that curse nonsense, then it must be true. What the barnacle am I supposed to do about that?"

Then he paused and heard voice outside the cloth door. He quietly peeked outside through a crack to see two warriors standing outside, keeping watch.

"So, did you hear about what happened to Jerry when he went up Payne Mountain?" one warrior asked the other.

"Oh yeah," the second one replied. "I heard he ran into 'her'."

"'Her'?" Plankton questioned to himself.

Not knowing he was listening, the two warriors just continued their conversation. "We tried to warn him not to go into that cave." The first warrior explained. "But he was certain he could finally defeat her. He was certainly _shocked_ when he realized he couldn't." the warrior finished with a chuckle.

"Everyone in these parts knows better than to enter her domain." The second commented. "Anyone who acts otherwise ends up being lunch for Eli."

After hearing this, Plankton gets a perplexed expression at the explanation of this creature known as 'Eli' who resides in a mountain cave and was apparently deadly.

* * *

Back in the Chief's hut, the old eccentric Chief was waiting in his throne until SpongeBob walked up pushing a cart with a large plate covered by a silver top and was escorted by two warriors.

"Well now, SpongeBoy-Bob, I assume that you brought me my supper." The Chief asked.

"Oh, yes, Sir." SpongeBob answered with a smile. "My spatula and I sure got the job done with no trouble at all."

The Chief cackled and responded, "Well, that's what I like to hear, yellow boy. Because if I don't like what I taste, your friends won't like what I'll make them taste."

He pointed in one direction, and SpongeBob followed it to see two warriors standing by Patrick (who smiled and waved), Squidward, and Plankton.

"Guys!" SpongeBob called out to them.

But the Chief cleared his throat and shouted, "Be silence, little yellow square boy! I believe our deal was that I taste what you cook for me; and if I like what you make, I'll be lettin' your friends go free. Now what is it that you chose to make for your chief?"

SpongeBob hesitated a bit until he lifted the lid off the plate to show that he had cooked about a dozen fresh krabby patties.

"What is this?" the Chief questioned as he stared at the patties. "I ain't never seen this before."

Squidward gulped in fright, fearing that the worst was about to begin. "They're called krabby patties, Sir." SpongeBob explained. "Where I come from, they're the most delicious thing to eat."

"Is that so?" the Chief asked as he suddenly grinned and chuckled. "Well, why don't I just be judging that?"

As he reached out for one, SpongeBob suddenly grabbed his wrist and stopped him. "Wait!" he shouted.

The Chief, Squidward, Patrick, the warriors, and even Plankton gasped at what they saw SpongeBob doing.

"Sponge," the Chief asked with a cynical chuckle. "Just what are you doing?"

"I can't just let you eat the krabby patties." SpongeBob explained as he placed his arms around the patties as if trying to hoard them. "You have to observe their beauty and preserve their wellness."

Squidward groaned and mumbled, "What is that idiot saying?"

The Chief stood from his throne and shouted, "I can't believe what I'm hearing! I order you to cook me a meal and instead you refuse to let me eat and demand I pree-serve the beauty and not eat 'em!"

SpongeBob gasped nervously and nodded. "Well…yes." He squeaked.

But then, the Chief's anger disappeared and he laughed out loud as he put his arm around SpongeBob. "Well, that is the most glorious thing I ever heard!" his laughter was joined by SpongeBob, who thought he had no choice but to join in. "As much as I love eatin' food, I never thought that my eatin' 'em all would keep 'em from lookin' as good as they taste."

"I'm glad you feel that way, Chief." SpongeBob happily replied.

"Now, genius frycook," the Chief began asking, "Mind if I have a bite of one? I still need to see if their taste is worth preservin'. Also, I won't be lettin' your friends go if I don't and you'll clean my bathroom."

SpongeBob took this into consideration and glanced at his captive friends before answering, "Okay."

The Chief contently turned to the plate of krabby patties and grabbed a patty. SpongeBob looked in horror as the Chief took a bite of the sandwich. He covered the spatula with his palm as if to keep it from viewing the horror of the Chief chewing his food.

When the Chief swallowed, he grew a smile on his face. "Why…I never tasted something so delectable in all my time as ruler of this here village." He turned to SpongeBob. "This is the best food I ever eaten!"

SpongeBob smiled in joy along with Patrick, Squidward, and Plankton, who cheered for joy at their freedom.

"Well, thank you for being a great customer." SpongeBob said with a smile to the Chief as he bowed. "Now I guess me and my friends better be going. We still got a long ways ahead of us."

When SpongeBob turned around and began to take a step forward, the Chief suddenly yelled, "Now hold up there, yellow chef!" SpongeBob turned back around as the Chief continued, "You ain't leaving!"

"Huh?" Squidward questioned in confusion while Plankton and Patrick had puzzled looks as well.

"But- But I thought you liked my krabby patties." SpongeBob pointed out. "We had a deal."

"Why, I did like your meal, boy." The Chief explained with a smile. "Your friends are free to go wherever they please. But I want you to stay here forever and be my new personal chef. I want you to make me those krabby patties, as you call 'em, whenever I want."

SpongeBob stood there in shock at the Chief's backstabbing move. But Squidward just smiled and waved, "Well, SpongeBob, it's been a real pleasure." He contently walked away from the warriors. "Have fun with your new job."

"Wait!" SpongeBob's voice shouted as he talked with the Chief. "I have you be honest with you. Yes, I do make krabby patties. But I didn't make the ones you loved so much." He pointed at the spatula in his hand. "It was him. He is the one who makes the most delicious patties in the whole sea and its original maker."

The Chief stared blankly at him, but then chuckled. "Heh, heh, well…since you tell me that…" he pointed his staff at SpongeBob. "Guards! Take that spatula and throw these inferior bein's outta here!"

The warriors pointed their spears at SpongeBob and began to slowly approach him to take the spatula for their leader. SpongeBob gasped and turned around in an attempt to make a run for it. But he tripped on a crack in the floor and stumbled forward, losing his grip on the spatula. He gasped as the spatula flew through the air.

But it managed to land in the hands of Squidward Tentacles. "What the…" he asked, staring at the spatula.

He turned his head to see the warriors charging at him with their spears pointed. He screamed in horror and ran off. Squidward looked at the spatula in his hand and decided to quickly get rid of it by tossing it in the air.

"I'm open! I'm open!" Patrick shouted as he saw the spatula flying in the air and he quickly caught it.

He then ran away while chuckling excitedly, and then stopped in front of a warrior who pointed his spear at him. Instead of resisting, Patrick willingly tossed the spatula into his hands. "You're it!" he pointed before running away, laughing.

The warrior just stood there and stared at the spatula until SpongeBob shouted, "No!" and tackled him to the ground, causing the spatula to fall out of his grip and slide across the ground.

It was caught by Plankton, who lifted the spatula above his head. "At last!" he shouted in triumph. "It's finally mine! Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!" he began to quickly make his way to the exit, "Now to make my hasty escape."

But before he could anywhere far, Patrick suddenly belly flopped on top of him. The starfish then grabbed the spatula and stood up. "Steal!" he shouted before running away, giggling.

Plankton just laid there on the ground, crushed by the Patrick's tackle. "Oww…" he ground in pain.

As Patrick ran away with the spatula, chuckling, he was suddenly whacked across the face by one of the warriors with his spear. The starfish fell to the ground and the warrior grabbed the spatula and ran away with it.

But then, SpongeBob slid underneath the warrior and pulled the spatula away. He ran away, hugging the spatula close in glee. But when his eyes were closed, he accidentally bumped into Squidward and both fell backwards. Squidward held his head and glared at SpongeBob. "Watch where you're going, idiot." He told him.

But suddenly the two were dog-piled by practically all the warriors in the room in an attempt to grab the spatula. However, the spatula slid on the ground away from the group and came to a stop at the feet of the Chief, who picked it up in triumph.

"Yes! YES, I'VE GOT IT!" The Chief yelled in triumph as he held up the golden spatula. "My magical chef to make me all them krabby patties I want! It's mine forever!"

"NO!" SpongeBob's voice shouted out.

The Chief stopped gloating and turned his attention to SpongeBob, who had got out of the pile of warriors and Squidward, and was now standing and breathing heavily with an enraged look on his face. He clenched his hands and spoke in-between breaths, "My spatula…my precious spatula…it's mine…mine…HOAGIE!"

Then he suddenly screamed and leapt forward and tackled the Chief down to the ground. Squidward and Patrick watched in shock and horror at the extreme measures SpongeBob took as he wrestled the elderly chief in order to reclaim his spatula. The three winced and averted their eyes at the punching, kicking, and muffled grunts and curses they were witnessing.

Afterwards, SpongeBob was standing on top of the defeated Chief with the spatula in his hand and the tiki crown that had somehow ended up on his head. Like last time, SpongeBob's rage has somehow vanished as he snuggled the spatula closely.

"Are you okay, Hoagie?" He asked in a consoling tone, "I wasn't gonna let that mean 'ol chief take you away."

The defeated Chief groaned in pain at SpongeBob's feet, and then passed out unconscious. The warriors stared at this, and then began to approach them. Squidward, Patrick, Plankton, and SpongeBob gasp at this. But instead of attacking again, they got on their knees and bowed before the sponge.

"We are at your service, my chief." The heard warrior told SpongeBob as he bowed.

"Chief?" SpongeBob questioned. "I'm no- Oh!" he quickly understood everything and cleared his throat before speaking out loud, "In that case, loyal subjects! Assist me and my friends in preparing for our continuing journey!"

* * *

The next early morning, Plankton was waiting outside the village entrance while SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward prepared for the journey. Plankton smirked in satisfaction as an idea formed in his head.

"It's now or never." Plankton told himself. "I'm through playing games to get that spatula. It seems that as long SpongeBob is alive, he'll never let go of that spatula. And I know just the _thing _to take care of that." He laughed evilly, but quickly stopped, "But as long as he has his idiot bodyguards with him, this could turn out more complicated than I thought. Which is why in order for me to complete this plan, I must separate him from Patrick and Squidward."

After he formed his evil plan, SpongeBob, Squidward, and Patrick arrived at the gate after regaining their bags and items. SpongeBob waved to the warriors and shouted, "Thanks for letting us out, guys! Good luck with your new chief!"

The warriors all waved their spears in goodbye along with the head warrior, wearing the tiki crown on his head after being named chief by SpongeBob. The three met up with Plankton, who sat at the entrance for them.

"Sorry to keep you waiting, Plankton." SpongeBob apologized with a smile.

"It's no trouble, SpongeBob." Plankton said with a friendly smile. "I'm ready to keep going. In fact, I know a shortcut to the Arctic."

"You do?"

"Yes," Plankton nodded and began to lead the way. "Just follow me. It's actually not too far from here."

_Looks like Plankton is taking different measures to getting the spatula. Will it work? Review what you think._


	14. Chapter 14: Climb to the Future

_Here's the next chapter of "Keeper of the Spatula". SpongeBob and friends continue their way to the Arctic Ocean. Will they find their way this time? _

_Enjoy…_

Chapter 14: Climb to the Future

Later that afternoon, SpongeBob, Patrick, Squidward, and Plankton were walking through a dim forest. However, unlike all the other forest they've been through the past couple days; this one seemed a bit on the downer side: no grass and lifeless trees everywhere you look.

"Are you sure about this shortcut to the Arctic Ocean?" Squidward asked Plankton, who had told them of this shortcut he heard.

From atop of SpongeBob's head, Plankton answered his question with a calm smile. "Of course I am. After all, I did say I'd get ya there."

"That you did." SpongeBob said with a smile. "I do like shortcuts after all."

"Who doesn't?" Squidward added as he dourly put the hood of his cloak over his head to cover his face. "The sooner this nightmare ends the better."

While walking, SpongeBob glanced over at Patrick, who was a little ways next to him and asked, "Hey, Pat, you still have the krabby patties I made back in the village, right?"

Patrick pointed the mini fridge on his back toward SpongeBob and answered with a smile, "I sure do. All safe and sound in order to be preserved."

"You're the best, Patrick." SpongeBob said with a thankful smile.

"Can I scout ahead this time?" Patrick asked eagerly.

"You sure can, pal."

Patrick cheered in excitement and ran ahead to do the scouting. Plankton watched this from atop of SpongeBob's head and suddenly smirked as an idea formed in his mind.

"Hey SpongeBob," he began saying in a casual tone. "You sure are lucky to have traveling companions like Patrick and Squidward on your side."

"I know, aren't they great?" SpongeBob sighed as he got a small smile. "I would have never made it this far without them."

"Yeah, that's fantastic." Plankton nonchalantly said until he spoke in a serious tone, "But are you sure you can really trust them?"

This made SpongeBob confused. "What do you mean?"

"Well, that golden spatula you're carrying makes the most delicious krabby patties anyone in this world will ever taste." Plankton explained. "Anyone would want it…even them."

SpongeBob thought about this and quickly glanced behind him to see Squidward just walking with an expressionless frown as his hood covered his head; and then looked back ahead of him to see Patrick running left and right as his way of scouting what was ahead.

The sponge shook his head and tried to smile again. "That's crazy talk, Plankton." He said as he waved his hand in disbelief. "Patrick and Squidward are my best friends. They'd never do something like that."

"I don't know, SpongeBob." Plankton singsongs with a smile, "Sooner or later, they might just ask you if they can carry the spatula themselves."

"Come on, Plankton, be real." SpongeBob said in a confident tone. "I trust them as my friends. I know them too well enough for that." As he spoke, he pats his right pocket that held the golden spatula in question.

When Patrick was walking, he suddenly bumped into a stone wall and stared up at it when he noticed it. "Hey guys," he turned toward the three. "There's a strange wall of infinite mass blocking our way."

"That's called a mountain, Patrick." Plankton explained in his friendliest tone. "It was made by nature."

"Well, this is just great." Squidward said in disappointment as he removed his hood. "It's gonna take us days just to get around this thing."

"Which is why we're going _over_ it." Plankton pointed out with an excited grin.

But Squidward was shocked by the idea. "What?"

SpongeBob didn't seem too comfortable with the idea either. "I don't know, Plankton." He said in a nervous tone as he shifted his feet. "The last time we went through a mountain, that's when we lost…" tears suddenly began to form in his eyes. "Mr. Krabs…"

Plankton was not amused by this. "You're not seriously gonna do that every time someone says his name, are you?" he asked deadpanned.

He hopped onto the ground in front of SpongeBob and put on his friendly smile. "Come on, SpongeBob." He said enthusiastically. "You don't wanna give up after coming this far just because of some little mountain standing in your way, do you?"

SpongeBob glanced away in uncertainty. "Well…"

"You haven't forgotten your promise, have you?" he reminded in determination. "You're gonna help Hoggle…"

"Hoagie." Squidward dully corrected.

"…You're gonna help Hoagie get out of that spatula and set free his soul."

"YEAH!" SpongeBob shouted in joy as he regained his smile. "I won't give up on Hoagie! We're gonna climb that mountain!"

"Yay!" Plankton cheered with a joyous grin.

"Now that's more like it, SpongeBob!" Patrick said in excitement and turned back to the wall. "You hear that mountain? We're gonna climb you and we're not gonna stop!"

And at that, Patrick grabbed a hold of a ledge and began climbing his way up. SpongeBob ran over to the wall and watched his best friend climb. "Patrick, wait up!"

But Patrick would not stop climbing and just kept grabbing all the free ledges and used them as support for his hands and feet, letting small rocks and pebbles slide down below. However, Patrick wasn't used to physical exercise like this and he began to slow down and pant in exhaustion as he tired out.

SpongeBob bellowed out to him, "Patrick, are you okay up there?"

As Patrick panted and sweat in exhaustion, his grip on the mountain loosened and he fell backwards. SpongeBob screamed for the safety of his friend- but this was greatly exaggerated…Patrick had only climbed four feet up the mountain and fell down with a soft flop.

SpongeBob immediately rushed over to his best friend and knelt down beside him as he took a canteen out of his bag. "There, there, buddy." He said in a comforting tone as he held the back of Patrick's head before he bit the cork off the canteen with his teeth and began giving Patrick water. "I got ya."

Squidward walked over to them. "Well, that just proves we're never gonna get to the Arctic at this rate. Let's just go around."

"Wait!" Plankton yelled as he walked over. "We have to go over the mountain. Otherwise…it could take us longer than expected just to make it before winter rolls around."

Squidward stared at him in disbelief. But Plankton continued on, "Trust me, I did a bit of mountain climbing in my day. If anyone can get us up this mountain, it's me. Do you have a bit of rope on you, Squidward?"

Squidward complied and took off his travel pack and reached inside until he pulled out a long piece of rope. Plankton ran off with it and ran around Patrick, tying one end of the rope around his body.

"Are we playing Secret Agent?" Patrick asked with a smile. "I love that game."

"No, you dim-witted buffoon." Plankton answered. "This is a tool that groups of professional mountain climbers use. We all tie a string of rope to ourselves that way if one of us loses grip, we won't fall to our death."

SpongeBob gulped at the thought of it. "Are you sure it's safe up there, Plankton?" he asked in a small voice.

"Of course I'm sure." Plankton said on the edge of losing his patience. "Now let's go already before I lose more than my grip."

He tossed the rope to SpongeBob and walked off ahead. After which, Squidward walked over and snatched the rope away and tied it around his waist. "Let's just get this over with."

Soon, the four were all tied together and began to make their way up the mountain. This became one instant where SpongeBob was thankful he had fingers, or trying to grab hold of the slippery ledge would be more difficult than it already was. Squidward did the same as he followed behind SpongeBob, his forehead sweating as he held Patrick at the same time, who was hanging by the rope, swinging back and forth in enjoyment.

"That's it." Plankton said as he sat atop SpongeBob's head, "Just a little further, boys."

After they climbed half-way up the mountain, SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward began to slowly walk alongside the ledge on the side of the mountain with their backs firmly against the wall as they inch their way across. Squidward desperately tried to keep his eyes upward in an attempt to not look down at the long drop below.

An hour later, the group went through a short tunnel going through the mountain. When they exited the tunnel, they came out onto a large stable ledge which Patrick collapsed on. SpongeBob went over to help him up.

"SpongeBob," Patrick said as he looked up. "I'm tired and hungry."

"I know, Patrick. I am too." SpongeBob responded in a low tone as he held his best friend. "Maybe we should rest here for a while."

"For once, I agree with you." Squidward said before turning his head to look out at the darkening sky. "Let's just rest here and get some sleep."

Plankton didn't seem thrilled with the idea, but after taking into consideration that the ones who actually did the climbing should try and get their energy back for the rest of the way, he eventually agreed.

SpongeBob flopped on his back and stared up at the gloomy gray sky which clashed with his usual optimistic smile that was now on his face along with the cold gray stone that surrounded him.

He rested his arms behind his head and folded his legs to try and relax for a bit. "Hey guys?" he asked, trying to start up a conversation. "What are we all gonna do once we get back home to Bikini Bottom?"

"What are you saying, SpongeBob?" Patrick asked curiously as he went over to SpongeBob and sat by him.

"Well, I was thinking…Once we free Hoagie's soul and return home, do you think we'll be praised by everyone as heroes for all the hard work we've done?"

"Wow," Patrick said amazed. "I hadn't even thought of that."

Then Squidward entered their conversation. "As much as I myself think I deserve that, all we're doing is throwing a spatula into a volcano. There's nothing heroic about it."

"Aww man." Patrick groaned and lowered his head in disappointment. "I wanted to be a hero."

SpongeBob placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. "It's okay, Patrick. You'll always be a hero to me. In fact, I think we're all heroes for the favor we're all doing for Hoagie." Patrick brightened up a bit at this. "So tell me, Pat. What are you gonna do once we get back?"

"Oh, you know," Patrick easily answered. "I'm gonna eat a sandwich, sleep in bed, and send Clarice another pen."

"Wow, that's fascinating." SpongeBob said with a smile. "Maybe you should 'add an exciting day of jellyfishing with your best friend' to that list. After all, who could forget the miraculous encounter we had with a certain jellyfish a couple days ago?"

He and Patrick share a laugh while Squidward did his best to ignore them and eat some bread he pulled out of Patrick's fridge. But it wasn't long till SpongeBob decided to invite him in anyway.

"Hey Squidward," SpongeBob called as he sat up to face him. "What are you gonna do once we get back home."

Squidward swallowed a piece of the bread and turned his head toward the two. "Well, if you must know," he began answering. "The first thing I'm gonna do is take a bath in order to wash this filth of the wilderness off of my skin, and then go back to living the horrible life I'm forced to endure every day."

SpongeBob giggled innocently at this. "You must be itching to get back now." Then he turned to his other side to see Plankton leaning against the stone wall, minding his own business. "How about you, Plankton? What are gonna do?"

"Me?" Plankton asked until he thought about it and smiled. "Why, I'll be running a successful restaurant known as the Chum Bucket, serving irresistible food which no mortal can't help but enjoy, all the while plowing the Krusty Krab out of business."

He finished off with an evil laugh, not realizing that SpongeBob had stopped listening and got a look of concern on his face.

"That's right…" the sponge said as he lied back down. "Now that Mr. Krabs is gone, what's gonna happen to the Krusty Krab?"

"Who cares?" Squidward said as he placed his travel pack on the ground and lied on top of it. "It'll either be run by someone else or shut down. And if we're lucky, it'll be the latter."

He faced his back toward SpongeBob and went to sleep, but SpongeBob lied on the ground, looking even more concerned about the future than he already did. "But that can't possibly be the end. Going back home and never making krabby patties again. I just can't live with that."

"Don't worry, SpongeBob." Patrick said with his eyes closed as if he were about to fall asleep any second. "That can be something else we can do once we get back home…. Think of a way…to…" but before he could finish, he started snoring loudly, now fast asleep.

SpongeBob couldn't really guess what Patrick was gonna suggest that would help solve his problem. But knowing Patrick like he did, it was probably something that would truly help him. Afterwards, SpongeBob yawned and closed his eyes to get some well-deserved sleep before they had to start another hike over the mountain.

"Oh, don't worry, SpongeBob." Plankton said sinisterly as he rested against the wall, far from the group. "Maybe if you do the right thing and give me the spatula, you can come work for me and help the spatula cook dozens of krabby patties to make me successful."

He gave one more evil chuckle before closing his eye and going to sleep with a confident grin.

_Time for some rest and relaxation before continuing over to the mountain. Tell me what you think and the next chapter will be up soon._


	15. Chapter 15: High Tension Waters

_Neat, a new chapter! A little drama in this one…and more OOC SpongeBob. Isn't this fun? Not for the people around SpongeBob though…_

_Enjoy…_

Chapter 15: High Tension Waters

Later in the early evening (sky was still gray so it was hard to tell), Plankton had opened his eye and sat up to see SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward still asleep by the ledge of the cliff. Plankton smirked and quietly snuck over to Patrick's mini fridge.

"Time for Plan: Separate-Idiot-From-Idiots." Plankton said to himself as he opened the fridge to see SpongeBob's three krabby patties sitting inside.

He pulled them out and struggled to carry all three at the same time. He wobbled over to the edge of the cliff and suddenly dropped them over the ledge.

"Phew," Plankton sighed in exhaustion as he stared at the patties drop down out of sight. "In all my years of work, I never thought the day would come when I'd have to do something like that. But soon, it'll all be worth it." He smirked as he pulled out a chunk of lettuce. "Now to set the crumb."

He quietly snuck over to Squidward and carefully planted the lettuce on his cloak. Afterwards, Squidward yawned and stretched as he woke up while Plankton stood there with an innocent-looking grin as he placed his hands behind his back. He sat up looking sleep-eyed as he looked around. "What time is it?"

SpongeBob and Patrick woke up as well with the sponge jumping up as he stretched his arms out in an enthusiastic way. "What a good sleep." He said cheerfully. "It's true what they say about the outdoors."

Patrick then got SpongeBob's attention, "SpongeBob, I'm hungry. Can we eat breakfast?"

"Sure thing," SpongeBob nodded as he ran over to the fridge. "I'll get us something."

While Squidward gathered his things and Plankton quietly chuckled in delight, SpongeBob opened up the fridge and immediately noticed something out of sorts. "Hey, guys!" he called out. "Where are the krabby patties I made the other day?"

"How should I know?" Squidward answered. "It wasn't my job to watch them."

Patrick walked over to SpongeBob as he tossed everything out of the fridge to search for them. "Are you sure they're not just invisible?" Patrick asked.

"Of course I'm sure." SpongeBob answered franticly as he held the empty fridge up and shook it before tossing it aside. "This isn't happening!" he shouted in panic. "Where could they have gone?" he turned to Patrick and grabbed his cloak. "You didn't eat them, did you?"

"I don't know, did I?" Patrick asked, looking worried as he held his head. "What if I did? Is that bad?" but to answer his question, they both heard his stomach growl, showing that he hadn't eaten anything in a while.

But this made SpongeBob panic even more. "Oh no! What happened to them? This is an emergency!"

"SpongeBob, will you relax?" Squidward said as he approached them. "This isn't a big deal! The only emergency here is that you just tossed all our food onto the soiled ground."

"Squidward!" SpongeBob called out as he grabbed his shirt. "You haven't seen them, have you?"

"I already said I didn't!" Squidward shouted as he pushed SpongeBob off of him. "Now shut up and let's get moving."

"He's right, SpongeBob." Plankton said as he walked up to them. "As terrible as this is, we have to get moving. It'll get late if we don't-" but then he suddenly got a stunned look. "Wait a minute!" he pointed at Squidward. "What is that?"

"What?" Squidward asked as he looked on his cloak to see something green and leafy on it. "Eww, what _is_ that?"

SpongeBob pulled it off and began sniffing it. He narrowed his eyes and answered, "Lettuce…from one krabby patty." He angrily tossed it on the ground and pointed an accusing finger at Squidward. "So it _was_ you!"

"Me?" Squidward yelled in response. "Why would I eat your precious krabby patties?"

"I saw the way you were looking at them back in the village!" SpongeBob explained in a frenzied voice that sounded almost mad. "You were jealous that I kept them for us! Yeah, for me and Hoagie." Then he eyes filled with tears as he took the spatula out of his pocket and he began to gently stroke it. "And you ate them when they should've been cherished for their beauty and innocence."

"I guess that was pretty mean of Squidward, huh SpongeBob?" Patrick spoke up.

But SpongeBob turned to Patrick and lashed out at him as well. "Don't talk to me like that, Patrick Star! I saw you acting the same way as well! You wanted those patties just as much as he did and you were plotting to take them until Squidward beat you to it!"

Patrick was so hurt by SpongeBob's harsh words that his eyes began to water. "I was?" his lips quivered as tears dropped down his eyes. "Oh, I should've known. You have every right to be mad at me, SpongeBob."

But Squidward crossed his arms and yelled at the sponge. "Barnacles, SpongeBob, have you lost your mind?"

"There you go again, pretending like you don't know anything!" SpongeBob continued shouting at his two best friends. "I know the truth! You never appreciated me or handled krabby patties the way they deserved to be handled!" then he again stroked the spatula. "There, there, my precious Hoagie. Our patties are all gone thanks to him, but we can make more, can we? Yeah, that's right."

Squidward was disturbed at the sight he was seeing. But then, he decided that enough was enough with SpongeBob's abnormal behavior. "That's it!" he shouted before extending his tentacle to SpongeBob. "Give me the spatula."

"What?" SpongeBob asked in shock as he stared at Squidward.

"You heard me!" Squidward responded impatiently as he kept his tentacle out at SpongeBob. "Give me the spatula and I'll carry it the rest of the way."

Suddenly, SpongeBob's eyes widen in horror as he remembered Plankton's warning to him from the previous day. He shook his head clear and glared furiously at Squidward as he held the spatula from his view. "No!" he shouted childishly.

"Don't make me take it from you!" Squidward warned as he inched closer to SpongeBob.

"No!" SpongeBob shouted once again. "I'm Hoagie's keeper! And Mr. Krabs trusted me to carry it the whole way!"

"Mr. Krabs isn't here anymore! And you don't deserve to carry it anymore with the way you've been acting! Now give it here!" he quickly grabbed a hold of the spatula, and once he did, he became even more angry than ever and growled furiously at SpongeBob. "You're spoiled, that's what you are! You waste all your time doting over disgusting junk food!"

SpongeBob tugged the spatula towards himself and shouted back in the same manner. "You're wrong! Krabby patties are the greatest thing in the sea! And you're in a barnacle heap of wrong if you think I'm gonna let you talk that way about 'em!"

"Oh…Look who finally grew a vertebrae!" Squidward spat as he tugged the spatula his way. "You wouldn't know art if it hit you in the face! Unlike my own which are complete works of gold!"

"Krabby patties _are_ gold!" SpongeBob yelled after tugging the spatula.

"It's nothing compared to the wonderful joy of my clarinet!" Squidward shouted after tugging the spatula. "I can enchant the minds, unlike you who never even appreciated anything I do!"

SpongeBob grunted as he tried as hard as he could to pull the spatula from Squidward's grip, "Because you never appreciated me or anything Hoagie and I do!"

Squidward did the same as he yelled, "Hoagie doesn't deserve to be carried by you, grease-fryer sea monkey!"

"Mean musician man!" SpongeBob yelled back.

Squidward again tugged on the spatula. "Annoying little loofa!

"Big cranky cephalopod!" SpongeBob yelled as he tugged the spatula his way.

The two continued trading insults while fighting over the spatula. However, it was apparent by some mysterious way that each time SpongeBob and Squidward tugged the spatula their way; they somehow knew just what insult to call the other. But this did not dawn on either of them since they were too blinded by their greed and anger.

"Sandwich-loving hole-filled little brat!"

"Suction-cup big-nose painter!"

Patrick and Plankton watched the whole thing from afar. Plankton seemed to be enjoying watching the conflict go down, but Patrick seemed rather bothered by it.

Squidward began to tug on the spatula harder that it almost lifted SpongeBob off his feet, "Give me that spatula, you good for nothing vile cheesehead!"

But SpongeBob retaliated by using all his strength to drop back on the ground and tug the spatula away, "Never, you smelly inky slimy calamari-butt!"

Afterwards, SpongeBob and Squidward growled and raised their fist at each other which then led to violent fighting. They rolled around on the ground, punching, kicking, and shouting at each other as they tried taking the spatula from each other. Plankton giggled in excitement as he watched SpongeBob and Squidward in their dust cloud of brawl. But Patrick suddenly frowned in anger and marched over to them.

He stopped right next to them and yelled at the top of his voice, "STOP IT!"  
Suddenly, the two froze in place with SpongeBob grabbing Squidward's nose and Squidward pulling SpongeBob by his tie, and both their free hand grasped onto the spatula. They both were glancing up at Patrick, surprised to see him intervening.

"You guys shouldn't be fighting." Patrick calmly explained to the two. "You're supposed to be friends. Even though it's true that Squidward never appreciates the krabby patties SpongeBob makes, and SpongeBob never appreciates Squidward's art and clarinet playing; that doesn't matter. What really matters is deciding who's carrying the spatula by feuding over your differences and deciding whose personal prized possession is more important and should be treated with more respect."

If Patrick's speech was supposed to help matters, it certainly didn't; because SpongeBob and Squidward growled at each other once again and went right back to fighting over the spatula and shouting insults and swears at each other as they rolled away on the ground from their fight.

During the fight, SpongeBob grabbed a hold of Squidward's right arm and bit down on it with his buckteeth, causing him to loosen his grip on the spatula, "Ow!" he cried out in pain as SpongeBob took the opportunity to seize the spatula.

When SpongeBob got up and ran away with the spatula, a scuffed up Squidward stood up and held his arm. "You little savage!" he shouted angrily at SpongeBob. "You bit me!"

"You made me do it, Squidward." SpongeBob responded agitatedly, looking scuffed up from the fight as well. "You betrayed me and tried to steal Hoagie from me! You monster…"

"You're the monster, SquarePants!" Squidward shouted, pointing a tentacle at him. "You've changed ever since we went on this stupid journey! And all I know is that I'm through with going any further to destroy that spatula!"

"Fine then!" SpongeBob yelled back. "I don't need you! I can get to the Arctic myself!"

"But what about me, SpongeBob?" Patrick asked, looking bemused. "Don't you mean 'myself and me'?"

"No, Patrick," SpongeBob bitterly said, turning away. "I'm going the rest of the way only by myself. You can just go back home."

Patrick began to cry again. "But…but…"

SpongeBob ignored his best friend's crying and turned to Plankton and spoke in an uncharacteristically cold voice, "Plankton…would you mind showing me the rest of the way to the Arctic?"

"Not at all, SpongeBob, my friend." Plankton responded in a friendly tone. "Let's get going."

SpongeBob pocketed the spatula and grabbed his knapsack before following Plankton further up the mountain, not even taking one more glance at his two former companions before disappearing out of sight.

Squidward huffed and turned in the opposite direction to begin his long journey back home. Patrick turned to see Squidward grab his stuff before heading down the mountain, and then looked back toward the direction that SpongeBob left. He bowed his head and moaned sadly at the fact of losing his best friend forever and hurt by the unkind words he had said.

_Should the jerk formally known as SpongeBob right to have left or is he making the mistake of leaving his only really trustworthy companions behind? Who's the real one at fault here? Gah! So many questions I'm asking! Anyway, please review what you thought of the chapter and stick around for the next chapter._


	16. Chapter 16: Shocking Betrayal

_Here's the next chapter of "Keeper of the Spatula". Last time, SpongeBob separated from Squidward and Patrick, and left with Plankton to continue the journey himself. Was this a good decision?_

_Find out…_

Chapter 16: Shocking Betrayal

An hour later after SpongeBob separated from his friends and went with Plankton to continue his journey to the Arctic Ocean, the sponge was struggling as hard as he could to climb up cliffs and keep himself balanced over ledges. The only thing that could make it harder was if it rained- but SpongeBob refused to say it as if it would tempt fate.

When SpongeBob climbed close to the top of the mountain, Plankton jumped off of SpongeBob's head and onto the ledge as the sponge climbed up and flopped on the ground.

"Nice job, SpongeBob." Plankton said with an encouraging smile. "We made it."

"…Great." SpongeBob said with an exhausted tone.

"Now all we have to do is cross this cave over to the other side and we'll be closer than ever before."

"I don't know, Plankton." SpongeBob said nervously. "Last time I went through a cave was when we lost Mr. Krabs. The last thing I'd wanna do is lose another friend."

"Don't worry, SpongeBob." Plankton assured. "Those two idiots aren't here to slow you down anymore."

SpongeBob wasn't sure if what Plankton said was supposed to make him feel better or not, but the singe-cell organism went on, "The only way down is to cross this cave. I'll bet it's as safe in there as anything can get."

"Well…okay." SpongeBob put on a determined look. "I'll do it."

He began to march his way toward the cave while Plankton waved to him. "I'll be right behind you all the way, SpongeBob." But once SpongeBob was out of earshot, Plankton chuckled evilly. "Let's just hope this Eli person is enough to get SpongeBob to drop that spatula."

* * *

Meanwhile, Squidward was carefully making his way down the mountain in order to start his long road home. However, he missed his step and ended up falling on his face when trying to slide down.

Squidward groaned in pain as he stood up, but then angrily grunted, still fuming over what had happened earlier. "Little ingrate…" he mumbled as he continued onward. "I waste a whole week of my life helping him on this journey from heck and what do I get?" then he turned around to notice someone missing, "Patrick, hurry up or I'll leave you behind! And I will!"

"Sorry," Patrick said as he walked over, now eating something. "I was still pretty hungry."

But Squidward quickly noticed something familiar about what he was eating. "Hey, where did you get that?"

"I found it." He answered as he took a bite of the slice of meat.

"But that's a krabby patty. Where could you have possibly gotten a krabby patty from?"

"I found it over there." Patrick pointed in the direction behind him. "There are a couple other things to eat too."

Squidward walked over to examine what Patrick was talking about, and he soon noticed a bunch of scattered ingredients like lettuce, tomato, onions, and patty slices. They were the missing krabby patties that SpongeBob was upset about. Squidward soon put two and two together.

He frowned angrily and clenched his fist. "Why, that little…"

* * *

Back up the mountain, SpongeBob quietly began to enter the cave and looked around the dark tunnel. SpongeBob crept through and noticed small burn marks on the cave walls and his feet kicked a few small bones on scattered the ground.

As SpongeBob nervously continued his way through the cave, he suddenly tripped and fell on the ground. When he sat up, his eyes widen to see it was a skull of some poor unfortunate passerby.

SpongeBob timidly chuckled and said, "Sorry about that." Then he quickly got up and continued on his way.

From the darker shadows of the cave, something long slid on the ground slithered quietly toward SpongeBob.

The sponge's eyes widen as he spotted a charred scallop; and when he touched it with his finger, it suddenly disintegrated. SpongeBob gulped in fright and came to the thought that there really was something living in this cave. But what?

This was answered in a manner of seconds when he heard the noise of a pebble dropping behind him and he spotted a long green eel with sharp teeth in its mouth and red eyes. Sparks of electricity appeared over its body revealing that it was an electric eel.

SpongeBob screamed as the eel swung its tail at him, but the sponge quickly dove on the ground and rolled away. The eel snarled and lit its body with electricity as it tried to grab SpongeBob in order to shock him.

He quickly jumped into a corner and backed against the wall, trying to remain as hidden as possible. SpongeBob held his knees close to his chest and shivered in terror. "First snakeheads, now electric eels…WHAT KIND OF OCEAN IS THIS?"

He then noticed the eel's tail once again trying to strike him around the corner with electricity generating on it. SpongeBob screamed and quickly jumped out of the way of the strike.

From outside the cave, Plankton noticed the flashes of light coming from the inside. "I better go see if SpongeBob is out of the picture yet."

He walks in and notices SpongeBob franticly trying to dodge the strikes of the eel known to most as 'Eli' around these parts. His eye widens at the sight of it. "I don't believe it…" he grew a joyful smile. "She's better than I dreamed!"

As SpongeBob ran from wall to wall of the cave to avoid the strike of Eli, he cried out, "Plankton! Help me!"

"Don't worry, SpongeBob, I'll help you!" Plankton responded, "Right after I help myself to that spatula when you're eel chow!"

SpongeBob continued to dodge the attacks of Eli. He had no idea why Plankton refused to help him. Was he planning all along to steal Hoagie's spatula? When SpongeBob was running, he tripped on a rock and fell to the ground, which caused the spatula to fall out of his pocket. Eli swung her tail at SpongeBob as it charged with electricity. But SpongeBob quickly grabbed the spatula and blocked the swing.

This was a mistake. The electricity traveled down the metal of the spatula and down SpongeBob's arm, zapping his entire body. He shrieked in pain and dropped the spatula, cutting off the electricity. He panted heavily almost as if he had been wrung dry.

When SpongeBob bent down and picked up the spatula, Eli grabbed him by his knapsack lifted him up into the air. SpongeBob flailed his arms and screamed, presumably about to be eaten. But then, he calmed down, and thinking quickly, tossed the spatula at a rock pile and caused it to roll across the ground trampling Eli and causing her to drop him on the ground.

SpongeBob got up and saw the eel had fallen unconscious. He hesitantly picked up his knapsack and pocketed the spatula before slowly walking out of the cave while dragging his bag across the floor.

Once SpongeBob had gone, Plankton ran over to the unconscious Eli and started shouting in her face, "Wake up, you buffoon! You're letting him get away with my spatula!"

At this, Eli opens her eyes and gives a deadly glare, alarming Plankton, who backs away in response.

* * *

Meanwhile, SpongeBob had finally exited the cave, still looking worn out from the struggle with Eli, and was still dragging his knapsack across the ground without care. He stopped for a moment and took in the fresh breeze. Then he turned his head to the left and noticed that the mountain had a smooth-looking trail that could take him to the bottom of the other side he needed to go.

SpongeBob sighed and grew a warm smile. "Despite that little turmoil of death, I guess it'll be smooth sailing from now on."

As he began to blissfully walk toward the trail, he failed to notice from the shadows in the cave, a light of sparkling electricity lit up to reveal Eli now back on her metaphorical feet.

SpongeBob continued to happily march toward his destination, not noticing Eli slithering over to him with killing intent in mind. However, when SpongeBob did notice- it was far too late.

Eli wrapped her tail around SpongeBob and lifted him off the ground; and once he was in her coils, she gave a long painful zap of electricity to SpongeBob, who gave a muffled shriek.

"Whoa," Plankton said in awe as he watched the whole thing from the entrance of the cave.

After Eli finally finished electrocuting SpongeBob, the sponge was now charred and smoking as he closed his eyes and slipped out of consciousness.

Eli began to move her sharp teeth close to SpongeBob, about to eat him. But this was interrupted when a pink flash appeared in front of her. It was Patrick, who was clamped onto Eli's mouth refusing to let go.

"What the Davy!" Plankton shouted in surprise.

The eel swung her head back and forth in an attempt to throw the starfish off. But Patrick refused to let of and grunted fiercely as he shouted, "I won't let you eat my best friend!"

All of Patrick's interference caused Eli to release SpongeBob, letting him fall flat on his face onto the ground. Eli slithered backwards blindly as Patrick refused to let go, but then she lit her body with electricity that finally caused Patrick to release his grip. The eel snarled at Patrick, about to exact revenge, but Patrick grabbed the mini-fridge off his back and smacked the eel across the face with it, pushing it off the cliff and off of the high mountain.

This didn't stop Patrick from looking off from the cliff and shouting after it, "And don't ever let me catch you trying to eat SpongeBob again!"

After witnessing the whole event, Plankton stood there by the cave entrance, looking dumbfounded as he slumped over, "Well, I didn't expect this to stop me from getting that spatula this time."

Then he noticed Squidward running past him from out of the cave, which the single-cell quickly hid behind a rock to avoid being seen. Squidward spotted SpongeBob's blackened body lying on the ground and quickly rushed over to him. He turned SpongeBob over on his back and noticed he was still unconscious.

"SpongeBob?" Squidward called as he shook him. "SpongeBob, wake up!"

At this, SpongeBob's eyelids twitch and he suddenly coughed out a puff of black smoke before opening his eyes half-way. "…Squidward?" he spoke in a raspy dry voice.

"SpongeBob!" Patrick shouted as he ran over to him. "That eel tried to eat you. But don't worry. Ol' Patrick taught him a lesson. I wish you had been awake to see it."

"…Patrick." SpongeBob spoke again. "…You guys came back for me."

Squidward replied, "Well, I'm sure you're aware by now that you've been duped by Plankton himself."

"Yeah," Patrick nodded. "But since we're all here, we can go to the Arctic together again."

But suddenly, SpongeBob took a large gasp for breath and didn't seem like he would be standing up anytime soon. "SpongeBob!" Squidward shouted in worry. "Are you okay?"

"I…I…don't know." SpongeBob said between breaths. "But…But please forgive me." He grabbed onto Squidward's tentacle. "I…I…don't know why I said all that stuff before. I'm sorry."

"Don't worry, SpongeBob." Patrick said with a smile. "We forgive you. We're not even mad."

"That's great…" SpongeBob said with a weak smile before taking another gasp for breath. "…Cuz I don't think I'm gonna make it to the Arctic."

"What?" Squidward asked in shock. "But what about all that stuff you said about being an important journey, and fulfilling your promise to Mr. Krabs and for Hoagie, and all that other nonsense you said that I wasn't paying attention to?"

"And what about all the stuff we're gonna do once we get back home?" Patrick asked, now looking depressed.

"I'm sorry…" SpongeBob said, now panting even more. "Take care of Gary for me, and tell…Hoagie…that…I'm…"

And just like that, SpongeBob closed his eyes and fell to the ground, no longer breathing. "SpongeBob?" Patrick asked with tears in his eyes.

Squidward even began to cry over the loss of SpongeBob. "How dare you go like this!" He shouted while sobbing. "How dare you drag me out here, make go through treacherous things, and then leave me stuck out here; you stupid barnacle head!"

Then he stood up and turned away, slumping over. "Come on, Patrick. Let's go."

Patrick stood up and began to follow Squidward, sadly looking at his deceased friend one last time before catching up to him. When the two were about to go back through the cave, they heard footsteps approaching from behind and quickly hid behind a large boulder to see who it was.

From out of the mountain trail, came three large green frogs, wearing armor plates and leather, and all looking very unfriendly to approach. One of them noticed the dried up SpongeBob on the ground and approached him.

"What do you make of this?" he asked as he poked SpongeBob with a long stick as if he were road kill.

The second approached him as well, staring at the lifeless sponge. "He looks dead. We should probably clean up the mess then."

The last frog (who unlike the other two had a left glass eye) inspected the cave from outside. "It don't look like Eli's in here. I'm guessing that one must've had a run in with her."

"It looks like Eli got the last hit on this little piece of cheese." The first frog pointed out as he kicked SpongeBob with his webbed feet.

"Let's sweep him off the mountain side." The second frog suggested again.

"Wait just a minute!" the third frog demanded as he approached SpongeBob, and then spit out his long tongue and ran it across SpongeBob's face before pulling it back in. "Just as I suspected. This one is a sea sponge. He should count his blessings for it after running into her."

"What're you talking about, Kip?" the second frog asked in an annoyed tone.

The third frog, apparently named Kip, continued to explain, "Bein' that he's a sponge, her shock had wrung him out dry. If it were anyone else, they'd be dead right now. Once this one's body has reabsorbed all the moisture around him, he'll be waking up in about an hour or so."

From behind the boulder, Squidward and Patrick's eyes widen at this, before ducking their heads down in order to avoid being seen.

"So what do we do with him then?" the first frog asked.

"Let's bring him with us." The Kip answered. "He's bound to have something valuable on him that we can make money off of; and once he's woken up, he'll probably make a great stew."

Kip began to walk back down the mountain trail while the second held SpongeBob's knapsack, and the first frog carried SpongeBob in his long tongue, hoisting him in the air.

Once the frogs were out of sight, the two contemplate on what they just heard. "Brrr…" Squidward shuddered as he held his arms. "I hate frogs. They're nothing but slimy, wart-carrying, disease-ridden creatures."

"I like their tongues." Patrick said and attempted to mimic the frogs' long stretchy tongues.

"Well, at least we know SpongeBob is still alive- yet at the mercy of those horrible putrid frogs." Squidward sighed and slumped. "And with the spatula in his hands, there's no doubt those frogs are gonna keep it for themselves."

"That's weird." Patrick said as he reached into his pocket. "Cuz I have it right here."

He pulled out none other than the golden spatula, much to Squidward's surprise. "What? When did you get that thing?"

"I took it from SpongeBob after he died. I thought we can finish the quest and destroy the spatula ourselves."

"Yeah…great idea. Just be careful with that thing." Squidward took a step away from the spatula. "There's something about it that's dangerous. When I held it last, it made me feel…odd."

But Patrick stared at the spatula with a blank look. "I don't feel anything. But it is making my head tickle." He chuckled dimly. "It's funny!"

Squidward sighed and walked ahead. "Well, I suppose we should get to the Arctic and get rid of that thing before it influences anyone else with a brain."

"But wait. Are we gonna go get SpongeBob from those frogs?"

"Well, what can we do?" Squidward asked as he glared at Patrick. "I said I hate frogs. And I'm sure as heck not gonna go marching to their place when there could be more of them waiting."

"But they said they were gonna have SpongeBob make a stew!" Patrick cried out. "And SpongeBob doesn't like stew!"

As Patrick continued to cry over the oblivious danger his best friend was in, Squidward grunted in annoyance and finally said, "Fine! I guess I do owe that little twerp one anyway." He began to walk down the mountain trail where the frogs headed. "Alright, Patrick, let's get that idiot out of yet another predicament he's gotten himself into."

"Yay!" Patrick cheered as he followed Squidward. "We're gonna be heroes again!"

But from the entrance of the cave, Plankton emerged from his hiding place with a furious look on his face. "I'll get that precious spatula…" he growled through his teeth. "…If it's the last thing I do."

_Now here's some bad guys in this story that I actually like Ha-ha-ha! But it looks like they're taking another detour to the Arctic. Please review what you think and a couple more chapters will come before the end. Gah, I shouldn't have said that!_


	17. Chapter 17: Hop to It

_Here's the next chapter of Keeper of the Spatula. We got a serious rescue mission here and it's not even funny….we'll, maybe a little._

_And don't forget to watch "SpongeBob's Frozen Face-Off" this Friday!_

_Enjoy…_

Chapter 17: Hop to It

Soon, dusk fell in the grey emotionless sky which seemed to very much match the large dark castle that was set in a swampy-looking area. Inside the castle, SpongeBob was lying on the ground on his side, still unconscious but the yellow seemed to return to his skin. He then began to open his blue eyes and yawned.

"I really needed that nap." He said with a little smile until he noticed the predicament he was in.

His wrists and ankles were tied to together with chains; and his knapsack, cloak, shoes, socks, and Krusty Krab hat were missing- save for his pants.

"What's going on? Where am I?" SpongeBob asked as he sat up to notice that he was in some type of dark scary dungeon with only one wooden door that had small bars on the window that let in only a little bit of light.

He then saw a shadow blocking the light from outside and noticed the door creeping open. He gasped quietly, and two of the same frogs that captured him stepped inside. They see SpongeBob lying back on the ground, supposedly still unconscious.

"When do you wreckin' he'll wake up, Kip?" the frog asked his partner.

The glass-eyed frog named 'Kip' answered in a cool sinister voice, "It must be pretty soon. He may have mostly useless valuables, but he should at least make a fine meal once he's awakened."

The other frog laughed. "I can't wait to see the look on his face once he finds out. He'll be so terrified!"

The frogs then went back out the door and shut it closed. On the ground, SpongeBob's face was indeed full of terror that his eyes were practically bugging out. He's probably never been so scared in his whole life.

* * *

Outside the castle, Patrick and Squidward were hiding behind a large boulder to avoid being seen by anyone who may be keeping guard near the castle.

"Alright, SpongeBob's inside that place." Squidward pointed out to Patrick. "How are we supposed to get in and get him out?"

"Oh, I know." Patrick said with a confident smile. "We go up to the castle, knock on the door, and when they open it, we run in, grab SpongeBob, and run outside."

Squidward frowned dully. "Is there any plan to be covert or even undercover in that strategy?"

Patrick scratched his chin in thought. "No. I don't think it involves blankets."

"Forget it," Squidward said as he stood up and walked away. "Let's just do this the old-fashioned way and pray to Neptune that we don't get caught."

"I like that plan." Patrick gleefully said as he followed Squidward.

Soon afterwards, both Patrick and Squidward left their baggage outside and snuck in through the window of the castle. Squidward carefully softened his footsteps as he stepped on the ground. But when Patrick climbed through the window, he fell flat on his face with a loud thud.

"Get up, you incompetent idiot." Squidward quietly scolded. "Are you trying to get us caught?"

But then, they heard tapping sounds coming from down the hallway. Squidward panics and pushes Patrick towards a door. "Quick, let's hide in here."

He pushes Patrick into the closet and quickly shuts the door. A frog walks past the door and looks around as if he heard something. But he shrugs his shoulders and assumes it's nothing and keeps walking.

Once the frog was out of sight, Squidward and Patrick crept out of the closet. "Let's just find SpongeBob and get out of here." The octopus quickly said.

As the two walk down the hall to look for SpongeBob, Squidward saw that the hall divided into three which made it difficult to know which way to go. "Oh great," Squidward shouted in annoyance. "He can be in any of these directions."

"Hey, look at this." Patrick pointed as he ran down the far right hall and picked up a green cloak on the floor.

Squidward walked over and stared at it curiously. "This looks like the cloaks we have that the mermaids gave us. The only other person who has one like this is SpongeBob." Squidward stared down the hallway where Patrick found it. "And it looks like he could be down this way."

They walked down the hall and came into a large room. Squidward quickly backed Patrick against the wall when he spotted a pair of frogs inside. One of them was holding SpongeBob's knapsack. He reached inside and pulled out a pair of white underwear.

"Useless," he tossed it aside and pulled out a book. "'Wonderful World of Jellyfish'? Worthless!" he tossed it aside as well and took out a small photograph which was a picture of Sandy Cheeks. "What is this? A rodent? Nothing but junk!" he tossed it aside and it flew into a lit torch disintegrating instantly.

"This sponge doesn't have anything valuable we can get rich off of." The second frog said as he held SpongeBob's Krusty Krab hat."

He too tossed it aside and the hat landed in front of Patrick and Squidward. The frog then held SpongeBob's socks and shoes. "But his footwear does look like it can fetch a few doubloons."

The frog ransacking SpongeBob's knapsack then pulled out a bottle of bubble soap. "Interesting." He said. "Bubbles are worth millions around these parts."

"Bubbles?" the second frog exclaimed as he dropped his stuff and grabbed a hold of the bottle. "Gimme 'em! I should be the one to sell them!"

"NO!" the frog refused to let go as he and his partner fought over the bubble soap.

As Squidward and Patrick watched this, Squidward looked at the far corner of the room to see a wooden door with bars on the window. He quietly signaled Patrick and they crawled on the floor to sneak past the fighting frogs.

Squidward slowly stood up and creaked the door open as he peeked inside to see SpongeBob alone in the dark room, laying on his side with his back turned. But then, Patrick barged in and shouted happily, "SpongeBob!"

Once he heard this, SpongeBob immediately sat up and turned to them with his eyes red and puffy from all the crying he had been doing. "Patrick, Squidward, is that really you?"

Patrick ran over and hugged him tightly. "Oh, SpongeBob, we thought you were gonna have to eat stew with those mean frogs!"

SpongeBob would've returned his hug if not for the chains restricting his wrists. "I was scared too, Patrick." He said as he cried again. "…I thought I'd never see you again."

Squidward knelt down to him, and after which, SpongeBob flung himself into his arms. "Those frogs said they were gonna kill me!" he cried into Squidward's chest. "…And that they were gonna cook me into something called 'fly stew'!"

As the sponge cried and cried in distress, Squidward, for once, decided pat SpongeBob on the head and offer him comfort. "There, there, SpongeBob." He said in a voice that didn't seem to enjoy doing this, but tried to be a bit sincere, "It'll all be over soon. Let's just get out of here before anyone sees us."

SpongeBob sat up and calmed down a bit. "Okay…But what'll we do now? Those frogs took the spatula. We can't go to the Arctic anymore."

"No they didn't." Patrick said as he reached into his pocket. "I have the spatula right here." He held out the spatula, and then showed SpongeBob he had his cloak and uniform hat. "I also found some of your stuff."

SpongeBob smiled at this and seemed to have his happiness back. "Oh, Patrick, you're the best best friend anyone could ever have." He again tried to stand up and hug Patrick, but his wrists and ankles were still chained together. "If only I could get these things off."

"Hang on," Squidward said as he reached behind him. "I have some lotion in my backpocket."

As Squidward took out a bottle of lotion, SpongeBob took this moment to ask, "You brought a bottle of lotion with you?"

"Of course I did." Squidward snapped back. "How else do you think I've been keeping my body sanitized this whole time?"

Squidward then squeezed drops of lotion on SpongeBob's wrists and ankles, allowing him to slip them out of the chains. Patrick then gave SpongeBob his cloak, hat, and spatula back. SpongeBob wished that they could've brought his shoes and socks back as well, but he wasn't about to complain about it.

Squidward took the lead once again and peeked outside to see the coast was clear before they snuck out of the dungeon in order to find the exit. SpongeBob kept close to Patrick out of fear as they both followed Squidward.

As they rounded a corner, a voice shouted, "Where do you three think you're going?"

SpongeBob and Patrick shriek in fright and grab onto each other. Squidward also became nervous as he tried to answer, "We're just…uhhh…going out there?"

"Oh, you're not leaving so soon, are you?" he grew a smirk across his slimy lips as he approached them.

The three scream and try to head down the hall, but the frog suddenly jumped in the air and landed in their path. "Going somewhere?" he asked with an evil laugh and a croak.

With no other choice, the three decided to run in the opposite direction while screaming. They ran past the two frogs who were earlier fighting over SpongeBob's belongings. The two frogs stared when they noticed them until the one chasing shouted, "Don't just stand there! After them!"

The two frogs immediately stopped what they were doing and chased after SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward. While they were running down a hall, they spotted another hallway up ahead through a doorway, but before they could get to it, one of the frogs shot his long tongue out and it wrapped around SpongeBob's ankle, causing the sponge to trip forward.

"NO!" SpongeBob cried out as he was dragged across the floor by the evil grinning frog.

Patrick quickly grabbed a hold of SpongeBob's arms and began to pull him with all his strength. Squidward held the door open and shouted, "Come on! This way!"

The second frog also shot his tongue out and wrapped it around SpongeBob's other ankle which made it harder for Patrick to keep SpongeBob from being captured.

"Hurry up!" Squidward shouted as he waited by the door.

But Patrick refused to let go of SpongeBob and slowly walked backward while gripping SpongeBob's arm while the frogs' tongues were holding SpongeBob's ankles. Patrick moved through the doorway with SpongeBob, and once the two were inside the room, Squidward slammed the door shut on the frogs' tongues, and their muffled screams were heard outside the room and their tongues loosened around SpongeBob's ankles.

SpongeBob made a sickened expression as he sat on the ground and removed the tongues off his ankles. "Eww, thanks guys." He said to Patrick and Squidward.

"Let's keep moving." Squidward immediately said as he marched forward.

Patrick helped SpongeBob back on his feet and followed him. Squidward peeked from behind a corner and glanced at both the left and right path to see no frogs in sight. "Which way do we go now?" Patrick asked.

"I'm not sure." Squidward answered. "Any of these ways can lead us to those slimy frogs."

SpongeBob pulled out the spatula from his pocket and noticed it glow for a second. "Wait a second, guys." He told the two. "I think Hoagie knows which way to go."

"Put that thing away, SpongeBob!" Squidward demanded in annoyance. "In case you've forgotten, that spatula is the reason we're in this mess."

But SpongeBob ignored Squidward's rambling and ran down the right hall. "He knows it's this way!"

"SpongeBob, get back here, you idiot!" Squidward shouted as he and Patrick ran after him.

* * *

Eventually, SpongeBob led his friends into another small room with a stone oven and stove, a table with a bunch of knives and utensils on it and a large kettle pot on top of the stove. It was obviously a kitchen, a very gloomy one at that as it didn't look like it was cleaned on a regular basis.

"Oh nice…this is very nice." Squidward sarcastically said with a glare as he looked around. "I was getting hungry anyway. I guess you figured we might as well eat before we're killed, right?"

"Oh, thank goodness." Patrick said as he walked over to a counter and picked up a large ladle and took a spoonful of liquid from the kettle and slurped it up.

He made a disgusted face. "Blah! It needs a little bit of dead beetle." Then to the disgust of Squidward, he picked up a dead beetle from the counter and threw it into the pot before taking another slurp from the stew.

"It's gotta be here somewhere." SpongeBob thought out loud as he ran through the kitchen. "Hoagie's right. We're gonna be saved!"

"Saved?" Squidward questioned in anger. "How in Neptune's name are we saved? You followed the advice of a spatula that's been dooming our lives since the day you found it! For all we know, it could be trying to kill us right now!"

"Nah ah ah, Squidward." SpongeBob teased as he walked over to the right side of the wall. "You're forgetting. That where there are fancy kitchens, there's bound to be a lot of garbage, and where there's a lot of garbage," he pulls down a small metal door with a sliding duct inside, "There's a garbage chute!"

At this, Squidward smiled and ran over to the chute to see SpongeBob was right about it being their ticket out of here. "I never thought I'd say this," Squidward said to the smiling sponge, "but nice job, SpongeBob!"

SpongeBob grinned and flushed at these comments until it was all disrupted by an icy voice, "Yeah, SpongeBob…nice job."

The three turn to the doorway to see the lead frog, Kip, standing there with a malevolent smile on his face. "You saved us the trouble of dragging you in here ourselves. Just in time for supper."

The frogs behind him all laughed as one of them said, "Let's start cooking, Kip!"

SpongeBob quickly blurted, "Wait a minute, Kip!" he stood in ahead of them and put on a weak smile, trying to remain as calm as possible. "You don't really wanna eat me, right? I mean, you already took my shoes, socks, and other personal belongings. So why not just let us go and we can all be even?"

But Kip's response to this was to shoot his tongue out like a whip at SpongeBob as the sponge shrieked and quickly stepped to the side to avoid it.

"I'm afraid it doesn't work that way, kid." Kip said in a cold sinister tone as he stared down at SpongeBob. "I always get what I want. And I think we'll be having you for eats tonight, and maybe your two friends can join us tomorrow for breakfast and lunch."

"All right!" Patrick cheered in complete oblivious until he looked skeptical all of a sudden. "Wait. We're not having stew, are we? Cuz that would be a real bummer."

"Oh please, Mr. Kip." SpongeBob begged as held his frightened face. "Can't we work something out? You see, I've been through a lot these past five days and I really don't want to have to fight my way through anything else that wants to kill me."

"No fighting, just surrendering." Kip responded as he walked toward SpongeBob. "If I don't kill you all, how else am I supposed to silence you twits about what we do?"

As Kip slowly advanced towards him, SpongeBob whimpered in fright as he backed away toward the stove. Squidward seemed quickly frightened as he tried to shrink against the wall.

"Wait!" Patrick called out. "I know just what we can give you if you let us go. A kiss!"

To this, everybody gave him strange looks. But Patrick just continued on, "My mom read me a story once that when a frog got kissed by somebody, they turned into a prince and got everything they wanted!"

Squidward, of course, didn't look convince by it, "That has got to be the stupi-"

"That's brilliant!" Kip said, now with a look of shock and amazement. "I never knew. Did you, boys?" he turned to his cohorts, and they all shake their heads in response, also surprised by this statement.

Then Kip turned around with emotion and hurt in his voice which surprised the three, "But the truth is I've never been kissed by anyone. Not even by my own mum."

SpongeBob then tried to offer some sympathy for the frog leader. "I'm sure when the time comes when you are kissed; you still have a lot of good and beauty in you and you'll get everything your heart desires."

"Uh- yeah." Squidward hesitantly agreed. "Sure." Then he muttered under his breath, "But I'm not doing the kissing."

"Thanks mate," Kip said sincerely. "That means a lot." He wiped a tear from his real eye. "I'll always remember that after I kill you all."

After this comment, SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward's eyes bulge out, and the frog gang laughs evilly again as Kip shoots his long tongue out and grabs SpongeBob, lifting him up in the air.

"No!" SpongeBob cries out as he tries to shake loose. "No! No! No!"

Kip then dangles SpongeBob over the large kettle pot. "Any last words before we start cooking?" he coldly asks.

Thinking quickly, Squidward looks on the counter and spots a red bottle sitting there. He rushes over, grabs it, and squirts red liquid on Kip's outstretched tongue. The frog leader's eye starts to water and the sauce burns his tongue as he cries out in pain while his gang surrounds him in concern.

His tongue drops SpongeBob on the ground, and the sponge quickly gets up and runs over to his friends. "Let's go." Squidward said as he and the two go to the garbage chute.

Patrick climbs in and attempts to go through, but his weight made it difficult.

SpongeBob and Squidward try to push him through, but the frogs notice them. "Hey, they're getting away!" one of the frogs shouted.

As Squidward tried to push Patrick through, SpongeBob momentarily stops and notices a bag of flour on the table. He takes out his spatula and it glows green before firing a beam of light and making the bag explode into blinding white powder.

With the frogs blind and coughing, Patrick finally succeeds in getting through the chute, and Squidward climbs in next, followed by SpongeBob who slides through the chute.

* * *

After sliding through the chute, they take a large drop from the castle that resided off a cliff and land in a small pond of murky green water and scattered trash.

"Ugh…" Squidward groaned as he sat up. "We made it."

SpongeBob lifted his face out of the dirty water and looked equally exhausted, "Yeah."

Patrick stood up and walked looked around, "Where are we now?"

"Outside the miserable frog castle, you idiot!" Squidward bitterly responded. "Where else would we-" but then a gust of wind blew, causing him to shiver. "Brrrr…it's so cold."

SpongeBob held his arms as well from the cold, "It is. And it was so warm before-" then his eyes widen in realization. "It _is_ cold. This could only mean one thing: We're near the Arctic!"

"What?" Squidward asked in surprise.

"Yay!" Patrick cheered and clapped. "We're finally there!"

SpongeBob and Patrick high-five and body slam in joy. Squidward just stood there and frowned dully. "Alright, alright," he said, interrupted. "We're almost there, happy, happy. Now let's just get there before those frogs catch up to us."

The two agreed and Patrick excitedly said, "Can I scout ahead again?"

"I don't see why not." SpongeBob cheerfully agreed. "Want me come with you?"

"No thanks. I know exactly where I'm going."

Patrick then ran off over the stone hills and Squidward began to get out of the dirty pond. But before he could take one step out, SpongeBob suddenly ran up and hugged him. "SpongeBob!" he shouted in annoyance. "What are you doing?"

SpongeBob looked up at him with glowing eyes and a genuine warm smile. "I just wanna thank you; for saving my life back there." He hugged him even tighter. "I don't know what I'd do without you guys."

Squidward's frown suddenly disappeared into a stunned look as he stared down at the grateful sponge who he despised so much. "Uh…sure." He struggled to say. "Don't mention it." When SpongeBob finally let go, Squidward quickly attempted to change the subject, "We better get going if we wanna reach the Arctic."

"You're sure right, Squidward." SpongeBob replied with a giggle. "Let's go! Maybe when we get there, we can play in the nice calm pretty snow."

He ran off to catch up to his best friend, Patrick, while Squidward stood there in the pond with a blank look on his face. But then, a small smile suddenly grew on as he sighed.

"Another job well done, Squiddy." He said to himself proudly. "You are a born hero."

From above the garbage chute, a large bag of trash suddenly plummeted down and landed right on top of Squidward, piling the hero into the murky green pond.

_Yes, they're finally here! Next SpongeBob and friends are at the Arctic….should be smooth sailing through there, right? Please review the chapter._


	18. Chapter 18: Freezer of the Mind

_Here's the next chapter of "Keeper of the Spatula". Last time, SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward made it to the Arctic. But how will they fare in its environment?_

_Enjoy…_

Chapter 18: Freezer of the Mind

Later that same evening, SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward continued their journey; and after days of travel, the three finally reached the Arctic Ocean! However…unlike SpongeBob's previous comment, the Arctic was not nice, calm, or pretty. It was nothing but strong gusts of freezing wind full of ice and snow.

This made the walk through it not at all easy for SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward. With Squidward and Patrick's luggage lost, and SpongeBob's luggage stolen, the only thing the three had to keep warm was the cloaks the mermaids gave them. The snow on SpongeBob's bare feet was of course uncomfortable for him, but if Squidward and Patrick can walk without shoes every day, so could he.

As Squidward trudged through the rough blizzard, he finally yelled out over the loud wind, "I take it all back! Compared to everything I've been through this past week, _this_ is a nightmare!"

"It's not so bad, Squidward!" SpongeBob yelled back to him, trying to remain positive. "We're really almost done once we reach the volcano!"

"I still don't believe…" Squidward yelled, now out of breath from walking through the cold. "That there is a volcano…in this wasteland!"

"There has to be!" SpongeBob shouted with a shiver as the icy wind hit his face. "Mr. Krabs said there would be! Right Patrick?"

From under his hood, Patrick cupped his ear and shouted back, "What?"

SpongeBob spoke in a louder voice over the wind, "I said, there has to be a volcano here, right Patrick?"

"WHAT?"

"I SAID, THERE HAS TO BE A VOLCANO OUT HERE, RIGHT PA-" but a strong gust of wind suddenly blew right pass them, knocking the sponge off his feet.

Patrick didn't seem to notice and leaned closer to SpongeBob, "CAN YOU REPEAT THAT, SPONGEBOB?"

SpongeBob sounded as if he responded, but with all the snow on top of him, he was muffled.

"We don't have time for this!" Squidward shouted over the wind as he grabbed SpongeBob's arm and pulled him out of the snow and onto his feet. "We're gonna freeze to death if we just stand here!" He paused as his teeth chatter from the cold. "And I am not about to let that happen after coming all this way, and finally making it to this stupid Arctic!"

"You're right, Squidward!" SpongeBob agreed with a shiver as he rubbed both his arms. "If we don't hurry, Hoagie will never be free from that spatula."

"You're worried about that vile spatula when our lives are in danger?" Squidward frustratingly asked.

"I made a-"

"You made a promise to Hoagie and Mr. Krabs!" Squidward finished sarcastically as he began to continue walking. "Blah, blah, blah! I get it already!"

"Wow," Patrick said to SpongeBob in amazement. "Squidward's a mind-reader."

But then Squidward stopped a moment and shivered. "I just don't know how long we can keep walking without a wormsled!"

As SpongeBob stood there in the cold snow, he narrowed his eyes in determination, patted his right pocket, and began to march forward. "We can do it, Squidward!" He grabbed Squidward's hand. "As long as we stick together, the freezing winds won't stop us!" He extended his other hand toward Patrick. "Come on, Pat!"

Patrick grabbed his best friend's hand, and SpongeBob began pulling the two through the cold wind and snow. As he trudged and trudged his frozen feet through the snow, he noticed his path was blinded by the snow-filled wind. Oddly, Squidward and Patrick hadn't made a peep since they started walking again through the blizzard, but he still had their hands in his grasp so he knew they were there. But how much further could he go until they reached the volcano: The last stop of their journey?

* * *

It was a sunny day out on beautiful Jellyfish Fields, where the jellyfish were happily buzzing about in the sky. Behind a large boulder, a small jellyfish net was sticking out, possibly trying to be inconspicuous. But when a jellyfish buzzed passed it, from behind the boulder, leapt SpongeBob SquarePants with his net over his head and a shrill cry of excitement.

He flew through the air and swiftly caught the jellyfish in his net. Afterwards, he floated lightly back down to the ground on his feet right next to Patrick.

"Whoo-hoo!" Patrick cheered with his fist held in the air. "Nice catch, SpongeBob!"

SpongeBob bowed gracefully. "Thank you, my good man." Then he stood up and pushed his net outward to let the jellyfish go free. "Nothing beats a day of jellyfishing; especially after returning from the Arctic."

"I didn't like the Arctic." Patrick commented. "It was too cold."

"Me neither." SpongeBob made an assuring smile. "But it's over and we don't have to worry about it anymore."

"Uh huh," Patrick agreed with a nod. "What's next on your list-of-things-to-do-now-that-we're-back-home?"

SpongeBob reached into his left pocket and pulled out a long sheet of paper. "It says here that I have karate with Sandy." He put his list back his pocket. "What does yours say?"

Patrick reached into his pocket and pulled out a list that was _much_ smaller than SpongeBob's. Right below the checkmark with 'Jellyfish with SpongeBob' was the checkmark 'Do nothing'. "It's 'do nothing'. That's the one what I've been waiting for!"

"That's great, buddy!" SpongeBob shouted in joy. "Later on, I have 'Eat hero cake with my best friend'."

"That's the second one I've been waiting for!"

"Mine too. I love being a hero. Wait'll Sandy gets a load of me when I see her."

"Oh! Oh! Oh!" Patrick shouted to get his attention. "And don't forget to make her bow down before you since you're a hero now."

SpongeBob bowed again and replied, "That I shall do, fellow hero, Mr. Patrick Star."

When SpongeBob turned to walk away, Patrick suddenly grabbed his shoulder to stop him. "What do you think you're doing, SquarePants?" he asked in anger

"Walking to Sandy." SpongeBob meekly replied.

"You can't walk." Patrick pointed out brusquely. "Heroes don't walk!"

SpongeBob stopped and considered this. "Hmm, you're right. But how will I get there without using my feet?"

To answer his question, a group of jellyfish flew in front of him and huddled together to make a platform for someone to sit upon.

"I guess my ride is here." SpongeBob said with a smile as he hopped up and sat down on top of the jellyfish.

Patrick blew kiss to SpongeBob as the jellyfish began to lift him into the sky. "Farewell, Master SpongeBob, I shall see you in another time."

SpongeBob stared down at Patrick and waved back to him. "Goodbye Pat! I shall see you at another time as well- like lunch, is that okay?"

As SpongeBob flew through the skies of Bikini Bottom, he yawned and stretched his arms. "I'll tell ya, life as a hero can be pretty exhausting."

The jellyfish buzzed in response, and SpongeBob responded, "Why, I saw plenty of stuff on my adventure. I even met a Black Toxicity Jellyfish."

The jellyfish make buzzing noises again to which SpongeBob sighs sadly and answers, "Unfortunately, yes…" he perks up and shouts happily, "But I lived!"

The group of jellyfish seemed to buzz in excitement as they landed toward the ground at Goo Lagoon. SpongeBob hopped on the sandy beach and waved goodbye to the jellyfish as they flew back to Jellyfish Fields.

SpongeBob turned around and saw Sandy lifting weights and impressing everybody with her tremendous strength.

"Sandy!" SpongeBob called out as he ran toward his squirrel friend.

Sandy dropped the weight on the sand and turned to welcome her friend. "Howdy SpongeBob!" she greeted with a smile. "Nice to see you're back."

"I'm glad to be back, Miss. Cheeks." SpongeBob replied in a proud tone. "And did you know I just so happen to be a hero upon my return."

"Well, of course I know. Everyone does." She signaled to the other beachgoers, who were cheering in excitement as they looked at SpongeBob. "You're tougher than a Bull-rider on a bucking bronco weighin' in at 800 pounds."

SpongeBob gasped in amazement at his cheering fans. "We love you, SpongeBob!" one of them shouted.

"You're a hero!" a blue male fish shouted from behind the crowd.

A man in front held a small notebook. "Sign my notebook!"

"Sign my surfboard!" another fish shouted holding his long surfboard.

"Sign my dentures!" an old lady fish shouted, pulling her false teeth out of her mouth.

"Sign my underwear!" a young male fish shouted, holding out a pair of tightey-whiteys.

"Sign my kid!" A man shouted as he held out his son.

While SpongeBob was distracted by the high-strung crowd, Sandy suddenly put on her green karate gloves, and got his attention. "Now how about we see just what all that travelin' and hero stuff made y'all!"

SpongeBob laughed and pulled out his red karate gloves. "I'll show you just what I did to that mean 'ol chief!"

As the karate match began, all the fish were pumping their fist in the air and chanting for their favorite sponge, "Hero! Hero! Hero! Hero! Hero!"

While SpongeBob prepared to make his move, a group of teenage girl fish jumped out of the crowd and got next to SpongeBob, "We love you, SpongeBob!" one of them screamed widely.

"You're so handsome!"

"Kiss me!"

Before SpongeBob could react to any of them, Sandy suddenly jumped forward and knocked them all away with a karate chop. "They had that one comin'." Sandy simply stated.

She then made another karate chop at SpongeBob, who quickly reacted by blocking it with his gloved-fist. "HI-YAA!" SpongeBob cried out as he closed his eyes and lifted his fist.

When Sandy blocked his attack, SpongeBob continued by jumping toward Sandy and landing a karate chop at her. But Sandy quickly blocked it and made one swift uppercut that knocked SpongeBob into the air.

As the crowd continued chanting for their hero, SpongeBob fell back toward the ground with his fist held high and a determined smile on his face. He dismounted with ease and twirled around until he gave Sandy a hard karate chop at her face, sending her sliding on the ground. The crowd cheered widely for SpongeBob's victory as the sponge ran over to see if his opponent was alright.

But Sandy got up with ease and smiled. "Whoo-eee! You really are stronger than three two-ton oxen pullin' a heavy loaded wagon filled with fifty stacks of hay."

SpongeBob giggled in delight. "You really think so?"

"Sure nuff." Sandy replied with a nod.

"THERE HE IS!" a female voice shouted, and the two quickly turn to see a mob of female fish standing ahead.

"IT'S THE HERO!" they all shouted and screamed as they began to stampede toward SpongeBob.

The sponge laughed and said to Sandy. "I'll see you next time." He said to her before running away at fast speed.

Sandy just narrowed her eyes in annoyance as the mob of women ran past her to chase after their hero. She continued to stand there until the mob passed, but her eyes widen to see Scooter also following in hot pursuit as he laughed his usual surfer dialect laugh.

* * *

SpongeBob soon ran all the way out of Goo Lagoon and through the streets of Bikini Bottom as the mob chanted, "Hero, hero, hero!" as they continued to chase SpongeBob like a pack of adoring fans. SpongeBob himself enjoyed this, but the excitement of it soon began to die down as he tired out from all the running.

As SpongeBob ran, he said to himself with each pant, "…Phew…Now I know what it feels like to be in a music video."

SpongeBob was chased all the way out of the city and reached a high cliff. With no other choice, he jumped off which stopped the mob from following him. Yet, SpongeBob didn't plummet to the ground; he was caught by Gary…with a jetpack on his shell."

SpongeBob hung onto his pet snail and looked back to see his fans screaming his name in excitement as they watched him fly away. Gary having a jetpack just in time to rescue him did not seem odd in the slightest, so he just sighed in relief and said, "Thanks Gary."

"Meow." Gary replied back and commented.

SpongeBob blushed and replied, "Yeah, I am a hero."

Gary narrowed his eyes dully and added, "Meow."

"Oh, behave, Gary." SpongeBob replied with a grin.

When they reached Conch Street, Gary lowered to the ground and dropped SpongeBob on the street right in front of his house. When SpongeBob was safely on the ground, the sponge waved goodbye to his flying snail. "Thanks Gar!"

Before SpongeBob could have a minute alone, Squidward ran up to him, much to his delight. "SpongeBob, you're here!" he said with a big smile.

"Oh hey, Squidward." SpongeBob greeted with a smile. "I haven't seen you since we came back. How are you getting along?"

"I'm doing just fine, SpongeBob." Squidward said in a cheerful tone. "In fact, I've never been better." Then he instantly pulled out a bowl of vanilla ice-cream from behind his back. "I got us some ice-cream to share together. I know it's your favorite."

"That it is!" SpongeBob gleefully replied as he took a spoonful from the bowl and ate a bite. All the while, Squidward's abnormal behavior didn't cross his mind one bit.

As Squidward ate some of the ice-cream too, he asked SpongeBob. "So how does it feel being a hero? Everyone knows you definitely deserve it."

"It feels great." SpongeBob answered in joy. "I know that journey was the right thing to do." He then reached back into his pocket and took out the list. "That reminds me. The next thing on my list is to pay my respects."

"Oh yeah…" Squidward said, suddenly looking sad. "Can't forget about that."

"Wanna come with me?"

"No thanks. I'm gonna paint a pretty picture of the rainbow I saw out my window the other day." Squidward explained as he handed SpongeBob the ice-cream. "Why don't you keep the rest, so can stay happy while visiting Mr. Krabs."

SpongeBob smiled again as he held the bowl. "Oh, thanks, Squidward. You're the best friend ever."

Squidward grinned and pointed at SpongeBob. "No, you're the best friend ever."

SpongeBob chuckled and said, "No, you are."

"No, you."

"No, you are."

"No, you."

"No, you are."

"No, you."

"No, you are."

"No, you times infinity."

"Oh, barnacles, you got me." SpongeBob said with a laugh before walking away. "See you later, Squidward."

Squidward cheerfully waved and shouted, "Goodbye SpongeBob, ol' pal of mine!"

* * *

Later on, behind the Krusty Krab, SpongeBob knelt down in front of a tombstone stuck into the ground and the words written across, 'In Memory of Mr. Krabs: The Greatest Boss Ever'.

SpongeBob smiled sadly as he talked to the memorial. "We sure do miss you, Mr. Krabs. You're a hero too, you know that? We just wish you can be here with us to celebrate our return."

He placed a bouquet of sea flowers by the memorial, and then placed the bowl of ice-cream next to it.

"And here's some ice-cream Squidward gave me. You can have some too." He stood up and placed his uniform hat on. "You may be dead, but I'll keep the Krusty Krab alive in your honor."

SpongeBob stood up and walked into the Krusty Krab to resume his job as fry cook. The inside of the restaurant was completely empty that it was almost eerie, no customers and no Squidward to cashier. But SpongeBob loved the place so much that he didn't let the emptiness affect him. Surely when he got the place bustling again, it'll be as good as it was even now that Mr. Krabs wasn't running it anymore. But when he was about to walk into the kitchen, he spotted a shadow from inside the kitchen through the window by the front counter boat.

"Hello?" SpongeBob called out to whoever it was. He opened the kitchen door and mentioned, "This area's restricted for Krusty Krab employees only."

But once he stepped inside the kitchen, he spotted a shark wearing glasses, a yellow shirt, brown pants, boots, a cooking apron with a name tag, and a Krusty Krab hat; standing in front of the grill. SpongeBob somehow recognized him, but he just couldn't remember where.

Before he knew it, the shark turned to him with a sharp toothy braces-filled grin as he responded, "But I am an employee here."

"Uhhh…" SpongeBob stammered, unsure of what to say. "I…I'm sorry. I don't remember seeing you work here before."

"You mean you don't recognize me?" the shark replied in his friendliest tone. "Eh, I'm not surprised. I mean I've only talked to you a few times, and you've never seen me in person. How can you see anyone at work when they're dead?"

"Wait a minute." SpongeBob said as a thought came into his mind, and suddenly remembered where he had seen this person. "You wouldn't happen to be…"

"Hoagie Grindulas?" the shark finished as he gestured over his nametag which SpongeBob obviously didn't notice right in front of him. "At your service."

"Oh Neptune!" SpongeBob cried out with shrill excitement in his voice. "I don't believe it. You're really here standing in front of me! The first fry cook of the Krusty Krab, the maker of the most delicious krabby patties the sea has ever tasted. He's standing right in front of me!"

Hoagie giggled in flattery. "Oh, stop you're embarrassing me. I can't believe I'm meeting the current fry cook of the Krusty Krab, the one who makes just as scrumptious krabby patties anyone has ever tasted."

Then, they suddenly grab hands and jump for joy in unison that it was like being in front of a mirror. "You're my hero!" they shouted in harmony.

Then SpongeBob straightened up as best as his over-eagerness would let him and added, "The only way to make a krabby patty the tastiest in Bikini Bottom…"

"…is to shower them with love!" Hoagie finished in the same excited tone as his fellow fry cook.

"Oh, this is just too great!" SpongeBob said in happiness as he spun around once. "I could never get this much enthusiasm out of Squidward."

"Yeah, Squidward…" Hoagie said as he reminisced. "He isn't a jolly one, is he? But he does have interesting pride in his own…interest, doesn't he?"

"I guess." SpongeBob said with a chuckle. "But I don't get it, Hoagie. Why are you here when you're soul should be free after we threw you into the volcano?"

"Oh," Hoagie replied with a sly smile. "Did you?"

"Well, yeah. I'm back in Bikini Bottom and everyone is glad that I made it back okay. I'm a hero."

"Are sure about that, kid?" Hoagie asked, now looking really intimidating. "Haven't you noticed that everyone you've met today didn't even mention _why_ you're a hero?"

SpongeBob seemed shock by this, but even more so when Hoagie added, "And why don't you check your front pocket?"

SpongeBob did this as he dug his hand into his right pocket and pulled out none other than the cursed golden spatula. "It can't be!" he shouted in shock as he stared at it.

"It is." Hoagie said with a smirk.

SpongeBob stammered a bit as he tapped on the spatula. "But… if you're in here…" he pointed at Hoagie with his shaking finger. "Then how are you…"

"You don't get it, do you, kid?" Hoagie said, staring close at SpongeBob as he too tapped on the spatula. "Yes, half of me is in here." Then he tapped the side of SpongeBob's head. "But the other half is right here."

"In my head?" SpongeBob muttered in shock.

"No, silly." Hoagie said with a friendly smile again as he took a step back and spread his arms apart. "Right here…in your mind."

"My mind?" SpongeBob held his face in shock, dropping the spatula on the ground. "You mean we're inside my mind right now."

"Think about it, Cheesehead. What's the last thing you remember doing before all this?"

"I was…I was walking through the Arctic with Patrick and Squidward. It was really cold and…"

"EXACTLY!" Hoagie shouted in enthusiasm. "You appear here because you're excited about what'll happen after you throw my soul into that volcano. You think everyone will praise you yet, no one even knows where the heck you are right now or what you're doing. But why in Neptune's name would anybody praise you when you're THROWING ME INTO A VOLCANO?"

SpongeBob was startled by Hoagie's sudden outburst, but gave a weak smile and chuckle. "But Hoagie…we're only doing it, so we can…"

"Free my soul?" Hoagie walked over and franticly grabbed SpongeBob by his arms. "Who said I wanted my soul free?"

"Well, Mr. Krabs said…"

"KRABS?" Hoagie shouted in anger as he shook SpongeBob. "Who cares about what he said! He wouldn't let me love my krabby patties!"

SpongeBob was almost scared by Hoagie's outbursts, but before he can even say anything to calm the spirit down. Hoagie instantly calmed down on his own and smiled calmly as he let go of SpongeBob.

"Look at them, kid." Hoagie smoothly said as he signaled over to a stack of freshly made krabby patties that somehow instantly appeared on the grill. "Don't they just make you wanna cry?"

As SpongeBob stared at them, he didn't cry, but his eyes glow as he smiled. "…yeah. They're perfectly made too."

Hoagie walked over to them and wrapped his arms around them. "They deserve to be loved and nurtured." As he held an armful of krabby patties, his eyes glare with hatred again. "And that fool Krabs wouldn't let me give them that. Can you believe it?"

As SpongeBob stared at him from far away, he decided to take the risk and talk to the crazed deceased fry cook. "Uh…Hoagie? Don't you think that maybe krabby patties can be loved and enjoyed by others?"

"NO!" Hoagie yelled out in a crazed voice as he turned to SpongeBob with an equal expression that startled the sponge. "Don't ever suggest that, kid!"

He then approached SpongeBob and spoke in a calm voice as he grabbed SpongeBob's hands, "Do you want all the hard work we put into those krabby patties to be soiled? Do you really think anybody can treat them with the same respect and love as we do?"

SpongeBob wasn't sure what Hoagie was trying to convince him of, but the last few days, he knew what feeling he was talking about, so he could easily answer, "No."

"Exactly." Then Hoagie turned and walked away as he began to cry real tears. "And Krabs just took that all away from me. The next thing I know, I'm in my own spatula unable to feel my own krabby patties."

Soon enough, SpongeBob found himself crying. "Oh, Hoagie…Don't you worry, I'll do whatever it takes to get you to that volcano and free you."

Hoagie suddenly snapped, no longer in tears, "Weren't you listening, you nit-wit? How am I supposed to be with any of my krabby patties if I'm in what you call 'the afterlife'?"

"Gee…" SpongeBob said as he thought this over. "I never really thought of that."

Hoagie suddenly turned his head toward SpongeBob as he wickedly chuckled and smirked. "And there's your answer." He waved his hand, and at his movements, the golden spatula lifted in the air and fell back into SpongeBob's hands. "To tell the truth, you're my favorite keeper of my spatula. After all, you love krabby patties just like I do."

SpongeBob smiled lightly. "That's what I like about you too, Hoagie."

"Yeah, I know, but listen to me, kid." Hoagie said in determination as he turned to SpongeBob and stared him in the eyes. "As I said before, part of my soul is in that spatula, and the other part is right here in your mind. The more you hold my spatula, the stronger I become in here. I make the best krabby patties and give them all the love and care they need, and with my spatula, so can you. You can make all the patties you want and I'll be right here at your side, helping you all the way.

"One spatula to rule all krabby patties, one spatula to find krabby patties, one spatula to bring all krabby patties and on the heat of the grill bind them!" he grinned to SpongeBob. "-came up with that myself just now- and you know what the best part is? No one will ever touch them. As long as you hold my spatula, you can feel that."

As SpongeBob listened to Hoagie's words, he had a blank look on his face as he took in everything he said.

"What do you say to that…fellow fry cook?"

Hoagie anticipated SpongeBob's answer, and when the answer finally came, SpongeBob snapped out of his daze and wiped his forehead. "Is it getting hot in here?"

"What?" Hoagie asked in confusion.

"No, really." SpongeBob continued saying as he began to sweat. "It's getting really hot in here." As he began to sweat more and more, he fanned himself with his hand. "Okay, now it's burning up."

He suddenly hopped in the air and steam spewed out of his pores as he screamed, "AAAAAAHHH!

* * *

"AAAAAAAHH!" SpongeBob screamed as he sat up with his tongue sticking out of his mouth.

"SpongeBob, you're awake!" Patrick cried out as he hugged SpongeBob in joy.

"Patrick?" SpongeBob asked in surprise to see his best friend.

He looked around and saw he was sitting in the snow-covered field of the Arctic Ocean, right where he was before his last predicament took place. The only change that occurred was that the harsh winds seemed to have died down a bit, making the area a little easier to see.

"Finally." Squidward said as he sat next to the two with a bottle. "I thought you were gonna lie there dead forever."

"Squidward?" SpongeBob asked as well until he smiled and stood up. "I was wondering where you guys ran off to after I met Hoagie. You should've been there. He was amazing."

"SpongeBob, what the barnacles are you talking about?" Squidward asked in annoyed anger. "You've lying there for two hours."

"I what?" SpongeBob asked, now in shock.

"Uh huh," Patrick said with a nod.

Squidward continued explaining, "While you and Patrick were acting like morons and wasting your warm breath by shouting, a strong wind blew and the next thing that happened, you fell over from hypothermia."

"All that really happened?" SpongeBob asked, feeling his own body to see if he had any chills.

"That's right." Patrick answered as he pulled SpongeBob in for a hug. "But I was the one that warmed you up again, and Squidward was the one who helped wake you up by putting the frogs' hot sauce in your mouth."

"Oh," SpongeBob said, a little surprised and shaken. "But I was in my mind, and Hoagie was telling me all that stuff." He reached into his pocket and pulled out the spatula. "He said he didn't wanna be thrown into the volcano."

As Patrick looked ahead into the distance, he smiled and pointed, "Hey look! The sun is coming up!"

SpongeBob and Squidward looked in the same direction and saw a bright red glow ahead in the distance Patrick was pointing to.

"I don't think that's the sun." Squidward mentioned, looking a bit unsure.

"Yeah…" SpongeBob agreed. "It looks like."

As the weather cleared up a bit more, they noticed a mountain from where the red glow was, and when squinting, they noticed the glow was emitting from the top of the mountain.

Squidward removed his hood and stared in shock. "Is that the…"

"VOLCANO!" SpongeBob and Patrick cheered in joy as they jumped up in the snow.

"Come on!" Patrick shouted as he began running toward the mountain.

Squidward followed closely behind, and SpongeBob stopped a moment, he looked at the spatula and said to it quietly, "I'm sorry, Hoagie. I know you're scared, but you have to be set free. I promise when this is over, I'll make krabby patties not just for the customers, but for you as well."

"SPONGEBOB!" Squidward yelled at him from afar. "Get a move on before you freeze again!"

"Coming!" SpongeBob shouted back as he pocketed the spatula and ran forward to catch up with the others.

But from far away, as the three rushed toward the Arctic Volcano, a small pair of antennas moved through the snow like a submarine and stopped. They rise up and a small eye comes into view, carrying a bloodshot menacing glare that stared at his objective moving ahead.

_Nothing like a good journey to the center of the mind- or mind rape in some cases. I mean, come on, every story needs a filler before the big climax. Please review what you thought and the next big chapter will be up soon._


	19. Chapter 19: Near the Inferno

_And now for the exciting chapter of Keeper of the Spatula. After treading through the Arctic in its harsh blizzard, SpongeBob and friends finally reach the volcano, now ready to destroy the cursed spatula forever. _

_Enjoy…_

Chapter 19: Near the Inferno

Soon, SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward reach the volcano and began to climb up the heated mountain. SpongeBob being the most excited of the three, climbed up the fastest. "We're here! We're here!" he shouted eagerly with each climb. "You hear that, Hoagie? You're only minutes away from being freed!" he let out a giggle and once again said, "Freed...! Freed…freed."

Suddenly, his smile disappears and his climbing slows down which allows his friends to catch up to him. Patrick stopped next to him and asked in concern, "What's wrong, SpongeBob?"

SpongeBob shook out of his daze and answered, "Oh, nothing. I'm fine."

Squidward climbed next to him and spat, "Then stop doddling and let's get a move on. The sooner this nightmare ends the better."

They continued their climb up the volcano and eventually reached the top with a large flat surface at the ring of the mouth that had smoke coming from inside.

"Wow," Patrick said as he stood at the top. "Climbing a volcano can really make a guy perspirate." This was proven when he lifted up his arm to show his armpit sweating.

Squidward's forehead even began to sweat which he wiped with his arm. "Let's just hurry and throw that spatula in. I can really use that blizzard now."

"Sure thing, Squidward. It won't take long." SpongeBob said with a nod as he took the spatula out of his pocket and walked over to the edge of the volcano by himself.

He stopped and glanced over the edge to see boiling lava inside. He gulped and looked at the spatula. "Well, Hoagie, I guess this is goodbye." He said to the spatula. "We've really been through a lot together, and you still make the most delicious krabby patties in the whole sea. I know you're scared, but I have to throw you into the volcano now. It'll free you from the spatula and from my mind."

He extends his arm over the edge, about to drop the spatula into the lava. But before he can let go of the spatula, he talks to it once again, "It's a shame though. If you were alive, we could've made the finest krabby patties together, and share ice-cream, go to the movies, make krabby patties together, spend a day at Goo Lagoon, make krabby patties together, go jellyfishing…" as he goes on, his eyes slowly widen with madness and retracts his arm back with the spatula, "…make krabby patties together…go bike-riding…_keep_ krabby patties together."

He holds the spatula close and gets an enraged look as he speaks in a spiteful tone, "Oh, I see it now. Everybody _wants _me to get rid of you…cuz they're all just jealous." He glares even harder as he tightens his grip on the spatula. "You were right, Hoagie. They don't care about our patties, they only care about themselves."

From near the cliff, Patrick and Squidward were standing far behind as they watch SpongeBob finish their duty. But after while, they notice the sponge was taking longer than he should have.

"SpongeBob!" Squidward called out to him. "What's the hold up? Did you toss that thing yet?"

At this, SpongeBob immediately turned around with an uncharacteristically dark frown on his face and the golden spatula still in his fist. This seemed to startle them a bit.

"SpongeBob?" Patrick timidly asked. "I think you forgot to throw the spatula in the volcano."

"No, Patrick Star." SpongeBob spoke in a stone cold voice. "I'm keeping Hoagie with me." He smiled weakly and held the spatula close to his cheek. "We're gonna be together forever and ever, and we'll make all the krabby patties we want and no one will ever soil their beauty again!"

Squidward grabbed a hold of SpongeBob's shoulders. "Get a hold of yourself, SquarePants! That's the spatula talking! Go throw it into the volcano now!"

"NEVER!" SpongeBob shouted as he stepped back from Squidward's grip. "You'd like that wouldn't you? If you can't have Hoagie, no one can, is that is?"

"You sick little freak."

"But if you don't throw the spatula in the lava, we can't do all the things we said we were gonna do." Patrick pointed out. "We're best friends."

"You're wrong." SpongeBob said with a glare. "Hoagie and I are best friends now. He said he'd be with me forever if I didn't throw him into the lava." He stroked the spatula's metal. "He's my fellow fry cook and we'll never let anyone ruin our beautiful krabby patties again!"

He laughed madly and twirled around with the spatula held in the air while Squidward and Patrick could do nothing but stare haplessly as SpongeBob succumbed to the spatula's power. But then, a scream was heard, and they all turn to see Plankton had climbed up the volcano and screamed madly as he jumped atop SpongeBob's fist that held the spatula.

Plankton then struggled to pull the spatula out of SpongeBob's fist as he shouted, "Gimme! Precious…spatula!"

However, SpongeBob refused to let go and stumbled around the volcano, fighting with Plankton over the spatula as he shouted, "No! Hoagie…mine!"

But SpongeBob soon stumbled backwards towards the edge of the volcano and the two fell over the side as Squidward and Patrick gasp in shock.

SpongeBob screamed and lost his grip on the spatula, but managed to grab onto a ledge that hung above the lava. However, Plankton held onto the spatula and grinned in triumph as he fell. "It's mine!" he shouted. "It's finally mine!" He laughed maniacally up until he and the spatula fell into the lava.

Afterwards, the lava in the volcano started to boil and smoke as it started to rise. SpongeBob still hung onto the ledge and sweated profusely in fear and heat as the magma nearly reached him. He closed his eyes, fearing the end- until two hands grabbed a hold of his arms and pulled him back up.

Squidward and Patrick pulled SpongeBob back on the ledge of the volcano just as the mountain erupted and spewed lava from the top like a fountain.

Surprisingly, from out of the lava, Plankton also flew out, albeit all scorched and blackened with the tip of his antennas lit with small flames. He flew through the sky like a comet with a blank look on his face. "Well…" he said in defeat. "I suppose it's better to quit than let it overcome my life."

As Plankton flew all the way out of the Arctic, more lava erupted from the volcano and black smoke reached the sky. Among the smoke, a sparkle of gold flickered and from out of the mouth of the volcano, eerie green mist flew into the sky and suddenly vanished into nothingness now that the soul of Hoagie Grindulas was free from the cooking tool and free to never possess anyone's minds again.

* * *

"I can't believe it." SpongeBob's voice spoke as he, Squidward, and Patrick lay flat on their backs on edge of a cliff that was on the side of the volcano. They were surrounded by a river of lava running down from the top which gave them no way to escape. But nonetheless, SpongeBob continued speaking cheerfully to his friends as he stared up at the ash-filled sky, "Hoagie's free from the spatula and my mind. Free from that imprisonment and free to rest in peace. We did it."

"Yeah…" Squidward somewhat agreed.

Patrick smiled and replied, "That's right."

Squidward sighed and added, "I guess this what victory feels like when I'm traveling with you two." But then he heard sniffling and turned his head to see SpongeBob's eyes watering as he cried. "SpongeBob, what's wrong?"

"Well, I don't really know how to feel about it." SpongeBob answered sadly as he cried softly. "Even though Hoagie was a fry cook like me, he wasn't as good a friend as I thought he was. He lied to me, made me feel anguished, and he made me treat you guys like dirt. Not to mention, he used me to mistreat the thing I love most in this world."

Squidward thought SpongeBob crying over something as simple as that was not important, but nonetheless said to him, "Look, SpongeBob, he's gone now and he can't try and possess you anymore. If it makes you feel any better he nearly got to me too. Plus he's more irritating than you are."

SpongeBob wiped his tears and smiled, "Really?"

"Sure."

SpongeBob's smile came back and Patrick patted his shoulder. "And I think you're a better friend than Hoagie is. And I would never use you."

"Thanks, Pat." SpongeBob said with a smile as he held Patrick's hand. "And I know you'll always be the perfect best friend for me."

"Look," Squidward said as he turned his head toward them. "I love to interrupt the sappiness, but you do realize that we're stuck here?"

"Oh yeah." SpongeBob remembered as his smile faded. "I don't how we're gonna get back to Bikini Bottom now."

"And I really have to go to the bathroom too." Patrick mentioned.

Squidward groaned loudly and his eyes water. "So this is how it all ends. Us stranded here and forced to die."

As he began to cry, SpongeBob took his tentacle in his hand. "I guess you're right." He said with a small smile. "Maybe we are gonna die."

Squidward stared at him, puzzled while SpongeBob grabbed Patrick's hand as well. "But you know what?" he added. "I'm okay with it."

As SpongeBob lied there, holding each of his friends' hands, he smiled up at the sky and continued on, "We've been through so much together this past week and did a good thing for someone who needed our help…at the cost of me feeling his selfishness in my heart. And if we're really supposed to die now after all of it, well…I'm glad that it's together with you guys."

After SpongeBob's deep little emotional speech, Squidward suddenly tightened his grip on SpongeBob's hand and looked back up at the sky with his eyes still watering. "Yeah…" he said in sadness, "Sounds great."

"Will I be able to go to the bathroom after we die?" Patrick asked.

"We sure will, buddy." SpongeBob answered optimistically as he softly closed his eyes. "We sure will."

* * *

Many hours later, SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward had passed out on the small island on the volcano. The three were still holding each other's hand, never having let go. As the three lied there unconscious, a strange wind suddenly began to blow in the ash-filled sky.

SpongeBob began to open his eyes and sat up, having noticed this. As he looked up at the sky, he began to hear a strange whirring sound as well. But then, he noticed the wind began to pick up and the sound grew louder and louder.

Then through the ash, a bright light suddenly shined which SpongeBob had to squint to even see. He wasn't sure if he should warn the other two of its possible danger or not worry about it.

But this all changed when the ash blew away in the wind and a helicopter came into view right over his head. The loud sound of the chopper woke up Squidward and Patrick as they stare up at it.

"Ahoy, boys!" a familiar voice called out.

The three stare up at the helicopter in agape to see its side door opened and inside was none other than Mr. Krabs.

"Mr. Krabs?" the three asked in shock.

"He's alive!" SpongeBob shouted in joy as he stood up.

The crab laughed as he stared down at his employees. "Long time no see!" he shouted down at them. "I wasn't sure I'd ever find ya!"

"Mr. Krabs!" SpongeBob called out to him. "We did it! The spatula's gone now!"

Mr. Krabs sighed happily and called back, "And with that, I think it's time we all returned back home!"

He lowered a rope ladder from the helicopter, and SpongeBob, Squidward, and Patrick all cheered as they began to climb up. Once everyone was safely inside, Squidward immediately took a seat right next to a dented cash register and sighed in relief, "Heaven at last."

"Squidward sure likes being dead." Patrick commented to SpongeBob.

"You're not dead, Patrick." Mr. Krabs pointed out. "I happened to save you three from that horrible fate."

"We're glad to see you're okay, Mr. Krabs." SpongeBob told his boss with a smile and hug. "What happened to you anyway?"

"Well, it wasn't a pretty sight." Mr. Krabs contently explained. "Cashie an' me barely escaped with our lives, we did. Kobra…not so lucky. But that doesn't matter now cuz we're headin' back Bikini Bottom!"

The pilot, Ranger Dave, smiled as he looked back at them and began to drive the helicopter to take its passengers back home to Bikini Bottom.

_The adventure is finally over…but the story isn't. We have another chapter to go before the finale. I hope you enjoyed this chapter just as much as I did, so please review what you thought and stick around._


	20. Chapter 20: Reconciliation

_And now…I bring you the final chapter of Keeper of the Spatula! It's been a while, but I'm really glad how the whole story turned out. I also thank those who read and enjoyed it as well. For this chapter, see how SpongeBob and friends are living in the aftermath of the journey…_

Chapter 20: Reconciliation

After destroying the cursed golden spatula of Hoagie Grindulas in the lava of the Arctic volcano, and returning home from the Arctic Ocean, three days have passed in Bikini Bottom since SpongeBob, Patrick, Mr. Krabs, and Squidward's return. Things soon went back to normal as it was the day they left.

Right now, business at the Krusty Krab continued as Squidward took a customer's order as usual.

"That'll be two dollars." Squidward said as he took the money from the fish, and opened up the cash register (whose wounds never healed since the journey) and placed the money inside.

As the krabby patty was placed on the window, the fry cook peeked out from behind and whispered, "Pss! Ask him."

"No." Squidward dully told SpongeBob as he took the patty.

"Come on, ask him." SpongeBob continued to plead in whisper.

Squidward quickly gave in and gave the krabby patty to the customer as he asked, "Listen, have you heard of any heroes around lately?"

"No…" the customer asked, looking very confused, "Not really."

"You're lucky."

After the customer walked away, Squidward told the sponge, "You see, SpongeBob? Once again, you're not a hero, you're a zero."

SpongeBob sighed sadly as he cooked more patties on the grill. "That's a shame." But he quickly smiled. "Oh well, at least we know we succeeded."

Squidward glanced back at him and commented, "You know, you're really weirding me out, SpongeBob. For someone whose mind had been possessed by an evil cursed spatula, you're sure acting like your normal annoying little self."

SpongeBob was a little puzzled by what Squidward was concerned about. "But what about you?" he asked as well. "I remember you held Hoagie as well."

"In case you haven't noticed, I am psychologically broken." Squidward pointed out. "Just like I was the day we left."

Whether Squidward was right or not, he'd probably never know, but SpongeBob smiled again and answered the question as well, "To tell the truth, I think I was too." He then looked concerned and a bit shamed. "I couldn't tell you how scarred I was after losing Hoagie from my heart for good." Then his giddy smile returned, "But…my happiness returned and my sorrow left when I held the one true spatula I'll ever have." To show this, he picked up his usual cooking spatula and held it close."

"Gag me." Squidward dourly muttered as he turned back around.

"Also, if it hadn't been for what you said back there at that volcano, I don't think I would have ever gotten back to normal!" SpongeBob mentioned.

"I don't remember that!" Squidward shouted back. "I'll have you know that everything I said before was because of the toxic fumes in the air from that volcano. I still hate you no matter what."

Suddenly, the front doors opened and Patrick came inside. "Hey SpongeBob!"

"Hi Patrick!" SpongeBob greeted as he ran out of the kitchen and over to his best friend.

"You gotta help me." Patrick said to SpongeBob, looking frantic about something. "I'm sending another pen to Clarice, but I don't know which one to send her." He held out two different colored pens. "Should I send her this blue one or this one with funny-looking ink inside?"

As SpongeBob pondered over this, he stared at the 'funny-looking inked pen' and noticed something more funnily about it.

"Patrick, that's not a pen." SpongeBob pointed out. "That's a lead pencil."

"Wow," Patrick said in amazement as he stared at the pencil. "A pen with lead inside. She'll love this!"

To SpongeBob's surprise, Patrick excitedly rushed out the door to find a mailbox to send his pen to his pen-pal. SpongeBob then went back into the kitchen and picked up his spatula. He held it in both his palms and began talking to it.

"I'm sorry about what happened before." He said in a sincere tone. "I guess I was blinded by Hoagie's abilities that I completely forgot what's really important in life. You may not be possessed by a talented deceased fry cook, but you're _my_ spatula and you can cook krabby patties better than Hoagie ever could."

And to show just how much he appreciated his old spatula, SpongeBob decided to sing about it!

SpongeBob: **OHHHH!**

Hearing SpongeBob's high notes, Squidward gritted his teeth in frustration and stuffed napkins in his ears, hoping to drown him out.

SpongeBob: **Me and my Spat**

**He's back in my hand**

**Serving up patties**

**And it's just grand**

SpongeBob scoops up all the krabby patties off the grill, having them neatly stacked on top of his spatula, and proceeds to toss them into the air with each patty landing neatly on the buns lined up on the counter.

SpongeBob: **Me at my Spat**

**Still doin' our part**

**Serving up patties**

**Now that he's back in my heart**

SpongeBob handed Squidward a plate with a krabby patty, but then retracted it just as he would do if still possessed by Hoagie, much to Squidward's surprise. However, SpongeBob just grinned at his joke and handed it back while Squidward growled in annoyance and snatched the plate out of his hands.

Afterwards, SpongeBob came out of the kitchen with two trays of krabby patties in each hand. With careful aim, he enthusiastically tossed each tray on the customers' table. After which, SpongeBob continued singing.

SpongeBob: **Before I was blinded**

**Before I was wrong**

**But with Spat to remind me where my heart lies**

**I can keep myself going**

**Back to where I belong**

The customers didn't seem too entertained by SpongeBob's song this time around; possibly because there was no flying golden spatula serving them their food. Nonetheless, SpongeBob continued singing from the bottom of his heart.

SpongeBob: **OHHHH!**

But this time, Mr. Krabs came out of his office and approached Squidward as he started singing the same song his employee sang with different lyrics, but the same tune.

Mr. Krabs: **Hey! Me and my Cashie**

**We missed all the fun**

**Lost on the journey**

**With no credit done**

Squidward: **You two are lucky**

**I wanna go to bed**

**With what I've been through**

**I wish I were dead**

* * *

From across the street, a large telescope was peering out of the Chum Bucket, which Plankton used to spy on the whole thing while he was sitting in a wheelchair that matched his height, and was wearing a neck brace and bandages on his arm and legs.

Plankton: **I lost my ambition**

**I lost my life goal**

Then Karen's monitor strolled over behind Plankton and used her extendable arms to place a pillow behind her husband's back.

Karen: **But with that big failure, you can still do your worst**

With this, Plankton grinned evilly as he possibly formed another one of his ideas now that he would go back to stealing the krabby patty formula.

Plankton: **And I can keep myself going**

**I'm on a role!**

* * *

Back at the Krusty Krab, SpongeBob was twirling around the restaurant with his spatula in one hand and a krabby patty in the other.

SpongeBob: **OHHHH! Me and my Spat**

**We're still a great team**

**Serving up patties**

**Just as it seems**

SpongeBob: **Me and my Spat**

**We'll never be apart**

**Serving up patties**

**With all of our heart**

As he finished his song, he twirled back into the kitchen and did a split on the floor for a finished beat. But as he lowered his head on the floor, he noticed something strange under the grill.

SpongeBob immediately came out of the kitchen with the item in hand. "Mr. Krabs!" he called out. "Do you know what this is?"

When Mr. Krabs spotted what SpongeBob had found, he screamed to see it was…an onion ring! Suddenly, a red warning light flashed and a loud siren rang out, startling all the customers.

Mr. Krabs yelled at the top of his lungs, "Vacate the premises, everyone!" as he chased out the customers, he continued yelling, "Ya heard me! Out all of ya!"

Once the restaurant was empty, the Krusty Krab once again went into lockdown with steel walls covering the windows and doors. An angry Mr. Krabs walked over to Squidward and SpongeBob, who both had equally odd looks.

"What's wrong, Mr. Krabs?" SpongeBob asked in confusion.

"Do you know what that is, boy?" Mr. Krabs asked as he pointed at the onion ring.

SpongeBob gasped as he held out the onion out. "Is this a cursed item that has another fry cook's soul in it that we have to journey far and wide to destroy?"  
Hearing this, Squidward's expression became blank as he placed the wastebasket over his head and fell on his back inside the front counter boat.

"Of course not." Mr. Krabs answered SpongeBob. "What are ya? Crazy? I dropped that blasted thing under the grill years ago. It's been sitting there ever since, and leaving a foul stench that I can smell in the air every time I walk in there."

This was generally proven when upon closer inspection; the onion ring was covered in mold and filth from where it had been all these years.

"Anyone who brings it out here will probably leave the place needin' to be exterminated." Mr. Krabs explained with his voice becoming distressed. "And do ya know how much that's gonna cost me!" he then ran all the way back to his office. "Just put that in the cellar and never speak of it again!"

As SpongeBob stood there with a baffled expression as he held the moldy onion ring, Patrick suddenly came in out of nowhere with his usual dim smile.

"I'm back." He said before spotting in the onion ring, snatching it out of SpongeBob's hand, and eating it in one bite.

**The End**

_It's a song filled ending for us all. Like I said before, I usually don't use songs in my stories, but I thought since a lot of people told me they liked the song from the first chapter, I decided to include a reprised version of it to fit the last chapter._

_But anyway, it is now the end of the story, hope you enjoyed my SpongeBob version of Lord of the Rings. Now I would like to hear your thoughts on this chapter and the whole story in general, so please leave a review._

_And that's it for now. If you liked this story, please check out all my other SpongeBob stories and other works on my profile. SOLmaster out!_


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